Jokin' around

*Chew* *Chew* *Chew*

"So uh-"

*Chew*

"Mistah' J," Harley said, lying sprawled on her back, chewing gum loudly to pass the time. "Something 'Amazing's' gonna happen right? Cause I-"

"Wait!" The Joker shot his head up, "Do you hear that Harley? I think it's the sound of someone doubting me - Not good - last time a man questioned me he woke up with tattoos on his face, and thus his dream of becoming an accountant was lost in the wind forever."

"Whaaaat?! No, darling, I can't say I do hear that."

"Oh really? Because I have a small itch telling me you're the one doubting me-"

"Sorry J, I don't know what you're on about." *Chew* *Chew* "Though, I will say that I'm a taaad bit tired of breaking out of Arkham, only to get locked back up in the slammer."

"Harley, Harley, Harley, Harley, Harley, Harley....This is why we make such a splendid team, you and I!"

"It is?"

"Indeed! I was thinking the same thing! But don't you see? Look around you, and tell me what's different about these cold, dark, cells."

"Well-" Harley said, leaning up herself to peer around her surroundings.

The cell was quite spacious, with plenty of light; and the bed seemed comfortable enough, hell, if she decided to lie down on it instead of the warm metal floor, she might have fallen asleep. Wait, warm floor? They even heat these cells to keep 'em room temperature?! Well, if she has to be locked up in another prison cell, at least this place respects their villains.

Even so, she trusts her lovely Mistah' J, don't get her mistaken, but they only just broke out of Arkham a few hours ago; what was J thinking, going to Metropolis?! They can barely get by with Bat's on the hunt, but Superman? Please, that blond guy ruins the fun, Batty-bo At least has the decency to let crooks try to shoot him. In Gotham, we had a chance, but Metropolis is an entirely different cookie. Of course, we weren't even stopped by Superman, whoever commits a crime in Gotham isn't worth his time; no, Blondie's little sister, or cousin, or- whatever, stopped us!

She zoomed in and lifted poor J off the ground by his violet suit jacket before he even hurt anyone, technically, we didn't even do anything wrong, so she had no right picking him up like that! All we got to do was set off a tiiiny little bomb in the park. The only thing caught in the explosion radius was a couple of trees, and since Ivy wasn't there, no one should have cared.

Of course, our handguns and gas bombs would do fiddly flop against that blond, blue girl; so surrendering was our only option; but, Mistah' J's the smartest, and the coolest, and the strongest man she knows, he should've expected one of those Kryptonians to show up.

Which begs the question, why? Why would he insist that we do something in Metropolis when Gotham is our place to party every other time? Because of that, the blond girl locked us up in the Watchtower! Of all places! At least Bat's throws us back in Arkham, ya' know, a place we could actually escape from. But these high-tech cells, however comfortable and economical, are literally impossible to break out of; these metallic walls could probably tank a nuclear explosion with ease. There's not even a cell door; in its place is a forcefield, a '****' 'field!'

We're gonna be stuck up here forever, or until Bats decides to move us back down to Arkham. Mistah' J keeps saying to 'Wait for it Harley.'

Wait for what!? For some reason, he just doesn't want to admit that he screwed up. Like she'd think any less of him. He could toss a basket of puppies out a window, shoot-up a nursing home, or tie weights to her ankles and drop her into the sea to die, and she would still love her pudding with all her heart. Something as small as getting them both locked up in a state-of-the-art prison cell won't change how she feels about him-

"Harley!"

"Hmm?"

"We've talked about this, stop staring off into space and monologing to yourself when I'm talking to you!"

"Oh- My bad puddin."

"It's just- not natural, your face goes all blank and- Look, I'm the weird one in this relationship alright!"

"Of course, you always are!"

"Hell yeah I am- Now are you planning on answering my question? Or-"

"Yes! Yes. Um-" Harley interacted before she realized she couldn't remember his original question. "W- What was it again?"

*Sigh*

"Once in a blue moon I find it quite humorous to let you come to your own conclusions, but I guess I need to stop overestimating you."

Quinn's eyes shot up in fear at his words, "No! Mistah' J! I'd do anything for you, you know that; you can trust me!"

"That's- Harley that's not even the point I was- Oh why do I even bother, you say I can trust you, yet you apparently don't have much trust in me. Frankly, it's disappointing, to say the least."

"I-"

"Don't bullshit me- I can see it plastered all over your cute little face. You don't believe me when I say 'Just wait for it.' Huh- Since you don't trust me, maybe I shouldn't trust you, we gotta keep it fair."

"No!" Harley says before crossing her legs beneath her "I will sit here, quietly and wait as long as it takes; I know you have something planned, you always do!" She brings her black-gloved hand to her red lips and zips her mouth shut silently.

