Kaylee and the Perfect Girlfriend

It was a painful week to get through. The more time passed, the harder the idea of talking about our Saturday revelation became. Sitting at different tables at lunch didn’t help, and neither of us wanted to destroy the mood our brief morning and after-school interactions brought. It was awkward, and I knew I wasn’t the only one feeling that way. The away game on Friday didn’t help. We barely spoke on the way to the game and the after-game victory celebration made it so conversation was impossible. Besides, this wasn’t a conversation I wanted to have anywhere near other people.

When Saturday rolled around, I think both of us decided that this situation had gone on long enough. I wasn’t about to let that ruin our whole day though, so I took her out for a date. Even though we hung out all the time, there was still that itching feeling at the back of my mind that our relationship didn’t feel like we were really dating. My poor hair was still butchered from the party, so I did the best I could to salvage it. I’d gotten teasing comments from Sam, Ally, and Liam all week, but there wasn’t much I could do about it. My best effort only managed to reduce the look from douchebag to dumbass frat boy. It’d be weeks until I could look at myself in the mirror again.

Kaylee seemed to like it, though I wasn’t sure if it was because she could tease me about it or if she actually liked the style. I feared it was the latter. Still, I had to admit it was nice to dress up and go out. Kaylee certainly didn’t hold back. Gorgeous on the worst of days, I had a taste of her going all out when we went to her aunt’s party. This was different though. She was dressing up for me. It was certainly a confidence booster having a goddess at your arm. Everywhere we went she drew stares from guys and girls alike. Kaylee relished the attention, but her focus was on me the entire day. For a few hours, I forgot everything as we lost ourselves in the moment. There was a simplicity in enjoying each other’s company.

Feeling a bit nostalgic, I brought her to Jenny’s for dinner. We were certainly overdressed for it, but it was perfect and brought back a lot of good memories. I got my usual Chicken Parmesan—earning an eye roll from Kaylee—and she got a burger with onion rings. For most of dinner, Kaylee filled me in on all the drama I was missing. Listening to her talk about it once more confirmed I made the right decision by switching tables. No idea how I lasted as long as I did. I just… didn’t care. That didn’t mean I tuned it out. It was important to Kaylee and I was used to playing the sympathetic ear. I found it was much easier listening to it second-hand than being swept up in it.

“…which makes no sense. Everyone knows how Ellie is, and he was the one who asked her out in the first place! He shouldn’t have gotten upset just because she slept with another guy.”

The real question was why anyone asked Ellie out anymore. You didn't have to date her to sleep with her. Just ask... or simply look at her. Either way would get you laid. “Yeah, but it was his brother.”

“So?”

“That’s weird.” Kaylee chomped on one of her onion rings, tilting her head slightly as she stared at me. I frowned at the sudden intensity as she silently chewed her food. “What?”

“Trying to imagine how things would be if Paige was a guy.” My frown deepened as she continued. “Oh! What if you had an identical twin? Now _that _would be something.” Her smile widened. “The things the three of us could do…”

I wrinkled my nose. “Gross.”

“Hot,” she corrected, pointing a half-eaten onion ring at me. “We could play, “Guess the Twin.’ It’s a game I’d never lose,” she said with a wink.

I crossed my arms. “You think you could tell identical twins apart?”

“Hell if I know, but I’d have fun trying!”

“Ugh,” I said with a roll of my eyes.

“Okay then. How about we flip it around. What if I had an identical twin sister?” I faked a horrified look, which I don’t think she expected. “What?” she asked, looking guarded.

“I can’t even keep up with one of you. I don’t think there are enough guys on the planet to handle two.”

“Probably not,” she said with a smirk. “But that aside… You, me, and a hypothetical sister that looked exactly like me. We both like you and want to share you as a boyfriend. Would you go for it?”

My initial gut reaction was to say no, but I stopped myself. Dismissing it so quickly would only make her dig in more and push me on it. I needed to at least give some thought or she’d just rephrase it a different way. So I did think about it and gave it some serious thought. Would I attempt a hypothetical relationship with Kaylee and her fake identical sister if given the opportunity?

“No,” I said after some thought. Again, she seemed surprised.

“What? Why not?”

