It probably could have been worse…

I desperately tried to find less obviously Pokémon themed cloths, my confidence in its ability to make friends now thoroughly destroyed. But the Pokéball T-shirt was easily my most subtle shirt already, and the skirt wasn’t obviously Pokémon until you got close enough to see what the little pictures were. I did leave the Pikachu jacket behind, its bright yellow stood out too much. But I didn’t have the confidence to be seen without some extra covering so I pulled out a Snorlax jacket. It is a bit too heavy for this weather, but its blue and tan color scheme look pretty normal and the Pokémon branding isn’t as obvious on it. I could even zip it up to cover my shirt… if I was cool with sweating to ****.

I made it to all my classes today. And sat in the back of every one of them. I did finally see some Pokémon on someone besides myself, but it was just an eraser. I did get some odd looks, but I also got some compliments that I nervously squeaked out responses to. So I feel conflicted. Clearly Pokémon aren’t what everyone is into in college like my cousin said… but it’s just kind of acceptable. I don’t think anyone has made fun of me yet, at least not to my face. Okay. Keep the Pokémon. It’s a little late to avoid being known as the Pokémon girl, but if I don’t talk about them and just act like it’s normal to have opinions about whether Plusle or Minun is cuter than the other, despite being nearly identical, then maybe I can still make friends.

But first I need to go talk to the housing office. I make it through my classes without seeing Professor Hemlock, as I don’t have her class until tomorrow. Although come to think of it, none of my other professors wore her big white jacket. I knew that’s not actual professor cloths, but I guess I just forgot in my excitement to see her wearing it. Maybe her class will have a lot of lab work. Oh well. My living situation needs to be solved.

I make my way to the office, and timidly ask for help. “Um, excuse me. I was here yesterday? About my room?”

“Oh yes, I remember you. Still no open dorms. One probably will open up this first week… but if not you will need to find new living arrangements. The first week is usually when someone’s plan goes off the rails and rooms become available. After that it’s very rare for someone to give up their dorm. And the school is only paying for Professor Hemlock’s hotel until the end of the week, when she should be able to move in to her new house. She might choose to pay out of pocket to stay for longer if the house isn’t ready, but you’d have to ask her about that. We do have the contact information for nearby apartments, here let me get those for you.”

I took the contact information, knowing I wasn’t going to call any of them. It just seemed rude to not take them. I had been assured that I qualified for a free dorm room. It’s part of the reason I came to this college. I didn’t have to look at apartments to know I couldn’t afford them, I basically had enough for food and some basic school supplies, and no more. Even my food budget was heavily subsidized by a free food service on campus. And even if I did have the money, I was too exhausted after my first day to talk to a stranger on the phone.

So I just begin to drive to the hotel. I need my bed. I need to destress. Maybe once I’ve recharged with cuddles I can call my parents and beg them for way more money on top of what they were already paying. The thought gives me shivers down my spine just thinking about it. They were so proud of how much help I’d earned to reduce the cost of my college. The thought of asking them for money both made me feel like a financial burden and like I wasn’t as good and smart as my high school counselor told my parents I was. I was going to burden them and disappoint them at the same time. I get out of my car thinking of my future phone call… and realize five plushies won’t be enough.

I open the back door to grab one of the big black bags. I close the door and make my way up to the room… with two big black bags. Professor won’t be back for a while. I can hide them under my bed before she gets back. I make my way inside, accidentally slamming the door shut in my haste to be out of the public space. I rip open both bags and free all of my friends onto the bed. I throw away the bags, take a quick shower to make sure I don’t get my little pals dirty, and then hop into bed with all of them while still naked.

I find my Pikachu hooded onesie and put it on while still in bed, not bothering with underwear. It’s not like I have huge breasts that need a bra and I like the feeling of the soft fabric. Then I begin hugging each and every one of my plushies in Pokédex order, starting with Bulbasaur (don’t get me started on Victini, he’s cute but just don’t). After a quick hug I put each down next to the last I hugged, thus organizing them. I have to leave more spots empty than I would like… I shake my head to keep myself from feeling the pull of my car’s trunk. Besides, I would still be missing some. So this is fine. Totally fine. As I cuddle Victini to let it know it’s Pokédex number doesn’t keep me from loving it too, Professor Hemlock walks in.

I freeze. She freezes. Victini freezes. There is an awkward silence leaving only the sound of my heart trying desperately to make my head explode with embarrassment. I don’t think I can move, my limbs helplessly clutch Victini to my chest as I think about how his Pokédex entries about bringing victory to those around them are clearly all lies. I don’t know what to do to make her forget about my small mountain of Pokémon, but then she finally just walks over to the table she keeps her laptop on and sits down to do… Professor things I guess. Grade papers? No, it’s the first day. But as she continues to ignore the child clearly pretending to be a college student she’s stuck with, I… begin to relax, sort of.

She saw me in the most embarrassing position I’ve ever been in and is happy to ignore me. Whatever consequences there are to her opinion of me as a student are yet to be seen, but I also can’t do anything about it. I’m still anxious about it, but the cure to my anxiety is hugging my plushies which got me into this mess. I feel like I’ve reached a balancing point where I care enough about her opinion of me for it to fuel my need for comfort, but not enough to stop me from seeking that comfort. And so… I silently resume rubbing my face against Victini’s ears.

Unfortunately this means I no longer gain anything from it. The comfort of my plushies relieves the anxiety of needing the comfort of my plushies in a never ending loop of cuddles. So I am not calling my parents today.

“I’m ordering food again. Do you have a preference?”

I’m caught off guard by the question. I thought she was going to never speak to me again, or at least not tonight, or at least not while I was making Charmeleon hug Charmander and imagine they were brothers.

“Um, no. But I’m fine. I had a big lunch.”

“Nonsense, you need dinner. First day of college is stressful, and the second is about the same. I’ll just get us more pizza.”

I can’t help but smile happily. More pizza is nice, but more importantly she’s acting like I’ve been perfectly normal this whole time. Realizing I’ve lost control of my mouth, I at least try and hide the smile behind Charmander before responding, “Okay. That sounds good.”

When the food arrives she calls me over, “come eat at the table. You wouldn’t want to get your toys greasy.” Of course she’s right, so I happily hop over in my onesie. As I sit down and begin eating I see her smile… and I realize why she doesn’t seem to care. I’m short, I’m literally wearing children’s pajamas, and I’m happily playing with a mountain of plushies. She may not have an opinion of me as a student yet, but she definitely thinks of me as a child. Which is why she’s making sure I eat dinner. Embarrassed but still happy to have pizza and someone whom I can be myself in front of, I continue to munch my pizza. I will just ignore that her acceptance of me came at the cost of her likely ever respecting me as an adult. She’s just my professor. Soon we’ll only See each other in class and I can work on gaining back her respect then. For now, pizza. And then, since her opinion of me can’t get worse, I can check on my Nintendo Switch to see if there are any rare Pokémon for me to catch in the latest event.

And so after eating and washing my hands, which she unnecessarily reminded me to do, I sit on my bed with my back against the headboard, pile several Pokémon on my lap so they can watch, and begin playing my Switch. No new events, but I spend an hour using the touch screen to pet and pamper my team. It’s not optimal at all, but Tinkaton is so cute with her hammer. I bet her and Mawile would make good friends.