Kinktober 14: End Station

Bzzzt!

“Ow.” The light flashed on in the tunnel, as the screwdriver he had stuck in the maintenance chute fell to the ground. With the insulation worn off the handles, it was only a matter of time before he got shocked. The sharp pain subsided quickly, leaving a tingling sensation in his hand as he found it difficult to move his fingers. That too vanished in time.

He picked the screwdriver from the ground and slipped it into his toolbox, rubbing the knuckles of his fingers against his grey uniform, on which his serial number was stamped across his chest with big, sterile black letters.

The lighting was working again at least. The subway would not be without illumination for another day.

He packed his tools, and climbed a ladder to the platform. On the featureless lane of concrete awaited a crowd of men and women in the same grey uniforms and the same shaved head with the same stitched scar at the left temple, standing in perfect squares facing the tunnel together, and with the same blank expression that conveyed no emotions. Not even boredom.

They all looked just like each other, just like he looked like them. Just like everyone else had looked since the System was founded.

As he approached one of the squares, the people of which it was composed shifted places to form a rectangle that approximated a square, so he could fit into the crowd.

After some time passed, the cars of the subway train zoomed by, one after another, as sparks flew off from the ceiling, vanishing before they could land. An eerie screech reverberated across the platform before the cars slowed down and eventually stopped. One after another, the men and women entered their assigned cars, leaving the line in a zigzag pattern. As he waited for his turn, his eyes fell on someone from the thinning crowd.

Someone who was not wearing grey.

This short, young woman of Asian descent with a bunny-hairpin in the mob of black hair was in fact wearing every colour except for grey. The T-shirt of technicolor madness clung to her form. The rainbow explosion was wild and vibrant enough to send a **** person into an epileptic fit.

He looked around confused. More concerning than this young lady was that no one but him appeared to take note of her at all, simply staring towards the train and stepping on to their respective cars in order. His eyes met hers, and her expression lit up in panic. She appeared more startled by the same indistinct person that can be seen anywhere spotting her, than he could ever be seeing her. She ran away, up the stairways to the surface, leaving him with the identical grey people in the grey and beige platform.

Should he go after?

He realised that people were waiting behind him. It was his turn to go in, yet he hadn’t moved. He had to make a decision; going after the first colourful person he had seen in his life, or go where he was supposed to go.

He stepped on to the train and held onto the railing.

What was he thinking?

He had a purpose. A function. He fit into the System like a finger in a glove. Like a gear in clockwork. There was meaning in the fact he, like everyone else, had a job that he was born and raised to do. How could he even consider throwing all of that away for someone he didn’t even know?

Maybe that was the point. Everything in this city had a purpose, but that was someone whose purpose he didn’t know. The compulsion to seek out something because it is unknown… What kind of thought was that?

After some time passed, he climbed out to his station and back to the surface. The people on the cramped streets between the solid concrete walls painted beige that towered over them might as well have been moved by conveyor belt the way they walked uniformly, each step reaching the pearly white ceramic tiles on the ground simultaneously. The walls that trapped the people in the streets were not those of the buildings, as the buildings had exterior walls made of glass and iron bars, but of the foundations on which the buildings stood, high over the streets on which fluorescent lighting and cameras were suspended. Like this the streets of the System formed labyrinths between the equally large buildings making up the equally large blocks all over the city in a neat pattern of perfectly square cells.

He followed the line of people on the left side of the street, the right side going the other way. When the line passed by the Office of Public Repairs and Maintenance, he slipped to the stairs leading to the entrance. This was one of the two buildings he visited every day of his life, the other being his cell at home.

On the way into the Office, his gaze traced downwards for a moment, and he spotted a blade of grass protruding from between two concrete slabs. Something odd happened to his face when he saw that. He felt the muscles around his mouth twitching, locking into an awkward contraction. What was happening? Was he damaged when he was shocked from the wiring?

Did he need to see a medic?

If he did, then he would have to go later. He had a report to write, and a meeting with his supervisor to attend. Maintaining his health was of course an integral responsibility for him, but he has to put the System before his own well being. The System was, after all, far more important than he could ever be. If he betrayed it for his own selfish pursuits, what would that make him?

“That would be akin to forsaking my purpose.” He said to the man behind him in the line to the protein gruel dispenser in the dining hall, “Yes. That would be akin to forsaking the purpose of everyone in the System.”

The man wearing overalls with the serial number TR-6189 stamped on the chest, did not respond. He had not been asked a question, nor uttered a statement in need of correction, so there was no need to reply. Instead TR simply moved when the line moved, waiting to be distributed bidaily nutrients.