I shifted in place, feeling my face heat. Even though I answered it truthfully, I felt self-conscious of my answer. She was going to keep pushing me though, so I had to give her something. I decided on the truth then. “Because I don’t feel like I can love anyone other than you.” Her lighthearted and teasing smile faded as the weight of my statement hung over the table. “I don’t mean that in a strict, ‘you are the only one for me,’ sort of way. It’s more like I can’t see myself splitting my attention to give equal treatment to more than one person. I would constantly feel like one girl is getting more than the other. That isn’t fair to anyone.” I grinned, trying to return things to a more lighthearted nature. “One relationship is hard enough to balance without throwing in another variable.”

Kaylee had a moment of silence, thinking to herself before slowly nodding. “I see your point. As a counterpoint, plenty of other people make it work.”

I shrugged. “What works for them doesn’t mean it would work for me. I’m perfectly happy with one girl, thank you.”

She quirked her eyebrow, leaning forward as she gave me a grin. “So I should tell Kayla you aren’t interested in meeting up again?” There was a teasing tilt to her voice.

Careful. I fought against my natural desire to show my discomfort. “Like she’d be interested.”

“You’d be surprised. You might have come up in a conversation with her a few days back.” Her head tilted slightly and I recognized that look. An idea had popped into her head. I knew the general direction it was going to go by the uncertainty on her face. Namely, she was going to ask something she knew I would probably be uncomfortable with. “Say… You _did _enjoy your time with her, right?”

A few heartbeats passed as she waited for my answer. “Yeah.”

“Would you… like to do it again?” I crushed the ‘no’ before it wiggled loose. Mostly because I knew she wasn’t quite finished yet. “Maybe… with me joining in this time?” She brushed at her hair, eyes looking away. God damn was she cute whenever she brought out the bashful side. A treat considering how confident she normally was. Now that I thought of it, I was probably one of the few people—maybe the _only _person—who ever got to see this side of her. That brought a warm feeling to my chest. The heat on my face though? That was from something completely different.

“You want—” I didn’t get to finish. Kaylee picked up the slack easily enough.

“A threesome.” Such a casual statement as if discussing the weather.

“With your cousin.” A statement, not a question. Maybe a part of me was hoping that would discourage her. A long shot considering they’d already been intimate before I was in the picture, but it was the only thing my brain could manage in the moment.

“It doesn’t have to be her if you aren’t comfortable with that. There are plenty of other girls I could ask.”

“Umm…” I mumbled, trying to buy myself time. There was an expectation that she would save me. A simple, ‘think about it,’ would have given me the escape vector I desperately needed. The longer things drew out, I realized she wouldn’t be giving me one. This was something she wanted, and the ball was in my court now.

I picked at my spaghetti as if I would find my answer hidden away in my mostly eaten meal. I didn’t know how to answer. It had only been a week since I’d slept with someone other than Kaylee. I’d come to the conclusion that I didn’t regret what happened, but it wasn’t something I wasn't in a rush to repeat. Kaylee seemed to have other ideas.

“Why don’t we take a step back first,” she said with a brush of her hair. A breath of relief rushed out of me as I nodded. “Let’s try something easier. Who are some girls you’d like to sleep with?”

“That’s easier?”

The shy side of her was gone, replaced by the Kaylee I knew and loved. “I know you have some names.”

“I… don’t.”

She laughed. “I’m not going to get mad. Promise.” She was met with my silence. “Come on. Four—no three—Give me three names. Who knows? Maybe I can work some of my magic and make it happen.”

I frowned. “You’d do that?” She tilted her head in a silent question. “Hook up your boyfriend with other girls.”

“Hmm,” she hummed as she thought. Her eyes locked with mine. “I think some experience will do you good. Build your self-confidence.” She picked up her last onion ring. “Well?” she asked before taking a bite.

Shaking my head, I found that I had to repeat myself. “I don’t.” Her eyebrow quirked upwards. “What? I don’t. What about you?”

“Slept with most of the guys on my list,” she said, covering her mouth as she spoke. “There are a few I wouldn’t mind, but they are either in serious relationships or are crushing on me pretty hard.” Her nose wrinkled. “I avoid those like the plague. Tried that once, did not go well.”

“O-oh?”

The smile she gave made her eyes crinkle and make my heart race. “Yeah. He’s still hanging around me and is super clingy. Can’t get rid of him no matter what I do.” I stared at her, mouth slightly open before it dawned on me who she was talking about. Me. She was talking about me. “Yeah, you. Dummy,” she said, flicking a small piece of fallen breading from her plate at me before falling into a fit of giggles.

All I could manage was a good-natured grin. “Ha-ha,” I said, doing my best to sound monotone.

Letting her half-eaten onion ring fall to the plate, she leaned forward and rested her chin upon her folded hands. “Three names,” she said, holding her smile.

