Join Mars and Valentine’s Quiet Conversation

“Somehow, I don’t think that’s going to work on him,” you hear Valentine saying.

Mars hums for a second, the two girls looking intently at Val’s phone, and then she nods in agreement.

“Okay, so we need to come up with something better,” she says.

The two girls glance at each other and fall into a silence, each nursing their drink.

“What’s the question?” you ask, taking the chance to enter the conversation.

Mars laughs, saying: “Oh, just some girl stuff, we can chat about something else.”

“I didn’t realize this was such a secretive conversation,” you say, raising an eyebrow.

“We can tell you, it’s not something I’m trying to hide,” Val laughs. “You might even have some ideas for me. You’re a guy, after all.”

“That I am,” you agree.

“So here’s the deal,” Val says. “I matched with this guy on Bumble, and you know how it goes, I have to be the one to message first. Mars and I were brainstorming what to text him, but we haven’t come up with a good opening line. Got any ideas?”

“Let me take a look,” you say, and Val passes you her phone.

You swipe through the profile. The guy is a generic looking frat boy at UFranklin, good looking enough. There’s the usual pics, him with friends or at parties, nothing you haven’t seen before. The last photo is a fun photo of him on a farm, hugging a pig. Cute.

“I don’t get it,” you say. “Just be forward with him. Any pick-up line will do.”

“That’s obvious, it’s a one night stand,” Val laughs. “The question is, which one should it be?”

“I think what Val is trying to say is, we know anything is probably going to work, but she wants to be slightly wittier than that,” Mars says.

“Ah, you’re looking for an actual pick-up line, not just the typical ‘Hey’,” you say.

“Exactly, you get it,” she says. “So… got any ideas?”

You pass Val’s phone back to her, that last picture of the guy and the pig still showing.

“How about this: I can show you how to properly squeeze a hog ;)”

Val and Mars look at each other, twin smiles mirrored on their faces.

“I think Alex nailed it,” Mars says, and Val nods.

“Sent,” she says, a few seconds later.

It doesn’t take long for the guy to reply. As you expect, the response is positive, and Val and the guy are texting away. You and Mars chat about the events of the day, until Val suddenly perks up, grinning at the two of you.

“He’s got a frat event, guys only, until midnight or so, but we’re meeting up after that,” she says, knocking back the rest of her mug of beer. “All thanks to you, Alex.”

“You’re full of shit,” you laugh. “You could have sent literally anything and the result would have been the same.”

“Nah, I can tell he wasn’t planning on going out tonight until he saw your message,” she says.

Mars gives Val a skeptical look.

“I’m with Alex on this. You can pull any guy you’d want, don’t sell yourself short,” Mars says.

Val laughs saying: “Trust me, I’d lie if I could, but I’m just reporting what he told me. He was ready for a cozy night in until he got my text.”

“Why would you want to lie about that?” you ask, bemused.

“Yeah, now we owe Alex another one,” Mars says, rolling her eyes at Val. “I swear, sometimes I feel like you just serve up Alex these chances on a platter.”

“Hey, he helped me get mine tonight, it’s only right that I help him in return,” Val says.

“Yeah… I’m not convinced,” Mars says.

“Come on, don’t be a spoilsport,” you laugh. “You’ll get your time in the sun too.”

Secretly, though, you’re pumped. Tonight could be the night that you make use of your deal with Mars and Valentine.

Mars +5
Valentine +5