“I checked the medication registry for known types of damage and how to recognize them, but there was nothing there which matched my condition. Is it possible my issues have nothing to do with the shock?”

“Yes.” TR said as he took the plate off of his tray and placed it before the gruel dispenser.

“Or… Maybe this is all in my head. My attention shifts to anything that is possibly strange because I am looking for signs of damage. Do you think that is possible?” He said as TR got his white and beige pill, and a bottle of water with a hexagonal cross section.

“Yes.” TR headed towards the bleak, grey tables within the confines of the beige dining area.

“But… I saw her so clearly.” He got his own portion of the gruel, and followed TR. “Colours like those can not be mistaken. How can I see something so vividly that was all imagined?”

TR did not reply. In want of an accurate answer, no answer was provided at all.

Come to think of it, he kept speaking to TR more than was warranted. There was no reason to speak to anyone who was not an authority on this subject, and yet he felt compelled to utter these words when TR was around. Not one of the four dozen indistinct persons around them said a word, apart from him.

“Is it not true that we have worked together since we finished processing?” He and TR sat themselves down at one of the grey tables that extend throughout the length of the hall.

“Yes.” TR said.

“Did we not meet for the first time during processing? When our aptitude and capacity for loyalty was tested?”

“Yes.”

“Do you remember when they implanted our chips?”

“No.”

“Of course not. We were under anaesthesia then…” For a moment his breathing turned odd. His exhale became like a series of consecutive coughs, but if coughs were something you sang.

He covered his mouth with an expression of worry.

He was not fine. Not at all. Something was happening with him, and he did not know if he was going to live until tomorrow. He looked at his reflection in the window, and for a moment he did not see someone indistinct from everyone else in the system looking back. He saw… Himself.

Looking past his reflection, outside on the street, he saw the woman from before walking along the crowd as if she wasn’t wearing all the colours of a circus at once.

“I am sorry.” He leapt off his chair and ran off, heading outside. Now he needed answers, and he had a feeling if anyone could give him answers, it would be her.

The bright, blueish light that shone in the faces of the many security counsellors sitting in front of the many monitors split the darkness in the security room of Central.

These men and women were specially selected for their exceptional aptitude and loyalty to the ideals of the System required to serve the System. For that reason, they were permitted higher brain functions in order to identify errors.

One of the counsellors stopped flipping between the feeds of the various cameras around the System, as he spotted something off.

“Chief Counsellor.” The counsellor said, “We have an anomaly.”

A curvy blonde woman in a white, low-cut military dress carrying a swagger stick between her hands turned to face the counsellor.

“Give me data.” The Chief Counsellor said, “Who is that?”

“Designation BD-9911, Chief Counsellor.” The counsellor read the data as he paused the feed, tapping at the grimacing man in overalls, “As you can see, something is happening to this man’s face.”

The Chief Counsellor froze, “...That is not possible. What is his vocation, counsellor?”

“He works as an electrician in Repair and Maintenance, Chief Counsellor.”

“Show me inside.”

The monitor changed to display the dining area in the office, where the man was grimacing and yelling something in a strange manner.

The Chief Counsellor bent her riding crop in frustration, “Just as I feared. We have a defect. Call the Office to send him over right now. There should still be time to fix him.”

“Yes, Chief… “ The counsellor could only watch as BD-9911 stood up and left, “Chief Counsellor… He is gone.”

SNAP! The riding crop broke in the middle.

“WHAT!? What do you mean he is gone?”

“I… I have no idea what to tell you, Chief Counsellor. He is gone!” The counsellor ran his fingers across the keyboard.

“Then find him! I want him at my feet right now!” The Chief Counsellor yelled.

“Y-yes, Chief Counsellor.” The counsellor answered meekly.

This was most upsetting to the Chief Counsellor. That man was not under the control of his implant. If he were to realise what has happened, he would have to choose what the System meant to him. A choice no man should have to make.

And if he chooses incorrectly, then the only recourse left is to dispose of him.

“Wait!” BD-9911 yelled at the young lady in a colourful shirt, as she turned to look at him. She ran down the empty street, and he pursued her. She slid down the railing of the stairs down to the subway, but stopped and turned to face him when she got to the bottom.

“Wait!” BD-9911 yelled exasperated, “Who are you?”

“Pleasure to make your acquaintance.” She said in a gingerly tone, “Name’s Im Kyung-Hi! And who might you be?”

As he arrived in front of her, he took a moment staring at her with astonished eyes while he caught his breath, “Name? What is that?”

“Uh, what do they call you, you know? How do they know they are talking to you? How do they know they are talking about you when they’re talking about you? You know… Your name!”