Once more, we were back to the issue. It wasn’t that I was shy about her question, but I really didn’t have what she wanted. Well, that wasn’t completely true. There were some girls who easily fell in my interests from a strictly physical perspective. My problem wasn’t necessarily telling Kaylee, it was the fear of what she would do with that information. They were fantasy’s I had no desire to make reality.

“Still no?” she said with a raised eyebrow. Sighing, she settled back in her seat. “Fine, fine. How about just telling me what your ideal girl looks like?”

“Kinda looking at her.”

She rolled her eyes. “Come on. I’m going super easy on you here.” She was sitting back up, an excited glint in her eye. “Imagine you had a character creator from one of your games and you were able to make your perfect girlfriend. What would she look like?” She waved off my response before I could even say something. “And no more about me. This is your fantasy girlfriend.”

I frowned. “What’s the point of this?”

“I wanna know your type.”

My frown deepened. “Going to try hooking me up with other girls?”

“No,” she said with a quick shake of her head. “I’m just curious about you.”

Taking a deep breath, I ran a hand through my butchered hair. After a few seconds, I began. “Black hair.” She perked up at the sound of my voice. “Black hair with green or blue eyes, though I’m probably going to lean towards green. Her hair would be longer than yours, but not by much more. Maybe a little past the shoulders? Ponytail's are kinda hot, so maybe that or a bun from time to time. Cute face. Height-wise, on the smaller side. Around your height, but maybe an inch or two more.”

“That’s a good start,” she said, giving me an encouraging look. “Body type?”

There was an itch on my cheek as I glanced away. “Something athletic like yours is…fantastic, but maybe something a little...softer? Not saying yours is bad—“

She held up a hand. “What about her boobs?”

“What about them?”

Her eye roll immediately answered. “Big, small, non-existent, what? Which kind do you like?”

“Actually, yours are perfect.”

Her eyes narrowed ever so slightly before she grinned, pointing at me. “You almost got me there.”

“Huh?”

“Did you forget I watched you and Kayla together? Yeah. I saw how you looked at them.”

“But that—“

Once more, she stopped me with a gesture. “I’m not mad. I one hundred percent agree. She’s got fantastic tits. Mine on the other hand…” Looking down, she let out a sigh.

“Kaylee.” She looked up at the serious tone of my voice. “Hers doesn’t hold a candle to yours.”

“Mine are so small though…”

“I like small—“

“So you do think they are small.” As if to emphasize her point, she cupped them with her hands.

“That’s not—” I stopped when I saw her smile. Dropping her hands, she leaned forward. “You are so frustrating,” I said, exasperated.

“And you are adorable when flustered, so it works perfectly!” Her grin made everything worth it and I found myself relaxing. The more questions she asked, the more comfortable I got. In the back of my mind, it was still odd to be talking about a fantasy girl with my actual girlfriend.

The conversation eventually evolved where she told me a little about her ‘perfect’ guy. Listening to her talk, I found her perfect guy and I had little to nothing in common—at least how she told it. Nothing she said was a surprise to me either, which I found myself strangely proud of that. I apparently knew her tastes better than I thought.

At the end of the meal, I was reflective as she paid the bill and we headed out to the car. Thinking back, Kaylee had stopped asking questions about what my fantasy girlfriend looked like fairly quickly. Most of the time, her questions had dug into what interests she had and how she would act in certain situations. I knew she wasn’t going to start emulating those things to be closer to my ‘ideal.’ That wasn’t Kaylee at all. It was just as she told me earlier. She was curious about me. What my thoughts were on certain things and what interested me.

The other thing that came to mind was the difference between our conversations. She had specifically asked about my perfect girlfriend, but when the conversation switched to her, she rather subtly indicated that she was talking about her perfect guy. Nowhere in that did she mention boyfriend at all. An important distinction since in her mind, the two weren't connected.

Considering everything we talked about, I found the situation rather funny in an ironic way. Kaylee was physically close to my ‘ideal’ sort of girl, but pretty far off from what my ‘perfect’ girlfriend would be. On the flip side, I was pretty close to Kaylee’s ideal boyfriend, yet was nothing close to her perfect guy.

We were making it work though. That was the important thing. Ups and downs aside, I was happier now than I’d ever been. I think Kaylee was too. This was the first time getting out on the dance floor, and stepping on each other’s feet was expected. That didn’t take away from the fun of the dance, or that the experience drove us to be better. We just need to take things step by step.