Kate and an Unhelpful Yelena

Yelena regarded the squirming, naked, shrunken Kate with curious eyes for a minute.

“How did you make it up onto the table?” Yelena said, eventually.

“Put me down! Put me down!” Kate squealed.

Yelena looked at her, considering, before deciding to delicately put her in a clear space on the table. Kate straightened, standing up, and trying to hide behind her arms - one over her boobs, one between her legs. She looked up at the towering Yelena with a blush.

“Did you shrink up there?” Yelena said. She looked down at the pile of clothes on the floor. “Does it shrink you based on where your hands are? That’s weird.”

“I climbed,” Kate said, her voice still unavoidably pitch-shifted. “Is it important?”

“Climbed?” Yelena said.

Yelena crouched. Kate watched the sea of blonde hair dip below the tabletop for a few moments, before she moved back up, eye level with Kate and face barely peering over the top of the table.

Kate looked nervously around the barren surface. It was a long way to the discarded arrows, and using them for cover felt dangerous.

“That’s actually impressive,” Yelena said. She squinted, as if gauging Kate’s height.

“Um. Thank you?” Kate said, still red.

Then Yelena stood up and turned around.

“Hey! Where are you going?” Kate called. “Yelena!”

She tried to be as loud as she could. Instead, she watched Yelena vanish into the distance. Her apartment really seemed so expansive like this.

Taking advantage of her momentary solitude, Kate looked frantically around the table - she spotted a bit of her sandwich wrapping, a little bit of greaseproof paper left on the tabletop. Kate hurried over to it, and crouched by the end of the billowing sheet. She knelt on one side, and used far more strength than she thought tearing paper would require to try and get a little bit of it.

When the thundering of footsteps grew louder, Kate panicked and rolled back, taking the too-flimsy strip of paper. She held it around herself like a towel, conscious of how an uneven tear still saw her leg peer out.

Yelena towered over her with a saucepan.

“I couldn’t find any tupperware,” Yelena said.

“Yeah, I don’t use that,” Kate said.

“You don’t have tupperware, Kate Bishop?” Yelena said. She gaped as though that was the shocking part of this whole situation. “That’s terrible. You really need to work on your kitchen.

“Not my biggest priority,” Kate said. “Hey! Hey, what are you doing?”

Her impromptu towel lasted less than a minute as Yelena reached down and picked her up again, unavoidably opening her arms and letting the paper drop. She lifted Kate up to eye level.

“Help me!” Kate squeaked.

“You’re adorable, Kate Bishop,” Yelena said. “I think I’ll keep you.”

“What- huh!” Kate managed to say.

Then she was dropped into the saucepan. Yelena looked down sympathetically at her.

“This would be more comfortable if you had tupperware,” she chided. “Stay still until we make it back to my place, Kate Bishop.”

“What?” Kate said, dumbly.

Yelena slotted the saucepan lid in place - it was metal, but had a small hole to let steam escape, leaving a little light reaching the naked Kate’s body. She stared in disbelief as the world outside blurred and Yelena started to walk down the stairs, keeping her safe in the pan.

Adorable? Keep her? Kate’s eyes went wide.

“Yelena! Hey! Yelena!” Kate squeaked frantically.

She wasn’t sure the assassin could even hear her.