“My… My designation is BD-9911…” He said.

“Ah, cool! Can I call you Buddy?”

“Buddy?” He stared at her.

“Yeah, Buddy! That sounds like a proper name, doesn’t it? So how can I help you, Buddy?”

“No one can see you…”

“You can see me, right?”

“Y-yes… But that is… I… do not know why. I do not understand anything about what is happening to me…”

Im tapped his temple, where his scar was, “Your implant. It’s supposed to prevent you from experiencing thoughts not permitted by this here city. Part of it is restricting access to things that may excite you.” She pulled on the fabric of her shirt to make a point, “Talk about hiding in plain sight.”

As realisation dawned on BD-9911, he opened his mouth but struggled to speak. Finally he managed to utter, “No… No, you.. You can not mean that… This is not possible… Are you saying I… My implant is not working?”

Im shook her head, “I most certainly am not. That implant in your head only ever did one thing right, and that was breaking. Probably due to a short-circuit.”

That shock was the worst thing to happen in BD-991’s life.

“What’s broken are the people around you… What’s broken is this whole damn city.”

BD-9911 could not believe what he was hearing. The System, which had granted him purpose and security all his life… Was broken? “Are you saying the implant was hurting me?”

“Hurting is putting it mildly, Buddy.” The colourful woman said, “They took away what makes you… You! Your individuality. Your own colour. But now… Now you are finally free.”

“Free? No, but… I keep getting these cramps in my face…”

Im nodded, “Uh-huh. That’s called smiling. And it’s a good thing. It’s what you do when you feel good.”

“Yeah, but those strange noises I make when I breathe… That can not possibly be a good thing.”

“Yes, it can. Cause that’s laughter. That is something people do when they hear something wrong, but wrong in the right way! Come on, Buddy! Wasn’t it something you really enjoyed?”

BD-9911 just looked astonished at the younger woman. The laughter, as she called it, came to him so abruptly that his only reaction to it was terror. It hadn’t occurred to him that this was something he enjoyed, but… He really did. These were things his body was able to do? These were things his mind was able to think and feel?

“What should I do?” BD-9911 asked.

Im shrugged, “Can’t really say what you should or shouldn’t do. That’s kinda the point of being free. What you have to do now, though, is make a choice. Cause sooner or later they ‘ll find out what happened, and when they do they will ask you to turn yourself in, so they can fix your implant. If you do, then you will return to how things have always been for you… How it’s been for everyone; dedicating your life to the System. If you refuse, then you can no longer stay here. You need to get to the end station, where the gates to the city are. There you will be able to go outside.”

“But there is no outside the System.” BD-9911 said, “That is why this System was constructed after the Purge Wars. As a final refuge for the last remaining humans. A project to preserve the remnants of civilization..”

“Yeah, the thing is… When you destroy something, that leaves room for something else to take its place. I know your world has been through a lot, Buddy. Your ancestors got angry… Spiteful… Contemptful… Frightened… Mad with grief… Emotions ruled their actions, and so destruction was unleashed over Earth’s surface. A fury that left but a few living, and no one left living well. The surface of the world was turned into an inhospitable hellhole. By some miracle, a sliver of humanity survived. When they rebuilt society, they vowed not to make that same mistake again. Humans would no longer be ruled by emotions, because emotion was something of which they would be bereft.”

“I see that now.” BD-9911 looked up at the sky from the top of the stairwell, “That was the price we had to pay for peace… But was the price worth it? What is the meaning of saving humanity, so that humans can live only like machines?”

A loud screeching reverberated throughout the tunnel as a train arrived at the platform, “Yeah, see… That’s the decision you have to make. Right now in fact, Buddy.”

“BD-9911!” From the top of the stairwell, a bulky man in black clothes and a helmet over a gasmask appeared, pointing at BD-9911 with hand covered in leather glove, “You are to accompany me back to Central this instance.”

BD-9911 looked at the doors to the subway opening, then back to the masked man, and back to where he last saw Im. She was no longer there.

The System was all he knew, and he loved it for the purpose it gave him. But this was his chance to be something unique. Something he chose for himself.

But he had no idea what he would leave the System for. What if he ended up regretting his choice?

Regret… That was one of the emotions he would not be able to feel if he stayed, regardless if it was the right choice or not.

Buddy ran towards the train as fast as he could.

“Halt!” The man in black raised his hand, “This is your last warning!”

Buddy grabbed the doors before they could close and slid into the car. The man in black arrived by the doors just in time to see them close, and the train sped away, leaving him in the distance.

