JerkGently's Furry Box of Odds and Ends, by JerkGently

The box is a warm, safe place. Welcoming. Inviting. Embracing. Here I shall place erotic musings that seem to have or need no greater context. Simpler things, but precious nonetheless.

“Oh, look. More random stuff from Jerk so that he doesn’t need to write the Sissy Story!”

“Indeed. And we are scrapping the bottom of his creative well with this one. JerkGently's Furry Box of Odds and Ends, by JerkGently is a collection of short stories and *shudder* poems.”

“I hate short stories, Marcie. Almost as much as long stories.”

“He also claims that this is a collection like no other. We see about that.”

“And since this is a bunch of stories, we’re getting to actually pick and choose here. Hmm…”

“Those are some interesting choices, but knowing you...”

“I wanna do the starfighter one!”

“As expected.”

READING IN PROGRESS (BGM)

So Rhea fucked her ship… or let it fuck her, depending on the vast multitude of routines and settings she had programmed in. Regular physical exercise was important when you were floating around in zero-g all the time, so she bucked and heaved her hips down against the dildos in furious, panting effort every few hours. Yet, having that constant, intimate connection with her hand-built machine had become almost addictive over the years. She barely ever took the things out any more, finding their swollen, internal presence comforting in a way. As if while between the stars her and her vessel were just one entity… or some such shit.

“This is new.”

Now, however, she was headed toward two more awake and aware, and much better equipped opponents. By the look of their sleek vessels, Rhea guessed Cartel or Syndicate…

“Why is there always a cartel or syndicate in these space stories?”

“Because that just goes together, Gina. I guess you could say...crime just has a space in it.”

“...,so this horny slut fights off some pirates while getting fucked by her ship. And by fighting off, I mean ****. She fucking blows them up! While getting off! It’s super erotic!”

“Your predilection towards brutal bounty hunters always worries me, Gina.”

“Yeah but then the story just ends! What the hell! Even Ted's space story is longer and Ted's a lazy fuck!"

“Well, it is supposed to be a short story.”

“But not that short! We didn’t even get to the lesbian sex!”

“Not every space story needs to have lesbian sex in it.”

“That’s a stupid space story!”

“Also the opening lied to me. This was perhaps warm but it certainly was not safe.”

“Fucking hell. Now, I’m all pent up for nothing! Stupid Jerk!”

“Well, you know the drill, Gina. Since we have not reached ten chapters deep, we will pick another branch. This time, I choose.”

“You better pick something good.”

“Let us go with “A witch wanders in”. I like witches.”

READING IN PROGRESS AGAIN(BGM)

The gusts were definitely picking up now, as Kinki's course was tossed to and fro at turbulent random. Her lumpy, twisted sprig of pine (or ‘broomstick’ according to popular belief) wrenched obstinately beneath her bare arse. There were all manner of salacious rumours about the unholy strength of a witch's thighs… many of them true… but it certainly didn't hurt that locking them in tensely was all that kept you from falling to certain **** on occasion. Several well-worn nodules were also rubbing themselves quite vigorously against her sensitivities, sending shivers up Kinki's spine. Perhaps earning pleasure from a shaft of knobbly wood might seem unfeasible for a lesser woman… but when one regularly cavorts with demons, splinters seem like a small fear.

“We get quickly introduced to our main protagonist Kinki, JerkGently claims that this is a spoof of the Ghibli movie “Kikki’s delivery service” but the author has clearly never seen anything of that movie beyond the feet licking scene.”

“What the fuck.”

“Indeed. So, Kinki decides she wants some fun this fine evening and invades the bedroom of a hapless schoolteacher, which she quickly commences to ****.”

For the first time in her life, Maude had felt another person's hand crawling its way up her inner thigh. Felt it find those secret folds she had been told to guard against all and any wants or lusts. Felt her own absolute readiness to let this complete stranger break that thrice-damned taboo. Felt her own liquid eagerness to be freed from the shame and chain of chastity. When the woman's digits had reached a certain point near the top; Maude's mind had gone white. Her every inch awakening and muscle clenching in electrified shock and pleasure. Never had anyone's physicality burrowed into her own in such a way, and plucked on her soul like a harp. She heard her own mouth release a series of moans wholly beyond the scope of decency… and knew immediately she would give anything to be made to coo so again.

“Well, Gina?”

“What?”

“JerkGently finally gave you what you craved. A proper non **** lesbian scene.”

“Uhu”

“Did you enjoy it?”

“NO!”

“Huh.”

“This shit is like a mental lock, Marcie. If I don’t masturbate to an author after four tries, it’s over.”

“Is that how it works?”

“It’s his fault! Jerk has conditioned me to not masturbate to his stuff with his man-cream’s and mauling sabretooths.”

“Hm, I must say that does not really sound fair to JerkGently.”

“Also, it’s too consensual for me.”

Oh, I suppose that is fair.”

“You’re a witch! The least you could do is tie your partner up with magic ropes!”

“Alas, Kinki is too nice for that. She also is not too keen on just keeping to one partner either.”

“So, next morning the witch bitch walks around naked in town and everyone freaks out!”

“As is to be expected perhaps. As is that Kinki ends up getting arrested by the local lawman.”

“Oh come on!”

“What is it, Gina?”

