Kazuma

Story 1 (Copycat Kazumas)

Kazuma had started to notice something around the tavern.

At this point it was hard to not notice, but this had been building for days now.

It had started small. A certain uptick of green capes. Haircuts becoming noticeably scruffier. Swords that used to tower on barbarians were now discarded for simple short swords. He’d even seen some men in full blown tracksuits.

Then there were the stories being shared over a friendly drink. “Then I froze the water spell to make the dragon slip around!” “The tortured knight had no clue I could steal his sword and bash him on the head with it!” “I’ve got a reviver, a tank, and I’ve convinced my wizard friend to learn explosion magic, so I can sit back and enjoy all the rewards~”

Kazuma tried to keep it cool. In some ways this was flattering, in other ways it was super insulting, but it wasn’t until one hulk of a man interrupted a meal with his party did the adventurer truly have enough.

“Oi, Satou Kazuma.” He said gruffly in a thick accent, slamming a hand full of cloth down on the table between them, “How many of women panties do I steal before I get the big penis like yours?”

“THAT IS IT!” Kazuma roared, standing up abruptly to point angrily at the man, “Is that what all this copycat shit has been about?! My dick is mine! My life is mine!”

“Yeah, if you want to emulate anyone it should be a Crimson Demon!” Megumin agreed, also standing up.

“Or a Goddess!”

“I love a meal where everyone yells~”

“See this?! This is what being Kazuma is like!” He barked, gesturing at his party.

“Woah man, chill the out.” The large man casually brushed him off, “Can blame guy for trying? Big penis means big harem from noble. Men just want sex women. Too much asking?”

Taking the large man’s defence immediately, a slew of other gentlemen all in Kazuma styled clothes had surrounded the table. “Yeah, Kazuma! We just want a slice of the huge smutty pie you made for yourself! Men just want sex women!”

“Some of us are just trying to get laid. A lot of women don’t know what you look like and believe it when I say I’m Kazuma!” Beamed one particularly seedy patron.

“That’s… really bad man.”

“What?! They’re still getting filled up with your jizz! I bought a testicle swap from that Axis cult lady.”

Before Kazuma could argue with him, another burly man turned him around forcefully. “You only got to be a Harem Knight from luck! We’d have accepted crazy party members if it meant we got harems too!”

“What did you say, punks?!” Megumin roared, rolling up her sleeve to start her latest tavern brawl.

“None of you could have handled my party…” growled Kazuma, making them look at him with happiness… until he shuddered. “I did the time, I get the reward! The Harem Knight scheme is closed anyway.”

“We’ll take what we can get!”

“Yeah!”

“Come on! Just tell us your diet for a big dick or something!”

It was starting to get less like a friendly ribbing circle and instead becoming a worrying push and pull bullying pile. Even Darkness, Megumin, and Luna were struggling to get the big burly men off of Kazuma.

Yet someone hautily chuckling seemed to throw off the rhythm of the room.

“Hmhmhm, these men don’t understand your true origins, Kazuma. The real secret to you being here today.” said Aqua, looking like she was about to share some juicy info, much to Kazuma’s shock. She wasn’t really going to say where he really came from, was she? “You see, Kazuma used to masturbate a lot! Almost ten times a day for many years!”

There was a beat.

Kazuma went red, Megumin held in her laughter, Darkness looked impressed, and the crowd collectively said “OooOOoooohhh…”

“Is that real? Ten times a day?” Asked one man.

Kazuma sighed, scratching his neck quite a lot now, “I mean… that was, like, th-the record…”

“Is that why these balls of yours keep refilling so damn quick?” said the man that was pulling at his underwear a lot.

“You should know not to buy other people’s testicles.”

As you’d expect, Aqua had their attention and refused to let it go, “Now listen to me! You can all become great lovers if you stop emulating Kazuma, and try to become like the Goddess Aqua instead! Just join the Axis sect and all your-!”

“Come on, lads! What are we waiting around here for!”

“Yeah! It’s wanking time!”

The group of men stampeded out of the tavern, leaving a screaming Aqua and some very confused people behind…

Following this event, there would be a massive increase of lube sales in Wiz’s shop.

Story 2 (Kazuma uses the Calendar)

Day 1 - Tsundere and School Uniform Day

“Ugh… I really have to stop letting Aqua talk me into booze and blowjob nights…” said Kazuma, lying to himself as he stumbled out of his bedroom with a splitting headache. The fun levels of yesterday only slightly negating the pain of the morning. He had found it weird that Aqua had vanished in the night, and had vague memories of them playing around with a magic item… but details were scarce until he had a coffee.

Wearing only his underwear, his nut scratching hand clenched tightly when he reached his kitchen, where Kazuma had the fright of his life.

Standing with her back turned to him was a girl in a school uniform. Like, a school uniform from Japan.

Having obviously become attached to his sexual godhood in another world, Kazuma quickly looked around to check he wasn’t dreaming or had been universally transported again. Still a fantasy mansion, still here after a pinch of his arm and slap of his cheeks, all the same yet just with a strange inhabitant.

The girl turned at the sounds he let out, and he was able to see that it was Lia of the Axel Hearts. A nice idol girl, also from Japan, wearing such a demure school uniform while in his kitchen? Maybe he was dreaming.

“K-Kazuma!” She squeaked at the sight of him, blushing while trying to look away, “I… th-this isn’t my k-kitchen!”

“...uh, yeah. Obviously.”

“W-well then I m-made all this breakfast for Erika and Cielo for nothing! I g-guess you’ll have to eat it… not that I want you to!”

Kazuma’s eyes narrowed, staring at the girl who had folded her arms, closed her eyes, and huffed while looking away. “...Lia, your archetype is nice girl. Why you being a tsundere?”

It was then that his memory of last night returned.

“This calendar is shupposed to make holidaysh happen!” A drunken Kazuma barked, “Why don’t whee make shome REAL -hic- HOLDAYS!”

