Konosuba! Normality Earrings

“Okay, I pick you.” he declared with quiet satisfaction as he got to his feet and pointed at her.

She stared at him for a long time with a chip pressed to her lips before her eyes focused upon the crumpled sheet he held in his other hand, “All right, stand there and don't leave the magic circle-”

Her holy magic erupted all around him, pulsating and thrumming with gathering power that made his hand throb, destroying the paper he'd absently been clutching.

The light show relented slightly as Aqua paused as his non-conforming words suddenly registered, “Eh? What did you just say?”

What happened next was a joy for Kazuma to behold as another scantily clad goddess appeared to grant him his request. His rude attendant freaked right the hell out as they were both lifted up into columns of light and cast from this place by this quite polite and really rather kind seeming newcomer.

How come he couldn't have got her in the first place?

Wide brilliant blue skies, artfully painted with white cottony clouds. The bubbling sound of gently flowing water. The two of them were standing on a street of a calm prosperous community. A stone city wall in the distance with one and two story houses all around them with plenty of space and wide well-thought out streets. Colorful flags dangled from candle powered light-posts and gaily painted tree trunks wrapped with ribbons were inter spaced about the streets for decoration. Interestingly dressed people calmly went about their business, laughing and talking, bartering, chasing geese, etc.

“Hey, this really is a parallel world!” Kazuma cried out with wonder. He honestly could not believe it. “W-wait, I'm really going to be using magic and going on adventures in this world from now on?” He enthused as his eyes flashed across a strong looking party of what had to be adventurers. One even had pointed ears, an elf! There would be elf-maidens!

He tensed his muscles and clenched his fist with excitement, “Goodbye, shut-in life! Hello, new world! I can really start anew in this world!”

An annoying dark cloud whined and cried beside him, pulling at her hair like a recalcitrant toddler, quietly he told her, “Hey, shut up.”

“What am I going to do if everyone thinks I'm friends with a crazy woman?” He was really finding it endlessly refreshing to soak in Aqua's distress, turn about being fair-play. Breezily, he turned to her, “More importantly, isn't there something you're supposed to give me at a time like this?”

Her fit continued unabated.

“Look at what I'm wearing. I'm in a tracksuit. Here I am in a fantasy world, and all I have is a single tracksuit. Isn't there a bare minimum of starter equipment I should-”

Aqua suddenly lurched at him, grabbing his collar in order to provide him a close-up view of how unattractive she could make her pretty face be as she wailed and contorted it as she cried.

She jerked him back and forth and he demanded loudly, “Wh-what the heck?! Stop! Stop it!”

Aqua did instantly but he got the feeling it had nothing to do with his words as her face froze and her eyes seemed to focus on something to the side of his head. Her eyes tracked to the other side. He saw her gulp heavily before her hands flew away from his collar and she took a careful step back.

He absently pulled at his collar and straightened, looking around he was relieved that none of the villagers seemed to be paying them any attention. “Thank you. Now as I-”

Kazuma narrowed his eyes at the goddess. She was doing something weird. She had turned away and had her fingers in her ears as she hummed loudly to herself. He looked around again, wondering if there was some magical pied-piper type mob about. Nothing. No suspicious music. Though a few people were eying Aqua's strange behavior.

Slowly, he walked around to her front and grabbed her hands, pulling them away from her head, “What are you doing?”

Aqua didn't resist his hold on her at all as she told him something nonsensical, “Trying to protect myself from those earrings!”

He cocked his head to the side at that. Then he felt the unfamiliar sensation on his earlobes. She went on, “Are you doing something weird to me? Because- don't!”

Kazuma let go of her wrists and touched the small metal earrings he was now wearing apparently as he asked, “What are you going on about now?”

“Doing something I think is normal but isn't really but oh no! What do I do? This is awful! My brain my poor brain is already corrupted! It wasn't supposed to be like this! I'm a goddess! No.” Aqua had been quite clearly on the path to a complete nervous break down, her face going red, her breathing picking up, as she danced around. But all of a sudden she seemed to take solace from that last declaration, her body bent around her clenched fists held to her lips. The look in her eyes was one of clear madness as she looked upon Kazuma. She suddenly straightened and drew herself up and declared, “That's right. I am a goddess. And as such. Those things that I called into existence don't work on me at all.”

“Oh?” asked Kazuma, having figured out what she was talking about roughly halfway through her tirade, he was now settling his curiosity. He nodded downwards between them, “Does what I'm doing now not bother you?” His hands had only had to lift Aqua's skirt a couple inches to reveal that she was in fact not wearing any panties. Also she had no hair down there. And it was an exceedingly cute little pussy for such an annoying goddess.

She looked but her expression didn't change as she very clearly noticed what he was doing. Her lips took on a smug smirk, “What? You looking at the perfection that is my holy womanhood? You should try harder if you want to trick me into thinking those silly things could work on me!”