"I don't know-" The Joker says with a questioning tone, "Of course I have something planned but- Well- It's a huge task, and I'd need someone I could trust." *Sigh* He rose from his sitting position in the cell opposite Harleys, turning around to face the wall. "Guess I can only depend on myself, so I'll have to do it alone."

Harley stared at him, turned away from her, poor Mistah' J; he trusted her, and she broke his heart. No- he's wrong! She can help, she needs to help!

"Nononono! Please! Let me help; I'll never question you again, no sir!"

"I don't know- This is a big task and I have a small itch telling me you're not up for it."

"Puddin- I'd do anything. For you."

"Even take on the entire Justice League?"

"Til my dying breath-"

"Well- Alright," He turned around with an unnaturally wide smile plastered on his face. "I'll give you one chance Harley; I trust you won't let me down."

"Oh thank you! Thank you! You know I won't let you down," Harley couldn't help but jump up and down like a little school girl, "And don't worry, I'll stay here waiting for anything you've planned."

"Well isn't that convenient?" The Joker said, raising his watchless wrist into vision. "Look like the time to wait for it is almost over!"

"It is?"

"Yep! If my internal clock is correct, everyone should be in the 'Hall of Justice' in about one minute, which is far enough from their Containment Facility to allow a miniature EMP to go off entirely unnoticed."

"But- How did you?"

"Oh- Just imagine it, Harley, If we succeed in bringing this piece of metal to earth; the resulting collision would have catastrophic results!"

"Wait wait how-"

"Even if we can't manage that feat, murdering all of the guests on board would suffice, either way, you spin it; the Justice League's name would be destroyed forever!"

"Okay! I get the plan, but- How? Harley said, flabbergasted. "I love your enthusiasm sweety, but it's the Justice League!"

"Yeah yeah, on normal circumstances such a dream would only stay a dream. But today is different; I've been planning this for months; everything's in motion and moving perfectly I might add!"

"How did you know of all this from inside of-"

"Shut up and let me finish!" *Achem* "I caught wind of a bizarre and mystical artifact and sent it off with one of Bat's more slippery adversaries. Just as I expected, that very magical artifact is the reason Bats, the man of steel, and the quick one are all in Gotham as we speak! Three of the more annoying superheroes out currently out of the action, which means-"

*Beep!* *Beep!* *Beep!*

Harley jumped at the sound of those strange beeps, Joker's rambling might've caused her to zone out. "Uhhh what was that?"

"Oh come on! I'm not done monologuing! That's the EMP's 30-second warning..."

"You still have time!" Harley said with encouragement.

"Okay okay, um so- Screw it, the moment's gone. Look, the point is, the annoying league members are absent; so we don't have to worry about a blue or red guy in tights ruining our plan before it even starts."

Awwww! He said 'our plan!' She's part of the team again! Which means she can't let him down again, she won't! No Sir Ree Bob!

"I'm all about being productive, and it'll be in our best interests if we split up; so I'll need you to-"

*badaboom!*

Zatanna looked up towards the boy from her position on the ground, her back beginning to strain under his weight. The sacrifices she is prepared to make for the greater good of humanity might surprise someone at first glance; there are so many better things for her to be doing at the moment. Preparing for her show tomorrow, studying in her library, Bruce could use a hand in rallying up the escaped convicts in Gotham. Her heart goes out to him, with the mask on he acts as if nothing's bothering him, and that he has everything under control; but under the mask, he's just a man, a man trying to hold the weight of his city on his shoulder.

It's hard to see a friend of hers go through that, especially when she can, and should be able to help. He's like the brother she never had, honestly, I'd be impossible to count the number of times he's had her back. But now when the time comes to return the favor, she's stuck on babysitting duty; what fun.

*Sigh*

At least she has a good reason, this kid's chaperone. He has way too much power at his disposal; it can and, most definitely will, get to his head at some point. Those earrings basically allow him to do whatever the hell he wants to whoever the hell he wants; it's only a matter of time before he abuses it. When he finally does crack and use its effects to satisfy his urges, she needs to be here to protect any bystanders from his actions.

If that means being his personal stool and sucking on her own breasts while he beats his meat to the line of girls slurping on Wonder Woman's tit, so be it. As long as she keeps him from abusing the power he holds, she can go to sleep knowing that people are safe. Even though she's confident that the kid won't try anything, especially knowing that she could stop him the second he crosses the line; a part of her brain is telling her that it's too late, that he's already abusing the earrings and changing the world around her. But it's too difficult to know whether she's just being paranoid or not.

Honestly, the more she thinks about it, the more her head begins to throb. She could merely accuse him of using the normality abilities to satisfy his perverted urges and use a spell to neutralize the magical effects. But then she'd have no evidence, and it could very well be that he's done nothing wrong; she'd be the villain in that situation, harassing a poor boy who just wants to walk around with his dick out and jack off to chicks through security cameras.