Aqua was too busy sucking cock to even care when he started using her head as a place to write.

“Oh shit, it’s school uniform and tsundere day!” He yelled, “Oh fuck yeah, drunk me! What a holiday!” Without missing a beat, Kazuma raced over to his friend and wrapped her up in a big hug from behind.

Her blushing face started heating up even more as his body rubbed against hers, “K-Kazuma! You’re still naked, i-idiot!”

“Oh come on, I’ve always wanted to do this to a tsundere.” He chuckled, not letting her squirming stop his fun, “You came over to get fucked, didn’t you Lia-chwan~? We’ve done it enough times to know how hungry you are for me. You love my thick cock, right?”

“L-love?!” She gasped, as if that was the most shocking thing Kazuma had said, still squirming as his hands roamed her body, “I-I-I-!”

“Don’t look away, Tsundere Lia.” He hissed in her ear, “Just give me a nervous tsundere kiss, and I’ll make you feel so damn good.”

Lia gulped. Then again. Her lips felt dry yet full as she considered his offer. His over puckered kisser ripe for a smacking, yet promising so much pleasure if her thumping heart would let her.

Slowly, she leant towards Kazuma’s waiting mouth.

“Woo~! That was great!” said the man looming over the cream covered Lia. His cock still spurting out light ropes to stain her torn open school uniform, “I can’t wait to have tons of tsundere sex today!” After taking a piece of toast, he added, “Mm, good grub. Thanks, Lia!”

Her eyes rolled back and smile wide, he’d fucked the tsundere out of her too hard for her to respond in anything but twitches.

Without even cleaning his cock, Kazuma strutted away from the kitchen to find his next tsundere.

“Ugh, what a pig.”

It didn’t take long on this wonderful holiday.

“Walking around with your uncut cock, dripping delicious semen on our carpet?” An annoyed Aqua huffed. Her outfit reminding Kazuma that she’d probably have been a gyaru drop out, seeing as she’d already untucked her shirt, removed her tie, and rolled up her skirt. All emphasised when she walked up to him and got on her knees, “If you’re not going to clean yourself up, I guess I have to do it myself. Not that I want to, obviously!”

As her lips neared his cockhead, Kazuma couldn’t resist pointing out, “Last night you blew me four times.”

“I-I just fell on you! You were the quick shot that nutted d-down my throat!” Aqua huffed, shaking her head in anger before deftly sucking on his penis.

This level of hostile aggression mixed with declarations of love would follow through the rest of the day.

“I made this sexy dream for someone else… b-but you can try it out first, my husband.” Xara’s huge body was stuffed so sexily into a school uniform that Kazuma almost didn’t hear what she said. The short skirt he could look up to see her thick thighs, the shirt buttons barely holding on to contain her tie eating bust, and all while the usually confident and calm succubus queen gave blushed filled shuffles towards him. The sexy dream was one of them holding hands, which he sullied by fucking her hard in the real world.

“It’s not like I wanted you to ignore me today!” said Darkness as he exited the house. Earning a soft moan as he did just that and walked off to town.

“I definitely didn’t want you to corner me in an alley…” mumbled the now timid Claire, her heart thumping against Kazuma’s chest as they shared an intimate (if slightly rough) moment.

“I didn’t write anything about you. D-don’t read it!” squeaked the usually confident Arue after she pushed Kazuma over before running off, leaving a single piece of paper with ‘Satou Arue’ written on it in a love heart.

“I-I wasn’t saving this item for you… Kazuma…” said Wiz after giving him a ring that set fire to his hand.

“It’s not like you think I’m the cutest, stupid producer!” said Erika, slapping Kazuma in the face.

“Don’t try and kiss me out of the blue!” barked Bova, thumping Kazuma in the belly. “My heart wasn’t ready…”

“Don’t bully me!” Crunch.

“Silly!” Crash.

“Baka!” Kaplow.

“I-it’s not like I want to show off my explosions for you… idiot!”

Kazuma decided today wasn’t a good day as the already fairly tsundere Megumin threatened his beaten body with her magic.

Day 2 - Dandere in Pajamas Day

“Wait… did I do more than just one day?” asked Kazuma, still feeling the aftermath of the tsundere’s, even after Aqua’s pouty healing. “Hello?”

He didn’t find where he’d put the calendar, so now it was a mystery as to what kind of holiday he was about to encounter.

The first thing he noticed was… it was really quiet.

Ever since the monster girls and succubae had moved in, the mansion had always sort of been a buzz of noise. Even on its quieter nights there was someone talking, or laughing, or performing some sexual act in ear shot.

Now though? Kazuma almost worried he’d enacted a rapture with how his voice echoed against the walls.

The first person he found was both a relief, and a confusion.

Melissa the arrogant yet sexy thief had found her way into the building. Yet for once she wasn’t wearing her elaborate and skin showing bodice or tiny shorts. Nor was she barging in to either steal Kazuma’s wallet or pet his ‘cute’ cock.

No, Melissa looked like a deer in headlights to Kazuma as soon as he bumped into her. Scrunching up the baggy hoodie she was wearing and retreating a few steps in apparent fear. Her face was blushing beneath her bangs. A blush usually only reserved for the fluffiest of animals.

Her outfit was clearly that of pajamas. Not the sexy lingerie kind he usually found Melissa in, but the comfy kind that one would use to laze about on a Sunday. Though since it was just a baggy jumper, Melissa’s long bare legs did add a high degree of saucyness.

“K-Kazuma!” She squeaked, rushing backwards to hide behind a nearby doorway. “H-Hi…”

“Um… hey, Melissa.”

It was at this point that Kazuma realised that she wasn’t the only one hiding.

Suddenly he noticed that there were many eyes on him, all peeking around from the various doorways. He’d bumped into her at a corridorial crossroad, meaning Kazuma was surrounded by eyes.

