Know When to Fold 'Em

Mallory

Mallory leapt to her feet while Janet rolled off the side of the bed and hid, just as Michael made it through the door and into the living room. A beat later, he staggered into the bedroom, looking like a trailer park after being hit by a sex tornado: His hair completely disheveled, his suitcoat torn in multiple places, his shirt untucked and stained with lipstick, and his pants stained with god knows what else. And Jesus Christ, he’s still got a boner.

“Michael, what in the hell happened?!” Mallory asked, before her drunken brain could make the leap. “VIVIAN!?!”

“I don’t really know, things got pretty crazy down there.”

“They fucking must have! I repeat for emphasis: VIVIAN?!”

Michael tried to move towards the shower but each time he tried to step around Mallory, she moved to block his path. With his attention fixed on Mallory, Janet was able to army-crawl past their legs and slip out the door unnoticed.

“What do you want me to say? We were out at dinner, we started drinking, we started arguing, and the next thing I knew we were tearing at each other’s clothes.”

“That is such a bullshit excuse, Michael! I can’t believe you’d do that to Mom! Or to Rhonda! I don’t even like her and I still think that’s fucked up.”

“I told you, I don’t know! Something about this fucked up place and fucked up situation must have gotten to me.” Michael stopped himself before he said any more on that topic. He was clearly hiding something else. Worse that fucking Vivian?! “Can you please move so I can take a shower?” He tried to step past her, and as he brushed her she jumped back with a look of disgust.

“Ugh!! Now I need a damned shower too.” He closed the door to the bathroom, and lacking an obvious second washbasin, Mallory grabbed the highest-proof vodka on the drink cart and poured it over her hands. **** disinfects, right? I know Mom said that before. Mallory sniffed. Damnnit, now I want a drink. But no. No. I said I wasn’t gonna be a little damned schoolgirl and I meant it. She wiped her hands dry on the bar towel, guessing that it among all the items in the room was least likely to have sex fluids on it.

After giving Michael what felt like enough time, Mallory walked over and listened at the door to the bathroom. The shower was still running, so she began to pound on the door “You can’t hide in there! Come out here and explain yourself, coward!”

Insulting the Master -3

“Get a grip, Mallory!” Michael yelled back through the door. It wasn’t locked, none of the doors needed physical locks when magic kept people in and out, but Mallory was sure as fuck not opening it.

“Me?! You’re the one who fucked Vivian! You’ve been here less than a week and you’re already banging everything that moves?”

“Will you please have a drink and calm down?” Mallory thought she heard something else going on, and her innate need to know juicy gossip won out over the dregs of common sense. She leaned in and pressed her ear against the door. Once this close, the sound was unmistakable.

“Are you seriously jerking off in there!?! Michael!”

“Are you listening at the door? Fine! I fucked Vivian and I don’t know why! Something just came over me and it was all I could think about. And right now my dick is so hard I would do it all over again. Will you please just give me a few minutes?”

“So you can be a disgusting pervert and spank it while your step-daughter is in the next room!? You’d better not be thinking about me!” Mallory froze, a look of horror spread across her face as she realized her comment made him do just that.

“AHHHHHH!” They screamed in unison.

Insulting the Master -3
The Brain is the Largest Erogenous Zone +1

That was Mallory’s limit, she scrambled out to the balcony and dry-heaved off the side, counting on the fresh air to keep her from vomiting.

“Watch it up there, Don’t you dare!” Luciana yelled up from a chair on the contestants’ balcony a floor below.

Mallory shot her the bird and slumped down against the railing to collect herself. Her willpower to resist the vodka bottle on Michael’s drink cart was fading by the second.

The phone began ringing in the suite, but Michael hadn’t emerged from the bathroom. Mallory took it upon herself to answer it.

“Dickhead Residence.”

Insulting the Master -3

“Mallory!” Danica asked with worry in her voice. “Your score shot up then started free-falling, what are you doing up there?”

“Nothing!” Mallory chose to duck the implied question about the jump in her score. “Michael’s being gross. He’s locked himself in the bathroom like a horny teenage boy, and he clearly banged Vivian.”

“I know.”

“You do?!”

“I just said I’m looking at the scoreboard, Mal. And Vivian is acting weird too.”

“Can’t I just - ask him to let me leave?”