"Mmpf!" Zatanna gasps with through the breast lodged in her mouth as the hand the boy isn't using to masturbate lands on her butt with a hard slap. It was such a surprise she almost spat her tit out, since she's on all fours she had to use a simple spell to lift her breast into her open mouth.

Shaking her head, she ignored his hand as it crept down between her ass cheeks. She has to concentrate and not let him distract her. The thought crossed her mind that even if he did something devious with the earrings, she couldn't use any spell on him with her being unable to speak.

"Guuh! Fuck, this is so hot, Wonder Woman is an actual slut, look at her; she's letting every female guest suck on her tits like she's fucking breastfeeding em!" He looked down to Zatanna, stick sucking on her own breast. "Do you wanna suck on her tits too?"

She rolled her eyes at his remark, shifting her gaze back to the monitor; making sure no one is doing anything out of the ordinary.

"Hey, Zee! I'm talking to you! You can take your boob out of your mouth now."

Oh thank god, she spat out her breast instantly, a gooey string of saliva left behind on her chest.

"So like I was saying," He addressed her a second time. "Wanna suck on Wonder Woman's tits?"

Zatanna sighed, shaking a strand of hair out of her vision, "No can't say that I do," with how perverted he's acting, it's quite surprising that he's not even attempting to **** his newfound abilites.

"Yeah well, it's normal for you to find Wonder Woman sexy as hell."

"Yeah- Yeah," Zatanna said absently, ignoring what he said as her vision on the monitor zoomed into Wonder Woman, her slick black hair, perfect jawline, and plump lips. How she wishes she could have a taste of the goddess' divine lips, though; she'll never admit in fear of ruining their relationship. She'll sadly have to admire the heroine from a distance, shame she had to follow this brat around, if she were in that room it would be her sucking on those massive breasts.

"Oh?" The boy said, shifting his body from his sitting position on top of her to a laying one; pressing his surprising long member tightly against her rump. "I recognize that face you have there, I make the very same perverted face when I look at you! Or, well, I did- Now that I can have any part of you the novelty has partly warned off."

"I don't-" Zatanna studdered, "Don't compare me to you."

"I just did, watcha gonna do about it slut?" He leaned down towards her, licking the back of her neck, "Woah!" Shooting back away from her, he got to his feet, his penis bouncing between his legs. "Okay okay sorry that was rude, like ruder than I typically am; I tend to get bossy when I'm horny, you know, I actually respect woman."

"Oh really?" She said sarcastically, though, appreciating the lack of stress on her back.

"Yeah, yeah I-" His eyes roamed her body on all fours, eyes drawing to her perfectly presented posterior. "Can you blame me for getting aroused, look at what you're doing! I mean, yeah, I'm the reason any of this is happening but still-"

"God." She interrupted him, "You're too full of yourself, newsflash! You're just a normal kid, getting in over his head."

"Are you- Are you serious!? I- okay I don't understand how these earrings work from your point of view, but seriously, look down at yourself, do you not see anything wrong with your current situation?!"

"No, I do not." Zatanna doesn't bother to look at herself, the kid's merely trying to make her look like an idiot; deep down she can't wait for him to cross the line if only so she can finally serve him a dish of sweet justice. Until that happens, she'll stick by this pervert like glue. Hopefully, he'll pass by Wonder Woman, she'd love to-"

"Alright, if you actually do snap out of it somehow, I'll definitely regret pushing you, but I need to know-" He backed up, until he pumped into the computer console behind him, his eyes never parting from her ass. "So- Wonder Woman, she's hot right?"

Zatanna's brain clouded, imagining Wonder Woman's naked figure in all it's majestic glory, oh what she'd give to be in that room with those other girls, sucking on those tits till she succumbs to slumber.

"Y- Yasss- She's so- s-" Shaking her head, she blinks the fog away. "No, she's- well yes, she's a beautiful teammate, and I respect-"

"Yeah yeah whatever, so-" He walked over to Zatanna's head, leaning down on his knees to get to her eye level. "I'm going to ask you two questions, and it's normal for you to answer them honestly."

"Sure." Zatanna rolled her eyes at his attempt to use the earrings, this proves that he's fully aware and is trying to **** its powers, yet he keeps screwing up by saying things that are already true. How could he be that stupid? Be that as it may, it's best to let him think he's actually changing reality, it's better than having him fuck the world up beyond repair.

"Okay," He spoke slowly as though she was a baby, he should really speak with more respect, she's the adult here. "Um- Wonder Woman's superhero name is- well- Wonder Woman. Correct?"