“Dandere’s…” Kazuma mumbled, feeling like he had landed in a cat hotel. No way these girls were going to harm him. “YAHOO!” His cry made several of the women shoot back around their doors before he reassured them, “Oops! It’s okay! I won’t hurt you!”

It took a few moments, but some of them did resurface.

“That’s it… come on, let’s have a nice easy day in our pajamas. Okay?”

None really came out, though he did start to recognise a few of the eyes. “Megumin? Can your loving boyfriend please get a kiss?”

A pause.

Suddenly running feet as the eighteen year old rushed up gave him a peck then ran back.

“So precious!” He squeaked internally, “Now this is going to be a great day!”

Well… it was comfy at least. He’d had worse days by the end of it.

The quietness never really ended. Kazuma was **** to basically be alone while shuffling and whispers happened nearby. Occasionally he’d catch a glimpse of a cute girl in soft pajamas, but it was fleeting. It was like he was living in a horror at some points the way they shuffled away from his gaze.

Only Darkness was brave and smitten enough to approach him. Sitting on the couch next to Kazuma in her ‘pajamas’. (Just a thin negligee). Yet even that was fleeting, as when he shuffled closer to her she got so lightheaded she fainted.

It was perhaps the least amount of action he’d gotten in weeks.

Also annoyingly, still no sign of the calendar…

Day 3 - Onee-San in only an Apron Day

Drunk Kazuma finally had an absolute winner on an idea.

“You were feeling lonely yesterday, Kazuma?”

“Mmhmm!”

A chorus of ‘awww’s erupted around him as he snuggled deeper into Darkness’ breasts.

She was snuggling him, while she herself was between the large pillows of Sylvia’s tits. Letting him keep his face in Darkness’ tits while squeezing the dark skinned mountains around them.

“There there,” hummed Darkness, stroking his hair.

“Yes, there there.” Agreed Sylvia, stroking both of them. “Anything you want today, Kazuma just tell us. We’ll make you feel very well loved.”

The reason Onee-san day was the current winner was the adaptability of the prompt. Tsundere and Dandere tropes were locked in, but big sisters could exist in many forms, letting more interesting and diverse sexy scenarios kick in around him.

“He doesn’t need any more pampering, he needs some exercise to get big and strong!” Chris encouraged, suddenly jutting out her hand to yell, “STEAL!”

In a flash of white, Kazuma’s one item of clothing was gone.

“Haha! Got your underwear, Kazuma~” the thief grinned, waving them around, “Come chase me down and get them back!”

“You shouldn’t bully him,” Darkness frowned, “Besides, normally you’d give underwear a big sniff when you steal them.”

“I can sniff and run!” Chris shot back, taking Kazuma’s smelly boxers and making them into a makeshift bandana. “See? Now come on! Sniff- Ooh, wow that’s… ripe…”

“That’s embarrassing, give them back to him!” Growled Megumin, taking the protective sister role to begin chasing Chris. Their antics taking them out of the room as Chris started big sistering Megumin instead.

Kazuma didn’t really mind. His growing boner starting to rise… before a bowl of porridge was thrust towards him.

“I-I wanted to make sure you’re eating breakfast properly! Since you’re going out adventuring today, I thought I’d bring you some…” said Yunyun, the caring older sister archetype. Kazuma forgot he was doing that today, thinking the holiday would override plans, but clearly not. “I-is this how you like your porridge?”

“Hm? Oh, yeah, sure. Good job.”

Yunyun’s eyes lit up, “Yes! So I’m a good older sister?! I can give you lots of advice, a-and you can introduce me to all your friends and-!”

“That’s porridge is too boring for Kazuma!” said Aqua, suddenly pouring some bubbly directly into the bowl, “There ya go! You’re grown up enough to enjoy a prop -hic- adult breakfast!”

“Wow, so you just barely changed at all, have you?”

Darkness frowned at the drunk older sister archetype. “Aqua… you shouldn’t just pour booze into other people’s food.”

“Like he’s even going to really eat anything. Let’s just get our breakfast started already!” Roared Musume. The amazing sight of the Demon King’s Daughter in only an apron was already enjoyable, but she was apparently the slightly tomboyish older sister type. One that was hungry enough for his cock to start kissing and licking at it before Kazuma could stop her.

“Big sister Yunyun can help!”

“Move over! Goddess sister is Kazuma’s favourite!”

“Hehe, not feeling lonely anymore, are you?” chuckled Sylvia, squeezing the pair between her tits even more as multiple women started to surround and suckle at Kazuma’s cock.

Caring, drunk, and roughhouser. So many flavours of sister that Kazuma never got to experience as an only child, and this wasn’t even the end of the stimulation! As he felt tongues overlap and fight over his hard erection, Darkness took the chance to start dutifully cleaning his ears. Running a bud around the outside before gently blowing.

It didn’t take too long for his first morning cum shot to start spraying over three of his harem with gusto. Aqua arguing she should get it all while Musume and Yunyun made out, snowballing their ‘little brother’s’ jizz.

“Hey Kazuma,” said Chris, returning to the room still with his underwear and a cunning grin, “All this pampering, yet I bet you wanna know that Wiz is cooking for you right now~”

“Gasp! The perfect scenario!?”

Despite all the women around him, Kazuma politely excused himself and rushed towards the kitchen. He would never let anyone in only an apron cook alone. Not when he could be interrupting their focus with sex!

“Hmhm~ I hope Kazuma enj-AH!” Wiz didn’t even get a chance to greet him before his hands were deeply squeezing her breasts from behind. He sniffed her hair, rubbed his dick into her ass, and refused to let go like the lamprey his was. “K-Kazuma?! I’m carrying a lot of f-food!”

“Ignore it. I want you so badly, Wiz.”

“Y-you know my body is all yours… but it’s still a matter of safe-AHN~!”