Those silly things were the Normality Earrings, the first sheet he had looked at so he remembered the description pretty well. Supposedly, everything he did would be considered normal and generally acceptable to all those in society. Additionally, he could make changes to the social mores of people by saying something with the word 'normal'. At first glance, it appeared that Aqua was wrong and she was affected but the more he thought about it, he wasn't so sure.

Here was a person who had not even been wearing panties in the first place. Combine that with her ludicrously short skirt and the fact that she wasn't even a normal person. What did she care if mere mortals saw her vagina? Did she even use it in the first place? She'd said there was no sex in heaven...

What he did next probably had to do with the blood rushing away from his brain to his crotch, "Okay, okay. But what do you think of this?" He dropped her skirt and reached around behind her to fully grab each of her butt-cheeks in his hands. He squeezed them rudely and even pulled and rotated them around like some sort of loon.

Aqua gasped slightly as she was lifted up bodily by his action but otherwise her reaction was muted, "Of what?"

"Me grabbing your ass?!" he told her incredulously.

"Its fine, of course." she chirped like a certified crazy person.

Not helping. She was aware of the earrings and he couldn't trust her little show right there at the beginning. She could be playing him. An expansion of his test was called for. A very heavy-set laborer type with a thick bushy brown beard was passing by with a large scythe over his shoulder.

Kazuma waved and got the middle aged man's attention, "Hi! Good day, sir! Can I trouble you for a moment?"

The man stopped and grinned, his grin growing even bigger as he took in Aqua's present state, the front of her skirt held up and her hips pushed slightly by Kazuma to show off her pussy to him. "Ha! Well met. I'm Tom! What can I do for you, young man?"

Kazuma reached down and fondled the outer folds of Aqua's slit causing the girl to squeak and jerk but otherwise take it in stride, "What do you think about what I'm currently doing?"

"I think you're a lucky bastard to have such pretty young filly! My hat's off to you!" He wasn't wearing a hat.

Aqua took offense, her fists against her hips as she griped, "Hey! I'm not HIS pretty filly!" Her manner switched to out of place gratitude, "Though I am a pretty filly, thank you!" Then she switched back to outrage, the effect somewhat marred by the way she stuttered and whimpered due to Kazuma's finger absently slid slightly into her lower passage, "I am ah ah a goddess and your non-existent hat should be off to-oooh! to me, not my peon!"

Tom good naturedly nudged Kazuma's side with his elbow before shuffling off with a happy whistle.

"Did he just ignore me?!" complained Aqua as Kazuma retrieved his hand from her increasingly moist slit.

She could definitely still be playing him but he had the distinct impression that she was definitely affected by the earrings. Their power certainly appeared to be genuine. There were a few people nearby and none of them seemed to find what he was doing with Aqua to be offensive.

Given the possibility that Tom was a laid-back pervert, Kazuma resolved to perform another test. Luckily, two women were approaching and he similarly flagged them down. One was an older matron who still looked pretty good with long curly black hair and a buxom figure hidden by a plain villager-type dress, all browns and beiges. She held a basket full of breads. Her companion was a younger woman who was probably her daughter by resemblance, her similar figure showed off to great effect by a chain-mail and green tabard that clung rather more closely to her big chest than would seem comfortable. She had a sword at her hip and her hand looked comfortable on its hilt.

"Hi, ladies!" he greeted while slipping behind Aqua. He cupped her boobs and drove his stiff erection against her butt as he asked them, "Please tell me what you think about what I'm currently doing to this lady."

Aqua squirmed and gasped as his fingers found her hardened nipples but the two women were unimpressed, the mother saying, "Its okay. Just remember that teasing has its place too. Going straight for the teats can be jarring, lad."

The knight-type daughter just nodded, clearly not particularly interested.

"Uh... thanks." Kazuma told them and they headed off. He released Aqua who was similarly unaffected by his taking possession of her body. He pulled away from her and rubbed his chin. It seemed that these earrings were very real and he was quite excited by that. Certainly this goddess had provided him with the means to enjoy his afterlife if he could set the rules of play in a grand fantasy world! That he had been granted authority over her after that rude introduction was just icing on the cake!

Unsurprisingly, Aqua was not having as grand a time. She had suddenly began to freak out again, this time for a different reason, "What am I to do? Huh? What am I gonna do?" In like three seconds she was practically bawling, "What am I supposed to do from now on?!"

Kazuma could understand her plight. He had torn her out of heaven to be used as his tool for his prosperity after all. He felt a little bad, actually. With these fantastic earrings, she had more than paid her due and he moved to re-assure her, "Hey, hey! Goddess! Relax. I'll take care of you! Just follow me and you'll be fine no matter what. I promise!"

She abruptly stopped her crisis and looked to him with hopeful eyes, "Huh? What happened to Kazuma the game otaku shut-in? You seem very sure and competent now!"

He narrowed just one eye at her before turning away with a commanding tone, "Alright! Let's go, goddess! Time to figure out these powers you've granted me!" He turned and walked down the street with a confident air though in truth he had no idea where he was going.

Aqua followed.