Jonah Saltz, a university student looking forward to life.

The show opens with a wide establishing shot, showing what looks like a cheery ski resort somewhere in the Rocky Mountains. Colorful pennant flags whip in the wind, and many low buildings, styled to look like log cabins, line various lanes up and down the eastern peak of the central mountain. The buildings' windows glow with an orange warmth, and smoke rises from many chimneys, poking out from mounds of snow that cover the roofs.

We pan across the modestly sized resort, and run up the side of the mountain, white with snow and peppered with dark green firs. At the very top, there is what appears to be an ancient stone castle, but, on a close examination, the material is not quite right - plasticky, like a castle at Disney World - and electric fairy lights wind around the ramparts and turrets, blinking different colors. Through an open portcullis, we enter a courtyard, covered by a teal marquee. Beneath, a figure waits imperiously - a woman, it seems, entirely nude despite the gently falling snow, with pale skin and striking green eyes. Her steel-gray hair is wild and tangled, and drapes over her shoulders, just barely giving her a semblance of decency by covering her modest breasts. The hair does not cover the space between her legs - it is smooth, entirely, with no sign or scar of any human biology.

"Hello, again and for the first time, to the newest season of Harem Hotel," She says regally, with a light Gaelic lilt to her voice. "A show where we select a group of women to compete for love and devotion of a Master. My name is Ceth, and I am fortunate enough to be chosen as your host for this journey."

Her eyes gaze unblinking into the camera. "The Master of this particular hotel is named Jonah Saltz, a young man with his entire life ahead of him - a life that is about to become much more interesting." For the first time, a twinkle of mischief glimmers behind her cold visage. "Without further ado, let us meet... our Master."

******

"GRMPH." Jonah grunted as he dropped the last box onto Pepper's bed. The weight sunk into the mattress, and the springs creaked in protest. "Jesus, guys," he croaked, wiping sweat from his eyes, "y'all brought WAY too much shit with you."

"Lighten up!" Pepper's cheery voice called from beyond the doorway. "We're just about finished, and then we can start putting up all the decorations!"

Jonah groaned - and he wasn't the only one. "Come ON Pep," the voice of Dee called out, "can't we take a shower first? And maybe a nap?"

Jonah blew a sigh through his lips and walked into the combination kitchen and TV room, bracing his back with his hands. Boxes lined the wall, some open, most not. Pepper, her blonde-hair tied back behind her ears with a blue bandana, was on her knees, sorting a box of kitchenware into the cabinets. "Come on," she said over her shoulder. "We're gonna wanna get this over with now- at least, I know that if I lay down, I probs won't wake up for at LEAST thirty-six hours."

"Yeah Dee," said Siobhan, her usually pale face sunburned to a bright red that matched her shoulder-length hair. "Leave your TV boyfriend alone and pitch in already." She grabbed her water bottle from the counter and took a few big gulps.

"Ugh," Dee griped. She was laid out on a tacky red leather couch in front of a TV, her face shoved into a pillow with an oversized picture of Jerry Seinfeld's face. "This sucks. Remind me to kick Alex's ass the next time I see her."

"Her flight is supposed to - yeesh - to get in tomorrow evening," called out Aliyah, as she backed through a screen door, lugging a duffel bag. "Oof, Christ." She dropped the bag and grabbed a washcloth from her waistline and wiped off her coffee brown face, inhaling deeply. "As long as it doesn't get... delayed again, anyway."

"It's HER house!" Dee continued. "Why does she get to have us wheel in couches and washing machines and mattresses into HER OWN HOUSE?"

"It's our house too, Dee," Renée's neon pink hair was up in a messy bun as she sorted through a tangle of wires on the kitchen table. "And since her parents are also paying for nearly all the furniture, I think it's fair for us to do some manual labor."

"You're just saying that because you're DATING her," Dee complained. Renée ignored her - or maybe she was just too engrossed in the maze of cords to respond.

"Well, what about me then?" Jonah asked with a wry grin. "I'm not living here. Remind me why I'm doing this?"

"Because you LOVE us." Pepper teased in a sing-song voice.

"Because you wanted to play the big, strong, man," cracked Siobhan.

"Because we asked you," Renée said absent-mindedly.

"Because... I'll buy you a pizza," Aliya offered between gasps.

"Wha-?" Dee's head popped up, her brown bob of hair mussed in front of her face. "He's getting a pizza?"

"Yeah, and you're getting to LIVE here," Aliya rolled her eyes.

"Jesus Christ," Dee plopped her head back down. "I must've gotten heat stroke or some shit. I'm feelin' real light-headed."

"Complain all you want," Pepper said sternly, "you're not getting out of this! Though... I also, feel a little... tired." She grabbed at her water bottle, missed, and stared at it, confused.

"Yeah..." Aliya huffed, "I'm still... out of breath."

There was a loud BANG! as Renée's head collapsed onto the kitchen table. The other five looked at her, minds swimming.

"Should...Should we be...worried?" Siobhan said dully, her words slurring. Then Renée's body vanished from view.

"Wait... what?" Was all Jonah had time to say before everything was gone.