“Kinki isn’t using her magic to cuff the police officer with her own handcuffs! Also the police officer is male!

“While I do not take offense with the physiology of the constabulary, I do partially agree with your other grievance. Kinki is dominant in her sexual pursuits but in a very roundabout fashion. Some may enjoy this but I prefer a more direct show of power in my witch related pornography.”

“Right. Well, neither of us will get what we want, because the school teacher comes to the rescue and Kinki is released from custody.”

With breaths already catching, Maude let the waves of sensation take hold of her. She took hold of one of her spilling breasts in one hand, squeezing more answers from it, and wound the other into Kinki’s wild, dark hair. Nearby, she heard the pastor muttering a prayer under his breath. A whispered rhythm that might have been encouragement or condemnation but kept escalating pace either way. The fluid movement of that muscle lapping between her thighs was met almost immediately by lurid wetness from her own crevices. Dams bursting from the nervous exhilaration and anticipation that had been building from the very moment she had stepped out the door that morning. The awareness that she was dripping her own juices onto holy marble in open view of a crowd of her peers, only adding to the flood.

“If I had a nickel for every time we read a story were a couple had intercourse in a church I had two nickel, which is not a lot and it is weird that it only happened twice.”

“It’s also less **** then what Selfie wrote, which pisses me off. Don’t lose to Selfie, Jerk! She uses the word mauling in a sexual way!”

It made no difference to her whether her woven glamour gave the onlookers some sanitized pastiche of this scene or if their own desires were unveiling the naked, honest truth.

“I have to say, I find it a bit of a pity that the story reveals that glamour was actually real.”

“Who cares?”

“I do. While it was clear that Kinki was a witch, up until that point it was kept ambiguous if she used a spell or if the people of this town are just a horde of sexual repressed deviants.”

“Marcie, it is almost certainly both.”

“I concur.”

“Let’s do one more.”

“Oh? We have reached ten chapters, you know.”

“Shut up. I’m unsatisfied. Let’s read the horror story about the trucker next.”

“If I had a nickle for every time a JerkGently story started with the protagonist riding a vehicle…”

“SHUT UP! HORROR STORY! NOW!”

READING IN PROGRESS AGAIN (BGM)

She appeared from the gloom like a new star in the darkening sky. The pale flash of bare legs caught on the periphery of my old truck's headlights. For just a moment… I thought some spirit of the plains and swamps and ancient creeks had stepped forth to call an ageing trucker out from this world. So unfathomable was it that such a creature might be walking down the same dreary, back-end roads that I so often followed. Trudging through all the mud and rain and filth that we other mere mortals stir about.

"Ok, that's not a bad start. I like how creepy it is."

"I am happy you are enjoying this Gina."

"So, this is about a trucker who takes a mysterious passenger and then she suddenly strips and what the... THIS IS NOT A HORROR STORY AT ALL! FUCK YOU, SARCKLE!”

“Well, I can see how the set up tricked you, Gina. But no, this one is actually fairly down to earth. No crazy bountyhunters or witches. Just some philosophical trucker and his hitchhiker.”

I recovered our course, by muscle memory and the skin of my teeth. Yet, the girl barely gave a glance upward. She was already moving down to further tasks. Wriggling her half-naked self out of those tightened, wet shorts with a struggle that called to mind all the greatest steps in our evolution up till now. Like a fish first breaking the surface and clambering its way onto land… that teenage beauty took a step forward that could never again be reversed or forgotten. Revealing to me the pristine vision of a pair of red and lacy panties. She shimmered, there in the dirty confines of my old truck’s cab. Unveiled in a way that made everything else seem grey and distant. It was oil and water, almost… a vision in the foreground that simply could not co-exist with her surroundings.

“Fucks sake. Is this guy wannabee shakespear or something?”

“Thespian vernacular notwithstanding, he sure is about to get his spear shaken!”

“…”

“Nobody appreciates my genius...”

Confident that such was enough to make it clear I was trying to sneak a peek of a half-naked young lady urinating.

“I am unsure if this a rare JerkGently mistake or intended perversion. What do you think, Gina?”

“It’s probably both.”

“Gina, that does not work here.”

“Ugghhhh, I don’t care, Marcie! And I don’t care about this stupid story of an old trucker fucking a slut on his truck!”

“Well, the story is just about to reach its climax. Heh.”

“So, they are having sex, the old guy is happy and then she just fucks off with some other guy.”

“Indeed.”

“She didn’t even like vanish in the mist or something. That was not horror at all.”

“No, Gina.”

“Haaa…”

“You sound frustrated.”

“I told you, I hate short stories. Especially when they are actually good!”

“Oh, you enjoyed them?”

“I liked the space lady who blew up people and the witch was cute. Didn’t care about the trucker fucker.”

“Hmm, this would be the part were I air my grievances in a concise manner but...it is remarkably hard to find fault with JerkGently’s work. My only complain is indeed that I would have liked to read more about Kinki or the space pilot. Oh, and the chapter titles for both the Space and Trucker story were rather drab. And I suppose I will take offense at the fact that the title is called Furry Box despite not featuring a single furry.”

"You done?"

“I suppose. To summarize these are some fine reads, that perhaps can be expanded upon. But I think we can close it here. Good night everyone.”

“I DIDN’T GET OFF THIS TIME EITHER!”