The busty girl in only an apron was far too erotic for him not to indulge. Some of the fried egg she was cooking falling onto the counter and making Wiz cast ice magic to stop the potential fire.

With the food ruined, Kazuma could focus on shifting his dick deep into Wiz’s welcoming cunt. Practically holding her up as her legs struggled to not quake under his thundering thrusts. All increasing in tempo the more his hands just mauled at her chest under the tight apron, Kazuma’s dreams feeling just as good as he imagined.

And when he was done, with a full tank of jizz emptied into Wiz’s womb, he got to enjoy a calming lap pillow by his onee-chan (Megumin) followed by a lap pillow by his onee-chan (Musume) followed by a lap pillow…

It was only when the day switched to adventuring that things took a slight turn.

Upon reaching the guild, Luna insisted that Kazuma stay hydrated. He tried to drink the water she gave him, but was brought down for another lap pillow and ear cleaning by Aerith this time. As soon as his head was up, it was bombarded with soup bowls and head pats. Aggressive nurturing from all sides, only alleviated by the occasional mad sexcapade.

It was when the giant frog they were fighting stopped to give him a headpat that he decided that the calendar had to be found. Tomorrow.

Day 4 - Kuudere In Micro Bikini Day

“Hello, Kazuma.”

Kazuma was getting used to being woken up by women. After so many days, the rhythm of sleep after sex then wake up sex was just as natural as a morning stretch. Even recently with the strangeness, he thought he could get some morning fun done before getting on with it.

What he wasn’t expecting was forty eight women surrounding his bed.

“Eep!” He squeaked, looking at the gaggle of hot women, only wearing the tiniest micro bikinis to cover their amazing bodies, while also barely moving with their hands behind their backs. “M-morning, all…”

Kuudere is a term used for cool, slightly distant women tropes in doujins. Stoic and calm, analytical, sometimes with a softer side that can be dug up. Looking at all the girls in their tights bikinis and sunglasses they reminded Kazuma of a bunch of Sena’s, really.

Aqua, adjusting her glasses like Sena would and speaking in a monotone tone she was far from known for, said, “We have collectively decided you haven’t been efficient enough in coitus, Satou Kazuma.”

“‘E-efficent’?”

“Your penis’ various thrusts may be pleasurable, but not well time managed.” said the bizarrely dulced Megumin, “You have yet to seduce your entire harem in one day.”

“A-ALL?!”

“You are a Harem Knight. Your job is to pleasure us every day, Kazuma.” explained the sharper than usual Darkness. “Prepare yourself.”

Before Kazuma could argue one way or another, his tiny form was pounced on by several women.

Vision blocked instantly by Arue’s pussy, grinding her mons along his nose to move the g-string before sitting her lips on his. Fingers started to ridden like dildos into Oulan and Dhysana pussy. He could feel his cock dive deep into Luna’s pussy while Sylvia’s large head took his nuts and suckled them hard.

It was as intense as it was erotic. Tits were falling out of their tiny confines so easily as hips jumped up and down on Kazuma’s body. Hips were rolling, pussies were clenching, and the heat of the room continued to rise as the surrounding women all pleasured themselves with KazuDildos to the dog pile of smut.

“Extend your tongue. Flick to the left. It appears as though I’m cumming.” Announced Arue as her pussy squirted out onto Kazuma’s face.

“I shall now take your position.” said Musume, sitting on Kazuma’s face and practically crushing it in the process.

“I shall now take your position.” said Ludmilla, sitting on Kazuma’s fingers after ORC was finished.

“I shall now take your position.” said Tifa, sitting on Kazuma’s dick after Luna had been successfully filled with his jizz.

You’d think once the efficient sex had finished a round they would all be off to go be Kuudere’s elsewhere. Unfortunately they all separately went through a character arc where they realized they wished to have more sex with Kazuma, and would follow their desires three more times each.

Kazuma would not leave his bed until the next day.

Day 5 - Tomboy In Gym Clothes Day

“Look who’s finally awake!”

Kazuma rubbed his arm from where he was just violently punched by Sena.

“Ow.” He grumbled, feeling more sore in his pelvis than his arm, though he was happy he was able to make it out of the house at all today. Though he failed to find the calendar in his half dead state, he appreciated the fresh air after such a sweaty day.

“This is getting all a bit out of hand. Which trope are we in now?” He said, looking over Sena with scrutiny, nodding at the tight clothes she had on around her ample chest. “Hmm… hair scruffy and short, school logo on your chest, no makeup, a clear attempt to make yourself look as guy-like as possible…”

Pain didn’t let up once he’d been slapped to the floor.

“Jerk.” She huffed before running into the nearby field, “Hey! You guys playing some ball?! I want in!”

“I want in too!”

“Yeah! Let’s play ball!”

Like grazing gazelle escaping their predators, Kazuma watched the true beauty of nature as a horde of tomboys began to gather by leaping through the tall grass.

So many short haired women, all wearing some level of white tank top and short booty shorts. Laughing, wrestling, exercising, setting up teams for baseball, all together.

Whatever fake gym uniform the calendar had made up, Kazuma thanked the heavens it hadn’t included underwear.

Wiz’s huge melons were on full display after just a mild amount of sweat applied to her top, thick nipples on display as she attempted to lift the baseball bat. Cielo bending over and not caring about the tightness of her pants as she readied her throw. Sylvia wiping her face with her tank top and casually revealing her tits to the group.

“Wow… tomboy Aqua…”

“Kazuma! Look how far I can throw!” She yelled, landing a perfect bowl for Divane to smack it out of the park.

“...tomboy Yunyun…”

“S-sup! I benched a goblin earlier!” Yunyun instantly countered her cool facade by tripping on a tree branch.