“No, the hotel won’t let you out the door, and if Michael tries to throw you out it could be a complete forfeit. Just let him do what he needs to do in there and keep your mouth shut so you stop losing points.”

“I’ve never been good at that,” Mallory admitted, maybe some of the gravity of her situation finally hitting home.

“The best time to learn was years ago, but the second-best time to learn is right fucking now.” Danica said, stunning Mallory with the sudden **** in her voice. “I’ve got an idea. You left your chips in your room?”

“Yeah…on my nightstand. Mom, what are you thinking?” Mallory heard the water shut off, Michael was going to be emerging soon.

“Don’t worry about me, worry about you. Have a drink or something until you calm down.”

“But, Mom-” Mallory started to explain why she didn’t want to take a drink, but the bathroom door opened and Mallory quickly hung up the receiver. Michael emerged into the living room in the Harem Hotel provided robe, which was doing little to conceal his still-prominent erection. Mallory’s eyes flitted to it unconsciously, but they both quickly turned their backs.

“Who were you talking to?” He asked.

“None of your business.”

“It’s my room.”

“But it’s still not your damned business.”

“Ugh.” Michael left her, heading into his bedroom and leaving Mallory alone in the living room for a few minutes.

This is so humiliating I want to peel off my own skin, Mallory thought. I don’t know how I’m supposed to keep from telling this creep how gross he is, when it's literally staring me in the face.

Fortunately for Mallory (or unfortunately from her perspective), Danica was already hustling downstairs, hoping to make a purchase that would solve that problem for her…

After a beat, Michael returned to the living room still in the robe, clearly engaging in no pretense about impressing his “date.” He had pulled the robe further over his erection but there was no real hiding it, making things quite uncomfortable for both of them. If anything, the robes for this place appeared to emphasize them. Once again, her mouth outran her brain.

Have some trouble jerking off that tiny prick? Is there anything you can handle? …Is what she wanted to say. Would have said. But that’s not what came out of her mouth.

“Having some trouble masturbating tonight? It’s quite a large package, I understand if it's hard to handle.” …is what did.

Michael stopped dead. “Now who’s the one being disgusting?” He shook his head. “I’ve had a long fucking day and now I gotta end it with this horseshit? Mallory, I’m just getting a drink from the bar there, then I’m going to bed, ok? You can do whatever you want, we just need to be civil for a single night.”

Mallory had a comeback ready, yet another in her barrage of insults.

More booze? Yeah, kill your dick with whiskey, you cheating bastard. The hypocrisy of her accusation ricocheted harmlessly off of Mallory’s own complete lack of self-reflection. “You’re having another drink? That’s impressive tolerance, you lady-killing stud.”

“What the hell has gotten into you?”

“I have no fucking idea.” I really don’t! As Mallory spoke, words appeared on the screen for the benefit of the audience but not the players:

Temporary boon purchased (24 Hours): If You Can’t Say Something Nice - Mallory cannot insult the Master. If she attempts to do so, she will instead speak a compliment of equal weight, on the same topic.

“Well whatever it is, it hasn’t cleared up your language.” He said, stopping to mix himself a drink.

My fucking language? Listen to you, you holier-than-thou asshole! “It sounds much more exhilarating coming from a handsome, eloquent man like you.” GAHHHHHH!

“The first nice words out of my daughter in years are sarcastic compliments about my dick. Christ, Mallory, give it a rest.”

“What do you mean, the first nice words?” Mallory demanded.

“Stop! Stop with the sarcasm!”

“I’m not being sarcastic, explain what you mean.” Mallory said. It seems as long as I’m not telling him he’s a fucking prick, I can say what I mean to say.

“You really want to know? Now? Fuck!” Michael flopped down on the couch with his drink, pulling a pillow over his boner so it would not be such a distraction. “Mallory, I was married to your mother for eight years-”

“Was?”

“Am? Was? Apparently I had another wife this whole time and you’re all gonna be my wives at the end, who knows any more?” He took a long drink. “In all those years, I can count the times you were pleasant to me on two hands.”

Good thing the number was low enough, otherwise he’d have to take his shoes off. “You must have an excellent memory.”

“Well, you remember things when they’re rare. I don’t know what’s gonna happen with Danica. I didn’t know before we came here and I sure as hell don’t know after Vivian. This may be my last night on Earth once she finds out.” He starts to continue but catches himself short.