“Attention!” A deep, crispy voice mixed with static from speakers on the ceiling of the car announced, “A defective unit has been spotted and is on the loose in public. Designation BD-9911. Any information relevant to this unit shall be reported to the nearest counsellor immediately.”

Buddy faced the wall so that no one could see the number on his chest. He simply held onto the railing inconspicuously, waiting until the very last station.

At each stop, the people swarmed in and out of the car, and although the train never left

a station with the exact same people, there was never anything other than a swarm of grey men and women with shaved heads. The only thing that ever really changed were the numbers on their overalls.

The trip felt like it would never end. Hours must have passed, but Buddy knew they were getting closer when the crowd began to thin out after each stop.

“Next stop, End Station. All passengers must exit.” The announcer cried through the speakers. Buddy was the only one left in the car at this point, and he snuck out to the location of the gates.

When he climbed out from the subway, Buddy found the least populated part of the System. It was also the part of the System most thoroughly controlled and restricted by Central. There was no way he would go by unnoticed… Unless…

Buddy’s eyes fell on a bucket of black paint. He knew that the Office of Repair and Maintenance was operating here today, and this could not be more convenient for him. He dipped his fingers in the paint and turned the double-ones in his serial number into double-sevens.

He walked out into the streets where the men in black patrolled the area vigilantly, but did not recognize him. He could see the Gates in the distance, a tall tower with a hexagonal cross section extending from the exterior walls of the System, on the other side of which could be seen the crooked branches of barren trees… Beyond those, however, Buddy could for the first time ever notice green hills in the distance.

In order to exit the System, Buddy would need to enter the Gates, climb all the way to the top, and climb down the stairs before leaving at the other side of the walls. No time to lose. Buddy had already made his choice. Only **** awaited him if they caught him now.

The Chief Counsellor paced back and forth from her vantage point in the Gate. Not only had they failed to locate the traitor, but now it had become abundantly clear he intended to leave the System.

But there was good news too. It meant they knew exactly where to catch him, and he could not possibly pass by unnoticed. However, she would not be doing her job unless she was uneasy in situations like these. Her eyes fell on some of the workers below. One of them had black paint on his fingers…

“Hmmm,” The Chief Counsellor pondered as she produced her radio and held it against her ear, “Central, Chief Counsellor here. Give me the vocation of a BD-9977…”

The doors to the hexagonal tower parted when Buddy approached, and he found himself before a crowd of men and women in grey uniforms standing like statues towards the supervisor, giving instructions to Buddy’s former colleagues. They moved to their respective positions the moment their work had been assigned.

Buddy entered the stairwell, looking up at the staircase spiralling up into a single, converging point at the top. It was going to be quite a climb, but he would be a free man once he put his foot on the ground. From there no one would be able to follow him. No one was allowed to leave the System.

On his way up, Buddy passed a couple of his former colleagues, including TR-6189 who was seated behind a control panel. His job was making sure the windows opened and closed as the required panels were replaced and repaired. Buddy himself had been assigned that task a few times in the past.

Finally he reached the top. From there he could see the barren wastelands surrounding the System had a limited reach, vanishing before the verdant stretches of pine forests that in and of themselves subsided on the way up the mountain peaks in the far distance, their tops covered by layers of snow. He saw clear water the size of three city blocks within the forests. In the System, drinkable water was as precious as jewels, and over there you could basically drink in it.

The speakers above rustled before a deep voice spoke through static, “Attention! A unit with designation BD-9977 is to be seized on sight. Do not hesitate. Use **** if necessary. It is believed he is heading towards the top of the Gate. This announcement applies to designation BD-9911 as well.”

So they saw through his ploy… He could already hear them coming up the stairs he had just climbed. Buddy wasted no time bolting down the stairs as fast as he could. The men in black were in hot pursuit. He could hear the footsteps behind him and above him. How far behind him were they? Were they going to catch him? If so, when?

Buddy looked behind himself as he ran, and tripped over his own feet and fell to the panel. As he scrambled to get up, he found himself looking up at the curvy body of the Chief Counsellor surrounded by men in black, a cruel smile adorning her face as she looked down.

“Unit BD-9911, I presume.” She said as he backed away until his back was against the windows. He met her with defiant eyes.

“My name is Buddy.” He said through exasperated breaths.

“Oh, how far you have fallen. We certainly are fortunate we got to you before you could do any real damage. At this point there is no way even our implant can fix your defect. You need to be obliterated, before your treacherous thoughts spread among the unassuming masses.”

“This is wrong!” Buddy yelled, “Everyone should get to choose if they want to live like this! What their own purpose is!”