Megumin shook her head nearby, “Bottom tier tomboy…”

“...tomboy muscle girls…”

Tifa (with a jacket on her back and a band around her forehead) and Darkness (with a bandage on her cheek and wraps on her hands) were in an arm wrestling match that looked so powerful it could potentially topple the mansion. Tomboy Luna had been knocked over nearby from the sheer exuding **** of their muscles.

“...”

Kazuma had been treating this like a nature reserve. Sitting in the grass and admiring the various species around him that seemed more interested in sports than sex today.

His pause was due to his eyes reaching a certain silver haired thief. One who had been within earshot from his previous observations.

“...Chris…”

“That’s tomboy Chris! Don’t act like I’m usually a tomboy and this is nothing special! Kazumaaaa~!”

Day 6

“I-is it over?”

Kazuma was ready for the worst again, yet today nothing really seemed to be happening.

There was a lot of groaning. Turns out a lot of the girls weren’t ready for the active tomboy lifestyle; feeling the effects of an entire day of intense exercise from their aching muscles. Big blonde breasted exceptions of course chilling out as usual.

It seemed that the mini-nightmare he’d created for himself was over. A five day holiday week on the magic calendar made just as much sense as anything else.

In the end he almost forgot about it to the mundane day of sexual haremenitude his life had become.

Day 7 - Yandere and Wedding Dress Day

“SHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT!”

Kazuma decided to never drink and magic item ever again.

It was about three pm and Kazuma had yet to stop running since he got up in the morning. Waking up to a knife against your neck from a yandere Yunyun would do that to anyone. Her wedding dress was cute, but offset by that obsessive look in her eye.

After ditching the psycho crimson demon, he managed to evade capture. Realising today’s trope and deciding to lay low. At first he’d been lurking through the halls, watching as wedded women hunted him like a prize fox.

They weren’t in packs, but they weren’t fighting either.

He could see each woman go by his hiding place. Just staying quiet, living his own horror film…

“Kazuma! I made ice sculptures of you!” yelled Aqua, calling out to him closer than her wits could realise. “You wouldn’t run from your favourite Goddess… hahahaha WOULD YOU?!”

Wiz looked very cute in white, but her glowing eyes gave him quite the fright, “They say **** do us part… but if we’re both liches, we can be together forever~”

“Your only quest today is to love me, over and over and over again…” Luna groaned, dropping a ticket with said quest scratched onto the top. Kazuma was beginning to think his mansion needed better security with how many people walked in and out.

“Oh my husband~ your duties to your harem have left me so unfulfilled~ I’ll need to drain your whole soul to feel whole!” hissed Xara, reminding Kazuma of that night of the succubus queen.

“The Axis Cult NEEDS you, Kazuma!” Hissed Cecily.

“I have a materia that’ll tie our souls together, Kazuma…” hummed Aerith.

“Give me that penis! I want it! NOW!” yelled Nerimaki.

“Mortal! I may be bound to this realm, but I can still call an army of angels down to find you!”

Even with Divane’s threats, Megumin was perhaps the scariest yandere of all, “Let’s go to the fields, Kazuma! But I want to see how your sexy body bursts into a thousand pieces from my love-splosion!”

After yandere Chris found him in lurk mode, he had spent the rest of the day running.

Avoiding Arue’s deadly love notes, Sylvia’s tentacle traps, Cielo’s punches, and so many more.

He wasn’t 100% sure how, but he managed to get to the stables while avoiding detection. Barracading himself in with the horses, knowing that this nightmare would be (hopefully) over by the morning.

“Hello Kazuma.”

“Darkness!” He squeaked, not realising the girl would normally be in here with him. Her dress looked so tight, barely covering her thick nipples with its plunging neckline. “I… I… I don’t suppose your usual level of obsession with me has negated the effects of the yandere holiday…?”

There was a pause.

Then Darkness smiled at him.

It was found that Aqua had been hoarding the Calendar, but that's a story for another day.

Story 3 (Being A Boyfriend)

“...and you’re sure about this?”

Vanir was perhaps the one creature that Kazuma had never been able to mentally get his head around. Was Vanir a liar, a schemer, a demon that only wanted negative emotions, or all of the above? So many encounters with the masked scoundrel went awry, yet in the long run it seemed like trusting Vanir also could go his way too. As long as their goals aligned then Vanir would manipulate Heaven and Earth to get what they both wanted.

Which made it really nerve wrecking whenever Vanir gave advice. Especially when he smiles after it.

“Moi assures you, boy who is terrified of losing his harem. Following your current trajectory of love hoarding and sexual abundance, you’re on the perfect track to lose all the affection you’ve earned by the end of the year.”

“Dammit!” Kazuma hissed, slamming his fist onto Wiz’s table in frustration, “I knew this happiness wouldn’t last! How does it happen? Do I try to make a money making scheme that goes wrong? Some big battle I fuck up on? Does everyone wake up from some collective spell they’re under? Tell me!”

Vanir simply inhaled Kazuma’s continued stress with a satisfied hum, “Hmm. Moi does not divulge the details. Anxiety rarely exudes the proper flavour when knowledge of the future is applied. Besides, that would mean Moi has less fun watching you squirm!” Barely missing a beat, Vanir stood from the table and waltzed away from the conversation with a strut, “Oh how your attempts to be a ‘better boyfriend’ to all shall truly enlighten Moi’s day!”

“Wait, a ‘better boyfriend’? To… all? Like, just my three girlfriends, or all the girls?” Vanir was obviously gone now, and Kazuma had learned to not even bother following that guy and his annoying ability to disappear. “...crap, how do you even be a good boyfriend?”

Out in the fields, Kazuma had laid out a perfect picnic for Megumin. They’d skipped all the way here as usual, and he was ready to be the best boyfriend ever as they approached the checkered blanket.

As he slowed down, Megumin happily skipped right through his effort.

“Hey!” He barked, finally making her stop, “Did you not see my picnic?!”