He really is an idiot. Of course, it is, he has the opportunity to ask her anything, and she'd answer truthfully because it's normal for her too. Yet, his question was that? Not, what's Wonder Woman's secret identity? Or what's the code to the Justice League's secret vault?

"Yes, of course, her name's Wonder Woman, it's been that for years. That's seriously your question?"

"Alright, now, listen to me closely," He moved his face closer to hers, close enough for her to smell his horny sweat. "You know what these earrings can do- I'm going to use them to change Wonder Woman's name, to Wonder Slut." He paused as if he said something damming.

What's his deal? So what if he changes Wonder Woman's name, as long as he doesn't **** the normality powers she couldn't care less.

"It's normal for Wonder Woman's superheroine name to be Wonder Slut." He said bluntly, eyeing her the whole time. "Now, Zatanna, what's Wonder Woman's superheroine name?"

"Who's Wonder Woman? Do you mean Wonder Slut?"

"Okay, just like that, I lost any form of respect I might've had for you and your magical abilities; you're just as fucking useless as everyone else."

"Mmhmm" She mumbled, "Whatever you say ki-MMmmmmfp!" She was caught off guard by his forceful kiss, as he pressed his face hard against her soft lips. His tongue, forcing its way into her mouth dancing across hers. She continued to hold her stance on all fours, not resisting his mouth nor humoring him, her best bet is to ignore him and hope he gets bored.

Idly glancing to the security monitors, hoping to get another glance at Wonder Slut, and perhaps imagine the goddess kissing her with her lovey lips and not this perverted teenager.

That's when she saw something, something abnormal, finally. Finally! Proof! Proof that this boy is abusing his powers.

"Pots dna dnats ta noitnetta!" Zatanna said with closed eyes after pushing herself away from boys face. Ignoring the stream of seliva left on her bottom lip.

Instantly, he was standing at attention, arms to his side unable to move, a faint blue glow keeping him ensnared.

"You think I wouldn't notice," Zatanna said with a huff, fixing up her hair, and adjusting her corset to prevent one of her nips from showing. "Well, you finally screwed up!" She moved her hands below her bust, pushing her chest up and causing her breast to giggle as if they're on a plate.

"Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit! Was the kiss too much!? I take it back.

"I did warn you not to **** the power those artifacts granted you, you could've used them for good." She shakes her head in disappointment. "But I can't let you change the world for your own gain, no matter how normal it feels to let you get away with it."

"Wait wait wait! What set you off!? I've been doing so much fucked up shit with you around, and you didn't care then, what's different now?"

"Oh honey, don't play dumb, you know what you did. Don't worry, I want you to keep the earrings of course, but I'm going to put an enchantment around them, to keep their effects contained."

"But- No!"

"Sorry kid you're not the one calling the shots here-"

"It's normal for you not to do that!"

"Oh, I guess you're right, nevermind I won't put an enchantment around them. I guess I'll have to think of something else to-"

"Wait are you- Are you fucking serious!? That worked!? So you didn't break free of the effects?

"What? I was never under your control to begin wi-"

"Shut up, it's normal for you to release me and tell me what caused you to freak out."

Zatanna snapped her fingers, letting him free. "I saw that man in the corner of the room, look-" She pointed with her wand that appeared out of seemingly nowhere.

The boy squinted and looked to where she was pointing, and once he noticed it he burst out laughing, "Oh my- Oh my fucking god! Bahahahahaha! That obese guy eating lasagna in the corner?! Seriously, look, I had nothing to do with his addiction, he's just a dope."

Zatanna brought her hands to her hips, "He shouldn't be in there, only females should currently be in the Hall of Justice, all the men must be continuing the tour."

"Yeah yeah, I'm aware," He said, "I made that happen for god-sake, I have no idea why he didn't leave with the rest of 'em, but I also don't understand half the shit he does; the man just likes lasagna leave him be."

"But-"

"In fact, it's normal for no one to care about him."

"Oh." Zatanna blinked, her argument and reasoning for being upset vanishing entirely. "You-You're right, I'm sorry, I guess I was so keen on finding something out of the ordinary, I wasn't thinking straight."

"Meh, it's okay. Just remember, it's normal for you never to try to encase my normality abilities ever again."

"Of course, I won't. God, I feel so embarrassed, freaking out over nothing."

"Yep," He said, striding over to Zatanna and shoving a hand into her corset to grab a handful of her tit. "Nothing out of the ordinary happening here-" His hand stopped squeezing, as he saw something on one of the monitors, Zatanna spotted it too. "Is that camera supposed to go out? And that other one? And- All of them are going out! Cause, I didn't do that."

"No..." Zatanna mumbled, "That's- Oh no, those- those cameras were all broadcasting from the Containment Facility!"