“No, say what you were going to say.” Mallory insisted.

“Laying my cards on the table? You’re rude and cruel, and not enough people have the guts to say it to your face. Maybe they’re scared of you, maybe they want something from you. I tried my best to raise you into a decent person, to make you less like Greg, and in response you treated me like shit for years. Never even had the respect for me to call me your Father even after I raised you for nearly a decade. I swallowed my tongue because I knew you were still close with your dad, and because I didn’t want you to come between me and Danica.” Michael threw up his hands. “But I’m done walking on eggshells around you.”

Mallory’s face flushed with anger, and she spat right back.

Listen, you fucking prick, I gave you exactly as much respect as you deserved. “Michael, you thoughtful gentleman, I feel I’ve been selling you short.”

“Why do I bother?” Michael shook his head as he stood. “I’d rather you left.” He said, wincing as he realized he may have triggered the same compulsion to leave as struck Danica. Nothing happened. During the contest Mallory had a right to be there, for fairness’ sake. “Nevermind.” He headed into his bedroom and slid the doors shut. She could hear him fumbling for a lock, but finding none he cursed under his breath.

Mallory fumed. With him out of the room, she might have been able to speak her true feelings, but what was the point then? Being **** to compliment his dick was the most humiliating thing yet, and she’d been on a real run of them. She didn’t want to drink the suite’s ****, but she’d be more than comfortable smashing the shit out of the bottles.

But, she stayed her hand. This was his room. Smashing things might cost her points, and she couldn’t afford to go negative. Not that she’d want to strip off on stage like her mom did, but Mallory already earned those points - there was no duplicating it. And the points for sleeping with Janet, and that couldn’t be repeated either. Shit, from here on out the only points to be had outside the challenges are from strangers… Or Michael. Or Mom. She gently set down the glass decanter of whiskey and took a minute to stop and think. Which was longer than drunken Mallory was used to stopping or thinking.

I need to keep my cool. Just until the morning, then I can go fuck something else up. She pulled the small pill from her bra, the concentrated relaxation that Janet had given her. Mallory had no fear of mind-altering ****, that was for certain. But she couldn’t totally shake the image of her mother calmly accepting her doom. Still, if Danica could accept that, this pill would certainly get Mallory through one uncomfortable night with her asshole stepdad.

“Fuck it,” She said, popping the pill and taking one slug off an open bottle of wine to wash it down.

Mallory didn’t have the pill bottle handy, not that she would have read it anyway, but at least she might have seen the warning on the side. Big, bold letters reading that the pills may interact in unexpected ways with other elements of the Hotel’s magic. Mallory was “drunk,” inhibiting her judgment as one would expect, but that was entirely due to the manipulations made to her brain and not ****. When the Fukitol collided with that jumbled mess of magically-manipulated emotion, all of Mallory’s anger washed away like a wave receding to the sea. But what that left was the more amoral version of the woman, even more convinced of her own wisdom even as she grew further from it.

And that Mallory latched onto a very bad idea…

An hour later, she softly slid open the doors to Michael’s bedroom. The shutters were drawn in his room, naturally, but the sunlight from the bizarro ‘night’ softly illuminated his sleeping form. Mallory slipped inside and drew the doors nearly closed behind her, leaving a small crack so she could see what she was doing. The Editor, watching this live, cheekily added some sneaky theme music for the viewers at home.

I’ve lost a lot of points tonight, I need to stay alive in this game if I’m going to have a chance at winning the wish. Mom’s finally gotten going but she’s got so many penalties that she just can’t keep up with bitches like Vivian. Janet? Hopeless. The only points she can get are from me.

Mallory recalled what Danica had said about the gift baskets after her evening, and gently opened the wrapping on the one marked as Ruby’s. Inside, just as Danica had said there would be, was a bottle of lubricant. She took it, trying not to think about what she was about to do. I need those points. For all of us.

Michael lay on his back, thankfully, under a light blanket given the sunshine and heat of the desert outside. His chest rose and fell in steady but deep breaths, and he slept peacefully. Resisting the urge to smother his face with a pillow, Mallory crept to the edge of the bed and pulled back the sheet, revealing his boxers and his still-raging erection.

