Kyle, a high school senior

Kyle scribbled on the piece of notebook paper on his desk, writing another boring one-pager for his Civics class. It was 5:00 on a Thursday night, and he knew he’d have to turn it in first thing tomorrow morning. His mechanical pencil was running out of lead, and he tossed it over his shoulder, frustrated that he had to do this stupid assignment, and even more so that the cheap tools he had were failing him.

He sighed, and turned the swivel chair around to retrieve the pencil, when he spotted something shiny — illuminating, really — on the ground. It looked like a wedding band, a simple golden ring with a diamond on top. He didn’t own any jewelry, and his Mom, the only person he lived with, hardly ever came into his room. In fact, Kyle was sure the ring wasn’t his Mom’s at all!

Eager for a distraction from his schoolwork, he picked it up and slid it onto a finger. It glittered, and gleamed, and Kyle was mightily impressed. But he really was curious and wanted to get to the bottom of it, so he got up and walked across the house to his mother’s office, to see if she knew anything.

Nicole was a buxom older woman, some 40 years young, who happened to work at Kyle’s high school as a History teacher. At present, she was tapping away on her computer, her hair let down, and pretty feet dangling inches from the rustic wooden floor. She paid no mind to her son when she came through the office’s entrance. Or at least, she pretended to. They had a habit of joking around in that kind of way.

“Mom, do you know anything about this ring? I found it on the ground near my desk,” he said, flashing the thing near her and tilting his hand back and forth. The light reflecting off of the gemstone caught her eye, and she pulled his fingers close to her to observe.

“No, but it’s very beautiful. You should keep it, son.” Kyle’s lips tightened at that; he hated when she called him that. “Son.” Even if it wasn’t meant like that, it came off to him as dismissive.

“By the way, when you get the chance, wash the dishes in the sink for me,” she mentioned, offhand, her attention trained back on her iMac.

If there was anything Kyle resented more than homework, or being referred to as Son, it was all the chores he had to do around the house. The plates had been piling for a few days now, and it was long past due for him to clean things up. But he was in the mood for a zinger.

“Are you sure? Good Moms always do the dishes for their boy.” He chuckled, and looked down at the ring, waiting for Nicole’s smart retort, and inevitably having to drag himself into the kitchen. Strangely, though, there was no response of the kind. Kyle’s Mom blinked, and shook her head for a couple seconds, before looking at Kyle apologetically.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry, Kyle! Let me get that taken care of, right away.” And she leaned back, hopping off her chair, and sauntered into the kitchen, stopping in front of the dirty sink. Kyle stared at her with confusion and wonderment. Why had she apologized? His mother snatched the plate at the top of the heap, and with a wet sponge in the other hand, started scrubbing.

“Mom, uh… why are you washing the dishes?”

Nicole made a face like it was the most obvious and natural thing in the world. “Well, good moms always do the dishes for their boy. I’m a good mother, aren’t I?” She snickered, then resumed her work. Kyle watched for a minute and thought she must be playing a practical joke on him. As the seconds ticked on, though, that hypothesis seemed less and less plausible. He traced his steps and considered what the cause of his Mom’s new behavior was. He looked down again.

No… it isn’t possible…

“You know, the most effective way to wash dishes is with your bare hands.” His mother was a known germaphobe, and she would never stoop for a bit to touching the crumbs and stray pieces of cold, rotten meals and juices that were left on the dishes in the sink. But the same process took hold of her: blink, shake her head, then drop the sponge and swipe the food off with her palms! Nicole glanced at her boy and arched an eyebrow.

“Why are you standing around and watching me? Don’t you have a paper to write?”

Kyle could barely conceal his glee as another impossible suggestion came to his head. “Actually, I was wrong. The most efficient and proper way to clean dishes is with your feet. Everyone knows that.” His jaw literally dropped at what happened next.

His mother walked to the other side of the room where the dining table was at, and yanked a chair out from underneath it. She pulled it to where she had previously been standing, sat down, and raised a foot to a grimy plate! She moved it back and forth until it was completely bare, then went on the next one.

Kyle covered his mouth in amazement as every phrase he uttered became the indisputable truth to his Mom. It was then that a thought which was never far from Kyle’s mind returned to the forefront. For all the qualms he had about his mother, there was no doubt to Kyle that she was the most gorgeous woman he knew, save for his girlfriend Courtney. Many was the time he fantasized about having his attractive mom love him, not as her offspring, but as her boyfriend. After all, she had the biggest, most mesmerizing tits in the business, and he reveled in the sight of them as the next command became obvious to him. If that was really a joke, then it was worth the try.

“Mom, you’re my girlfriend!”