Jane rehearses for date

"No, no, that's stupid," Jane muttered to herself. "He'll think I'm mocking him."

Clearing her throat, Jane tried again. "Hello, Tarzan. I've fallen in love with you and your life here in the wild jungle. So, that's obviously why I'm naked - DAMMIT!"

Jane kicked the water she was standing in out of frustration. She sat down on the riverbank and groaned into her hands. "For heavens' sake, why am I so bad at this?! Tarzan only knows what clothes are because of me! He never wears them! And he's seen me naked hundreds of times!"

When she had come to explore the jungle, Jane only had dreams of learning more of the world and returning home to tell fantastic stories. Instead, she ended up meeting a naked Wildman raised by the animals of the jungle. As she taught him about humans and civilization, he taught her about the jungle and how to survive. It seemed as though falling in love was inevitable.

Somehow, their love came with countless embarrassing adventures. A carefree swim began with her losing her dress on a branch and skinny dipping with the man she named Tarzan. Trying to befriend the baboons ended with them tearing off her dress and playing with what remained. Merely mentioning the "Leopard Incident" made her blush like mad. It was a good thing she had packed so many clothes.

The one and only time she took her clothes off willingly was when Tarzan took her swinging through the jungle on vines. Something about feeling the air on her bare skin made her feel...alive. More than anything ever had before. That night, she and Tarzan confessed their love, and she taught him how humans made love under the starry sky. It was that same night that she decided she wanted to stay with Tarzan in the jungle. It wasn't until after they returned to camp and ran into her friends that she remembered she was naked.

Jane glanced down at the leaf she was using to hide her womanhood and threw it away in disgust. She was never going to be able to survive in the jungle like this. Tarzan had lived all his life fighting leopards, taming elephants, and becoming a king of the jungle to rival the lion. How could she be his queen if something as basic as her own body made her feel shame?

She washed her hands in the river and splashed some water on her face. Standing up straight, she tried her hardest to imagine Tarzan was standing in front of her, sharing in her nudity. "Okay...let's try this again!"