Imagine this is someone else… Anyone else. Mallory thought about Trent again, but without Janet the image didn’t work for her. Keep going. Mallory thought about the dealer from earlier that night, Damien. Yeah he’s hot but… Mallory disregarded that. If she mentally associated him with what she was about to do, she wouldn’t be able to look him in the face. And Mallory thought she might need to see him up closer sooner rather than later. Someone hot that I don’t know… She fixated on the mental image of Ryan Gosling until the combination of the darkness and her dual-intoxication made him take on those features. Keep my eyes down here. This is Ryan. No one else.

Mallory slid onto the bed next to him, slowly edging his boxers down his thighs as tentatively as if she was defusing a bomb. Mallory froze as Michael snorted a little and shifted his weight once his cock popped free. But again he settled into his regular breathing, not waking up.

Here goes nothing.

Mallory squirted some of the lubricant into her palms, rubbing her hands together to spread it and warm it up.

This is for you, Ryan. Mallory focused on her fantasy, trying very, very hard to ignore her reality. She grasped Michael’s shaft with her right hand. It’s just a dick, every guy’s got one. This one isn’t half-bad, actually. Mallory thought, then immediately banished that thought. Once the sensations started to feel familiar, the inherent wrongness of the situation began to fade.

She gave it a short stroke. It didn’t go off. She did it again. Same result. I can do this. She cupped Michael’s balls with the other hand as she gradually increased up the pace. All of this was a delicate balancing act. She had to increase the pressure to get him off, without waking him up in the process. And she needed to leave enough time to clean up before morning. Mallory hadn’t really thought far enough ahead about how she’d explain her second jump in points, but leaving him covered in lube would certainly give the game away.

Mallory wasn’t accustomed to giving handjobs. They felt like more of a teenager’s move, and she was slightly out of practice. One of the Cosmo articles Janet had mocked came to mind, and she could recall at least three of their “Top 10 Tips to Please Your Man.” Ha! Told you they’d come in handy. She began to corkscrew her hand down the shaft with each stroke, running her thumb up under the head of his penis with each pass. Michael groaned, but his eyes stayed closed.

Mallory leaned over. I’ve gotta whisper something, keep him dreaming. She thought. Another bad idea, but that boulder was rolling rapidly downhill. “You’re home with…” She caught herself before she said “Mom,” but she surely wasn’t about to narrate a sex fantasy about Danica. “With…” Not Ronnie either, Mallory still didn’t trust her. Would this make him fall even harder for her? Couldn’t risk it. “With Janet.” Mallory finally said, and it weirdly began to flow once she did.

“You’re home with Janet,” Mallory said, dropping her voice to what she thought was a seductive timbre. “She’s sitting in your lap in your living room. Her red hair flows down her shoulders and covers her bare boobs.” Michael groaned again, Mallory could have sworn she saw him mouth Janet’s name in the darkness. “She slowly grinds her ass onto you, getting you so, so hot.” Michael’s breathing was growing quicker. Damn, I might be good at this. Mallory thought. The scenario kept going. “She tells you how much she’s been thirsting for you, Michael. She needs to feel you. Inside her. Tonight.”

“Yes…” Michael said in his sleep. No question about it, she was pretty good at this. His cock grew stiffer as her stimulations brought him closer. Mallory began stroking his balls with the tips of her fingers as she worked his dick. Not long now…

She began to feel the telltale signs of an impending climax, the twitching, the tension in his hips, the precum slickening her fingers. And just then, she had yet another bad idea.

If I just put my mouth on it, just for a second, won’t that count as a blowjob? Mallory had no way of knowing exactly how points were calculated for this game, but she definitely did not intend to be in this position enough to experiment. If she could score significantly more just for a second…

But the decision had to be made fast, and Mallory went for it.

As she felt the first twitches of his climax, Mallory suddenly leaned forward and wrapped her lips around the tip. She tasted the raspberry-flavored lube as it mixed with the taste of ejaculate. How does Michael have so much still! No, this is Ryan’s cum, Ryan’s-

“Mal!?” Her heart stopped. His heart stopped. The two of them locked eyes in the dark, both sets as large as dinner plates. Fuck! Fuck! She swallowed reflexively. He’s gonna be pissed, how can I calm him… Wait…

“Hi… Dad.”

After Consultation, The Scorekeeper decrees:
Handjob +6
Keep it in the Family +4
Just a Taste +1

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