“Hm? Oh. That’s nice… explosion time, explo-”

“Oi!” Kazuma had no patience, grabbing the girl before she got too far and literally lifting her to the nice romantic spot he’d made for them.

“Kazuma, it’s explosion time! We can have sex on your blanket after!”

“I don’t want-!” He stopped himself, “You can wait until I’m finished romancing you!” Instantly he dove into his picnic basket,

“...romancing? Why?” asked a very confused Megumin before some items were shoved into her face, “Chocolate and flowers?”

“Yeah!”

Megumin examined the boxes she’d been given. “...does the chocolate have your cum baked in or something?”

“Wha-?! No! It’s, like, the real stuff! I bought them for you!”

“Oh, okay. With how much of our life has revolved around your penis recently I just assumed…” She replied, tailing off while looking at the items again, “Thank you, Kazuma. You have wooed me. I am amazed at your ability to woo me. I always am so blown away by your efforts, and your handsome face, and your-”

“Just go do your explosion already.”

She was away before he’d finished speaking, “Thanks Kazuma! Those chocolates will taste great after I’ve unloaded!”

Returning to the mansion, Kazuma sighed. Megumin had just guzzled down the chocolates after exploding and they’d ended up doing it so she could explode again… and then she ate the flowers too.

Was that enough? Was he destined to fail as a boyfriend?

Part of him felt embarrassed by his plans and was wondering why he was truly even bothering, but upon seeking and seeing his beautiful blonde babe’s cute af smile his motivation was rejuvenated, “Darkness! Maybe you’ll prefer your gift!”

She looked around, a bit confused about what was happening before asking, “Sex?”

“No, poetry!”

“Sex poetry?”

“REGULAR poetry!” He huffed, brushing off the crumpled piece of paper he had in his pocket, “Erhem. O noble knight of armored grace, With shining hair and steely face. Your heart so pure, and will so strong, protecting us, when things go wrong. Roses are red, Violets are blue, be my valentine, oh won’t you?”

Darkness tried to look impressed, and touched, yet truly everyone’s a critic. “...shouldn’t there be a part where I’m groveling in the dirt, begging for mercy? Or bleeding as I protect you from a horde of goblins? Where’s the part where you call me a shameful, perverted meat shield and then spit on the ground in disgust?”

“...”

Kazuma quietly walked away, feeling like he’d lost somehow. He vowed to never write poetry again.

“Why did I think you could handle a romantic dinner date?!”

“Kashuma! Drink wit me! HIC! It’ll make the sex shooo much better!”

“This is why Michelangelo hates us dining here! I'm never going to be able to date fancy ever again!”

“Kazuma?”

After sulking in his room for the majority of the evening, Kazuma was surprised to see three sets of sexy lingerie below three worried faces staring back at him.

“Are you feeling okay?”

“We were worried about you.”

“Is the pressure of the harem getting to you?”

“I…” Slowly they began to circle him, the thumping in his heart feeling oddly pervasive as he almost struggled to face their worry earnestly. “...you guys are all happy, right?”

It took them off guard a little, looking between each other before replying, “Of course!”

“Yeah, Kazuma! Don’t be silly!”

Megumin looked unsure, “Unless… are you… not?”

“I am!” He quickly defended, perhaps too quickly, feeling like the pervasive premonition kept creeping into his mind… “But, like, you’d still be happy with me if we couldn’t, you know, have sex?”

Again, they were surprised, and before anyone could reassure him, Aqua quietly said, “Heal.”

“My dick’s not ill! This is a hypothetical to prove I’m not some one note sex machine to you three!” He growled at her.

“How strange,” said Darkness, tilting her head at him with an almost bemused expression, “I spend so long thinking I’m not good enough for you, it feels odd that you’d even consider the opposite.”

“Sex isn’t everything, Kazuma.” said Megumin, jumping on him lightly to place her head on his shoulder, “I obviously really like it, but if we never did it again then I’d still love you.”

Aqua’s head hit the opposite shoulder, snuggling into him, “Same! We could go on adventures again if you’d prefer! I haven’t had to revive you for ages, hehe~”

“Looks like you’re stuck with us, my love.” Darkness purred as she climbed onto his front, leaning her head down onto his chest to complete the fully body hug they had. Kazuma was clearly fighting back his emotions, hiding his tears in Aqua’s hair while returning the hug.

“God… okay, cool. I don’t wanna stop having sex, by the way.” He said, earning a happy squeeze by the three of them, “Though, yeah. Snuggling tonight sounds good. If only we could watch a movie, right Aqua?”

Somehow she was already falling asleep, “Mm… I used to watch a bunch from my chair… human stories are so funny…”

Seeing her chance, Darkness wanted to be useful in a way she didn’t fully understand, “Well, normally Kazuma’s bed has the same viewing abilities as Aqua’s chair.”

They’d spend the rest of the night quietly curled up together, even if Megumin and Darkness’ minds were blown by the Ghibli movie that Kazuma found. His new bed was able to tap into his old world and pick a random person’s life to watch. Just a wholesome night of the four together with nothing lewd happening for once…

And in the morning Kazuma fucked them all hard as thanks.

Story 4 (Heaven Sent)

It was rare for Kazuma to want to die these days.

With such a wonderful harem–and both Aqua and Chris at his beck and call–visiting the Gods for more blessings seemed unneeded.

Though when Divane claimed she’d been contacted by her former subordinates requesting religious rumpages from Kazuma? Well, how could he ever deny the goodness of Goddesses, temporarily severing his ties to the mortal realm to spread his virtuous seed amongst the Heavens?

With his human body currently possessed by a loyal succubus who wished to try out Kazuma’s endless stamina, his soul was free to traverse to the other side. Where he was already greeted by a drippy slit begging to be rammed into.

Eris waited on her chair, dress flipped up to reveal her ample behind, long legs spread apart and inviting, all with a tiny bite of her lip as she eyed the rapidly derobing man.

