Keeping things clear.

“Did I royally fuck up?” I asked Thomas that very next day during the first recess. We were on the stairs leading up to the school’s rooftop. Alone.

“I wouldn’t say so,” the big man answered, rubbing his chin. “But I still think you should bring it up to the girls anyway. Better safe than sorry, and boy you’ll be sorry if you keep this to yourself.”

I nodded. “That was always the plan.”

After I accepted Noelle’s invitation to a fighting game event next Sunday, my mind kept running circles over the idea. Mainly, whether or not it was right of me to accept or not. After all, it would just be the two of us. Well, the two of us in a place full of other people, but you get what I mean. On top of that, if what Thomas believed was right, I had accepted the invitation of a girl who… may have a crush on me. And as you may know, I have three girlfriends.

I had a hard time sleeping that night.

“Sometimes I think I’m jealous of you,” Thomas said, “but at times like these, I’m glad I’m not in your shoes.”

“I’m not sure I like having a social life anymore.”

“Suck it up. Be a man and talk to the girls. Own up to your actions and take responsibility.”

“That’s all really easy to say for a man who’s single.”

Thomas laughed. “It has to have SOME perks, right?”

I sighed. “If the girls seem upset about it, I’ll tell Noelle something came up and I can’t go. I don’t like it, but it is what it is. However… Say that they don’t mind. What should I do?”

Thomas made an exaggerated head-tilt. “Go to the event. What else?”

“Not what I meant! What I’m saying is… I get the feeling it’s gonna be awkward.”

“Oh, for sure.”

“What should I do?”

“I dunno. You’re the ladies’ man.”

“You’re a real help.”

Thomas bowed. “Anytime.”

“You suck.”

Thomas grinned. “Payback for your teasing whenever I go to the coffee shop.”

“Maria asked me about you the other day.”

His eyes widened and his jaw half-hung. “D-Did she? What did she… ask?”

“I’m not telling you.”

With that, I started making my way down the stairs.

“You always need to have the last word, don’t you?” Thomas grumbled, following.

I went to the girls that second recess. No point in postponing it, no matter how nervous it made me. It was worrying to think that it might upset them, not to mention I felt awful about it. It could also make them angry, which was just as bad.

I worried that they would eventually get tired of me, that they’d leave me for someone else one day. That feeling was going away over time, the trust I had in them growing every day, bit by bit. The last thing I wanted was to give them those same worries.

We talked in an empty hallway on the third floor, in an area where clubrooms were. No one would be coming here at this time.

“Why so nervous?” Sarah asked me. “You look like you were caught doing something wrong.”

“What is it?” Grace asked.

“...Yesterday, Isabelle, Alice, Noelle and I were studying at my house,” I began. “When we were done, Noelle… invited me to go to a fighting game tournament with her this Sunday.”

They all blinked in surprise.

“Noelle asked you out on a date?” Mila asked.

“What? No!” I answered immediately. “She was asking her friends if they’d go with her. When both said they couldn't, my sister suggested I go with her.”

“Did you… Did you give her an answer?” Grace asked.

I nodded while rubbing the back of my neck. “I said yes, but if you’re not okay with it, I can tell her something else came up.”

“Why wouldn’t we be okay with it?” Grace asked.

Sarah grinned. “Don’t tell me you’re looking for an excuse to get out of it, Oliver. I thought you were past that sort of stuff.”

“That’s not it! I’m actually curious about what an event like this is like. But I thought…”

“Oliver, it’s fine.” Mila said, giggling. “Go. Have fun. It’s not like we think you’ll get stolen from us.”

I grimaced. “Are you sure? The last thing I want is make you uncomfortable.”

Grace chuckled. “I’d say this goes in the opposite direction, actually.”

The opposite direction?

“You want to get used to getting along with other people, right?” Sarah asked. “Then go.”

My nerves and guilt slowly began to drift away. I could sense this really wasn’t making them uncomfortable, and that they were earnestly encouraging me to take these steps to grow.

I don’t deserve these girls. And yet I couldn’t shake off the odd feeling that… that wasn’t the whole story.

“Noelle, huh?” Mila said. “She’s always been shy, but she used to be even more reserved.”

“Hm? I thought you didn’t know her well.”

“We were in the same class during our sophomore year. We worked on some group projects together. We weren’t close, but we got along well.” Mila grimaced. “She was just… It was boring talking to her.”

“Boring?” I asked, feeling a slight sting in my chest.

“It’s… kind of shameful to admit, but I had a hard time talking to people who didn’t share my interests. Whenever we spoke, she would tell me things that I just couldn’t pay attention to. I don’t even remember what she used to say.”

I felt my own chest tightening up. “That’s…”

“Awful,” Grace said, finishing my sentence. “Oliver, you’re free to ignore Mila from now on.”

Sarah nodded. “Give her a taste of her own medicine.”

“W-Wait! That was back then! Back then! I’ve changed!”

The girls had a hearty laugh, and while I chuckled along, I couldn’t help but sympathize and wonder. Did Noelle go through stuff similar to what I experienced? How did she handle it?

I was growing more curious.

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