“Our purposes are given to us according to our aptitudes, and according to the needs of the System. The only choice is between that, and destruction. And you, my gentle ‘Buddy…’ Has chosen destruction.”

The men in black unsheathed long, pointy spikes and aimed them towards Buddy.

He turned away from them, looking out through the wasteland before him. He was just one floor down, and the ground looked muddy and moist. If he fell down, from there, he could possibly make it. In desperation he slammed his fists against the glass, over and over. It was far too strong though. One man, regardless of his determination, regardless of how much he desired freedom, was still just one man. He was half an inch away from freedom, but that half inch was enough to put a stop to him. Tears ran down his cheeks as he pressed his trembling hands against the glass, clenching his teeth and sulking.

“UUAAH-AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!”

The screen of glass rose up, slowly departing from its socket on the floor. His frustration gave way for confusion, before a smile grew on his face. The men in black grabbed at Buddy, but with the strength of many men he pulled himself free, threw himself to the ground and crawled out the window…

After a moment of falling, Buddy was sliding and tumbling down a muddy incline, before splashing face first into a puddle of grimy water. The cool mud soaked into his clothes and trickled down his skin.

It felt like freedom.

Hours must have passed, just lying on the ground looking up at the open sky. He was far too exhausted, both emotionally and physically, to move from his spot. He kept wondering if all that had been a dream. All this time, freedom had seemed so distant, and **** so imminent. He closed his eyes, wondering if the next time he opened them he would find himself back in the System, facing his own execution. He opened his eyes, but still found the layers of cloud creeping across the sky above him.

He groaned in pain as he dizzily rose to his feet on trembling legs. They were not following him.

After all, no one left the System.

No one except him.

He made his way past the wastelands. In the distance he saw spots of blue sky breaking out from beyond the clouds of smog perpetually above the System.

He climbed a hill made of grass and sat down, looking over the towering grey settlement he had once called a home.

A shadow crept up on Buddy from behind, and as he looked over his shoulder he saw Im making her way up from the other side, sitting down next to him.

“Nice work.” Im said as she leaned back and lied down, “Gotta say I’m impressed.”

“Did you open the window for me?” Buddy asked.

“Nah… Don’t take this the wrong way, but this was your journey to take. My role was to point you in the right direction.”

“Then who…” Buddy halted himself in his tracks, “...No. It wasn’t TR, was it?”

“Ehehe… Looks like your little upheaval had a deep impact on someone. Congratulations, Buddy. You made your first friend.”

Buddy turned towards Im with a shocked expression, “Will I ever see him again?”

“That isn’t up to me, Buddy. And this time, it’s not up to you either. I’m afraid now it’s your turn to wait and hope.”

“But I still don’t know what to do.”

“Yeah, that’s the problem with freedom. It sorta comes with responsibilities as well. You have to find your own purpose and determine your own fate… But, hey! If you’re confused, at least you’re in good company.”

“Im… Earlier you said ‘ÿour world’ to me. Does that mean this world isn’t yours”?

“No. No it’s not. Not yet anyway. I’m what they call a Traveller. Long story short, I came here from a time long ago. Long before even the Purge Wars.”

“Ah…” Buddy wished this was the most exceptional thing about her, but compared to everything else this seemed normal, “Did you come here looking for me?”

“I was looking for… Something.” Im said, “I had no idea what, but I knew that I would find a Butterfly Moment here.”

“A Butterfly… Some kind of animal right?”

“Something like that, yeah. A very small animal, but in the right time and the right place, its fluttering can cause a hurricane on the other side of the world. Most of the time though, the ‘what could have beens’ have an uncanny resemblance to each other. What difference may be between them soon vanishes, as they tend to converge into what would have happened anyway. But if you appear at the right time, and the right place, though…”

“...You could make a difference.” Buddy said, “Was that why you came here from the past?”

“Hey, you’re starting to get this whole being a human thing already! Yeah, Buddy. I sought out these Butterfly Moments, so that when I’m gone I will have mattered.”

“You’re a bit young to be thinking about what will happen when you’re gone, aren’t you?” Buddy laughed, but Im just stared up at the setting sun in the horizon.

“There are other humans here. Beyond the System. I don’t know if they will accept you or not, but maybe they will help you find what you’re looking for. Whatever that is.”

“You’re going to leave now?” Buddy asked.

“I have to, Buddy. It’s been nice knowing you, but…”

Buddy hugged the lithe frame of the young woman, staining her colourful shirt with the mud on his clothes, but Im hugged him back.

“Thank you. Thank you for everything.”

Im smiled warmly, “Any time, Buddy.”