“You didn’t wait long, my Lucky Lady.” said Kazuma, already inside Eris’ cunt before properly saying hello.

“Shhh!” Eris hissed, trying to follow her own hush but moanaculaly failing. “I t-told you the wrong time so I could -nn- get a quickie in before the others!”

Kazuma chuckled at the brazen sluttiness of his favourite demure Goddess, giving her a righteous ass slap that sent quivers through her body, “Aww, wanted some alone time with Kazuma? Does your daily divine dickings not satisfy thine thief side enough?”

“I-I couldn’t let a chance like this slip away…” Eris panted, her body melting into her own chair, “S-soul sex… f-feels like fucking without a condom… but everywhere…”

Kazuma could feel it. The rawness of his plaps, grinding up the gushing walls and making his spine shudder in pleasure. Though after such a world class buffet his harem provided, he couldn’t exactly claim it surpassed slimes, succubus, and stupid blonde slits. If anything, it was just Eris that was making this experience soar.

It had been many occasions that Kazuma would dream of taking this literal dream girl on her own giant chair. The times he wished to just stay here, rather than deal with the woes of his three party members. Thrusting into the welcoming slit of the only girl that was consistently nice to him and his troubles. Now he got to see her naughty side. That open mouthed, beautiful face sweat and moan from his rapid cervix slaps. It only encouraged him to flip her around and start kissing her front, nibbling at her neck while Eris encouraged every dirty thought to sully her body. Kazuma thrusting down onto her pelvis as her legs wrapped around his body.

Kazuma had no idea if he was making the Goddess pregnant as his (technically) ghost-sperm gushed out of him. Admittedly, he had no idea how any of this worked. For all he knew the sperm that leaked out of her pussy, down her chair, and onto the star speckled floor, didn’t somehow… leak into real space.

The long outstretched corridor of the Gods was a truly wondrous sight. The clouds that they stood on were pure white fluffy bridges, somehow looking even purer the higher into the proverbial sky it climbed. Kazuma tried not to look too close into the pure celestial infinity that climbed forever above him, it kind of gave him a headache. Still, having been mind controlled last time he visited, Kazuma finally got to adore the majesty of Heaven properly.

For about five minutes before he was pulled away into a bedroom for sex.

Godly orgies weren’t a new invention. Certain collections of deities certainly had more claim to erotic fame–Kazuma was perhaps lucky that Dionysus was a few hundred stories above him–but others kept it fairly tame.

Divane had run a very tight ship when she ruled her pantheon. While verbally she signed off on it fine, sex/fraternising was not something she particularly entertained in practice. If any gossip got around of two deities getting in on that didn’t include Divane? She would be absolutely livid that she was upstaged in her own home. Kicking out or even depowering deities just to prove a point of how amazing she was. It was why she didn’t even allow the male Gods into her group, just to stop any chance of them choosing a different Goddess (she wasn’t as hard on lesbian flings that flew mostly under her radar).

After she had been taken from Heaven by Darkness, Palutena’s pantheon prepared persistently for Kazuma’s return. The new ‘bedroom’ that he’d been dragged into was a converted space from one of the meeting rooms, now decked out in the softest of pillows, quilts, mattresses, sheets, angelic harps, you name it. Not only that, but the Goddesses were hungry. The normalities that affected their senses demanded daily masturbation directed to that one human with the huge cock, and each orgasm they received from those thoughts increased their affection towards him.

Having all that power thrown at you would drive lesser men insane. Yet Satou Kazuma, after being brought to the brink of insanity by his insane friendships and hardships, could only revel in the glory of holy rewards. Using his magical pleasure giver to thrust, fuck, suck, and corrupt all the slutty Goddesses he could.

Eris and Axis were the only two major religions he’d properly encountered down on that other world. So Kazuma was surprised to learn about the different deities as he made his way through the bedroom.

There was the girl he’d met previously, Yethal the purple skinned Goddess of Thunder, who had taken charge in kissing him as soon as Kazuma walked through the door. Yethal had taken it upon herself to be the girl introducing him to the others, waiting for her turn while watching him work right beside him.

First was Avenne, Goddess of the Harvest, someone Kazuma initially thought was a big pile of dirt when he walked in. Avenne had tanned skin covered in huge patches of mud, grass, and various plant life growing out of her. A quiet girl with shy eyes, braided yellow hair, and a very well grown pudgy body that Kazuma enjoyed rippling when he fucked her. She spent most of the time making sure Kazuma was well fed and ‘growing properly’. Feeding him carrots, courgettes, and potatoes almost constantly, whenever he didn’t have a pussy to eat of course. Kazuma wasn’t even sure it was affecting his non corporeal form, but Avenne’s eyes lit up so much when he ate that it was hard to turn her down.

Solane, Goddess of the Sun, was hot. Not that he was allowed to look directly at her, only able to see her either from a distance or through squinted eyelids. It felt odd to put his hands on skin that was literally on fire and not feel burned, that natural human fear was difficult to ignore, but she made up for it by treating him to steamy erotic burning sex that tightly squeezed his cock. The way Solane rode him lit up the room more than any were particularly prepared for, apparently Aqua’s leaving had increased Heaven’s daily fires two thousand fold.

Kazuma was happy to get another bookish girl to make cock stupid in Lexia, Goddess of Knowledge. Not that it was particularly difficult with a mind as scatterbrained as hers. Turns out, having the sum of human knowledge in your brain that’s constantly updating makes it difficult to concentrate on the here and now. If anything, sucking on Kazuma’s dick was the longest Lexia had focused on anything in decades. Her smile when she received the knowledge that Kazuma’s thick cum had already impregnated her was something else…

Crustelle, Goddess of Freshly Baked Bread. It was around here that Kazuma was wondering why there were such specific deities. Not that he complained to Crustelle, she was too much of a well baked MILF to do much talking to her at all. The thick piece of breaded meat felt so good to bury himself into, smelling exactly like the substance she governed. Always rubbing his hair as he thrust into her slices, only ever swearing once at the peak of her pleasure (that is, Kazuma assumed ‘sourdough’ was a swear of hers).

