Jesus and How Christianity Became So Successful

In this reality (and across the multiverse), the story of Jesus and Christianity is largely the same.

However, what drew people to Jesus and later Christianity in this reality was not just his miracles and teachings, but also because during His life, Jesus was the only man who spent zero time fucking or showing any romanic interest in anyone. To us this might not seem like a big deal until you remember the kind of world this is.

According to The Gospels, whenever Jesus spoke, those who actually wanted to listen were able to free themselves from the shackles of sexual bondage long enough so that they could hear Him. Not only that, but for the several days that Jesus delivered the Sermon on the Mount, not one instance of sexual activity took place. This is why sexual activity is frowned upon during church services (though unfortunately it is fully allowed and even encouraged in Progressive & LGBTQ+-friendly churches).

Unlike the pagan religions of the time which believed that their gods were just as horny and sexually active as they were and therefore it was ok for them to give in to their most depraved & degenerate sexual desires (you know exactly what I mean by that), monotheistic faiths like Judaism, Zoroastrianism and later Christianity and - to some extent - Islam, believe that God is so powerful & perfect He is above sex, hence the Immaculate Conception & Virgin Birth.

In Buddhism it's similar cause according to Buddhist teaching, once you reach nirvana, you are no longer a hypersexual being and can finally experience true happiness. In Islam, one of Allah's 1,000 names is Aleadhra' Al'abadia (Eternal Virgin), which is shared in both Judaism and Christianity as one of His official titles.

According to the Torah/Old Testament, the Messiah was prophesied to be, among other things...

"A man of virgin birth, who while of flesh, would not partake in the pleasures of the flesh."

So when Jesus was born and later did His thing, His followers knew He was the real deal.

It also makes His betrayal and crucifixion slightly more humorous cause even though He was the Son of God - a man of flesh who did not partake in the pleasures of the flesh - the Jews still had Him killed since He came down from Heaven to be the spiritual savior that they needed instead of the military savior that they wanted, even though anyone with a brain knows that suffering in life is temporary; suffering in Hell is forever. It's all good though cause in the end, God always gets the last laugh.

Another reason why Christianity spread like wildfire and today has 4.8 billion followers across the globe is because it's the only faith that actively encourages monogamy and some degree of self control. Becoming a Christian won't magically make you less hypersexual, but it will help guide you away from partaking in more sinful sexual activities/lifestyles. If you accept Christ, not only will you enter the Kingdom of Heaven, where all your Earthly physical & hypersexual needs are washed away, but after the Second Coming - when Satan is finally defeated and God establishes His Heavenly Kingdom on Earth, humanity will no longer be slaves to the consequences of Adam & Eve's original sin. This is a message that most everyone can get behind.