Keep talking to your online mother

“you know, maybe I should just fuck it and move there,” you proceed to type. “I have my savings, and nothing is stopping me but time.”

“well, I won't pressure you, but just know that I'm here for you, no matter your decision, ok?” she responds.

You start multitasking—doing research—while you continue to chat about other things. What is it going to take to move to an entirely different country? How much is it going to cost? Is it really feasible?

“hey, mom,” you say after an hour. “if you're really serious, it looks like I have enough money to fly there and pay for residency... it's just going to take some time. are you sure you're ok with this?”

“of course! I love you, and I'll do my best to make sure you're taken care of,” she replies.

“ok. I'm going to start the process, then. looks like it'll take several months to go through, but if you're willing to wait...”

“yes, yes!” she exclaims. “I'll wait as long as it takes. no worries.”

“thanks, mom,” you breathe a sigh of relief. You know deep down that she would do anything to help you. What a difference from your real parents—your birth mother was not even in the picture anymore.

You continue chatting for a while, and before you know it, it is after 11 PM. You know you have to work the next day, so you decide to say goodnight. You share your appreciation once more before putting your computer to sleep.

After a long day, your bed feels like heaven. Your body aches slightly from all the yard work and household chores, but you hardly notice it as your mind starts drifting to thoughts of moving. What is it going to be like? How easy is it going to be to find a job again? How is living with someone else going to feel?

You shake your head and sigh. You need something else to keep your mind occupied. Stressing about the future is not going to help anything, you think to yourself. You grab your phone and doomscroll for a bit, but you are still wide awake. You know a surefire way to get yourself to sleep, but you know you need to get rest soon...