Kazuma really had to bite his tongue when he met Gallopina, Goddess of Travelling By A Horse, and Molare, Goddess of Oral Hygiene. He didn’t want to upset these deities by doing his usual straight man shtick, instead just focusing on using his straight man-stick to keep them all happy. Besides, between the plucky firm Gallopina riding him, and the studious Molare using her tongue to explore every inch of his mouth, he found he didn’t have much to say anyway.

Pawmeow, Goddess of Cats That Ignore You But Still Want To Be Pet. Kazuma at least got to roll his eyes on that one, seeing as the Goddess it was attached to kept prowling around behind him. She had short orange and white hair, wearing a loose brown hoodie and nothing else, and kept approaching before being scared off again. Kazuma watched Pawmeow throughout, getting snacks in solitude, licking up the cum he deposited in other holy crotches, or pretending to clean herself whenever he looked over at her. Only when ‘taking a nap break’ did he find that the catgirl had approached close enough for him to gently stroke her hair… and once she started purring he had her for nine rounds back to back. Sometimes not even cumming inside of her, to make her feline sensitivity rise until she was clawing at the pillows.

Kazuma would have absolutely yelled in protest at Drowzell; Goddess of Getting To Sleep In Another Five Minutes, had he not seen the absolute size of the girl first. He’d expected the hulking muscle girl to be the ‘Goddess of Protein’ or ‘Gains’ or ‘Working Out Too Much’... not sleeping. But it turns out, when everyone prays to you every day for those five minutes more, you become one of the strongest Goddesses around. Not that Drowzell liked that. A lazybones by nature, her massive form just seemed wrong on the sleepyhead, having to burn some excess prayer while waiting her turn by doing pushups while she napped. Thankfully, Kazuma could always enjoy a hot muscle girl, and had a lot of experience in getting folded like a pretzel by such strong women.

He had his way with all of them. Using the normalities of his world to truly wreck their minds. Yet he never tired of a Goddess giving him an ahegao face, bringing her double peace signs up, and declaring him the victor over their pussy. None were able to escape from the waves of increased sensitivity that he could provide simply by thrusting into them over and over again.

While some of the Goddesses had no followers to hear their declarations of loss, this meant a more delayed gratification to those that were simply thought upon in times of need.

For example, Drowzell would give many human men and women a vision of her defeat. Whenever they prayed to her for five more minutes sleep from now on, they would recieve a powerful awakening orgasm as their minds were filled of the sight of Kazuma filling her pussy with his jizz.

After all that holy prayer, Kazuma only had one more Goddess to try.

Their green haired benevolent host had been staying back the whole time. Feeling like she needed to let her subordinates have their fun before joining. Even with all the sexual overlapping and redos, she finally found a chance when the dripping wet Kazuma began to approach her throne.

Yet just as he arrived, they were interrupted.

“Lady Palutena! I-it’s happening again!”

Kazuma turned. He hadn’t expected to see an angel that looked like a mirror image of himself standing there.

Though he was a little shorter and had wings, there were still some points of direct comparison that none could deny. The scruffy brown hair, the plain average face… the huge erect penis that looked identical to his own.

“Dang it, Pit. I told you that you had to wait until my guest leaves.”

“I tried, but this curse is really d-demanding, Lady Palutena!” He squirmed, holding his dick like it was a time bomb, “I don’t know why you won’t let me fight that chimera lady again! Maybe I can undo-!”

“No, Pit. You lost, end of story.”

“But you didn’t let me take any weapons last-!”

“Pit!” She snapped, getting embarrassed after seeing Kazuma’s understanding of the situation begin to reflect on his increasingly smug face. Just because she paid Sylvia to swap out Pit’s cock to a Kazuma brand demon dick so she could worship it properly up in Heaven… “Leave us. You can survive one day without my guidance.”

“Okay…” He sighed, looking rather dejected and upset before his shoulder was suddenly grabbed.

“I’m getting pretty used to sharing girls with guys that look like me. What do you say we team up against your boss, eh?”

Pit’s eyes lit up at Kazuma’s kindness, “R-really! Wow, thanks… uh, whoever you are!”

“Kazuma. And no problem, I can tell this one really likes the idea,” he sneered, taking his hand and collecting a good sample of her love juice from the spread cunt in front of them, “you can even take this oozy pussy.”

“W-what?! I-!” He stumbled on his words, “L-Lady Palutena could never-! I’m just an angel-! Hands are-!”

“Just do it, Pit!” Palutena snapped again, taking the angel by his top and throwing him onto where she was sitting before lowering herself down onto his cock, “You follow Kazuma’s command when we’re in here, got it?”

“Y-yes…” said Pit, feeling his aching cockhead rub against her entrance and barely registering anything else outside of that.

“Don’t worry, that ‘curse’ won’t be happy until you’ve seeded this bitch. Trust me.”

The pair were surprisingly in sync as they fucked Palutena into mind broken oblivion. Her loose gown falling to the hefty slaps of her jumping breasts, letting Pit’s budding crush on his boss bloom into a full blown obsession as his new cock was squeezed and squashed. All while Kazuma rammed into her holy rear, cushioning his hips into that ever plump behind.

Hours upon hours of venerated revelry followed. Taking samples of true pleasure from the Gods and leaving only his treasured baby batter in return. Teaching his new angelic doppelganger the ropes of cock mastery while basking in the debauchery that these slutty deities demanded.

Darkness granted them one extra day with her man, before going back up to Heaven to retrieve Kazuma herself.

After what she did to Divane, no one wanted to mess with her.