And helplessness

The week carries on. I can’t bring myself to call my parents. Every time I think about it my throat clamps shut. No. This is fine. I’m already the Pokémon girl, I don’t think anyone will update my image to the homeless girl even if they do see me sleeping in my car.

Professor Hemlock was nice and professional in class. I started to doubt we knew each other at all, especially since she wasn’t wearing her white lab coat. I guess she only wears it during labs… or when relaxing at home? Oh well. I’d probably wear a lab coat at home too if I had one. Still, she looked nice in her brown camisole and long black skirt. I think she looked better in the pants she normally wore at home, but this was nice too.

Hers was my last class of the day, and I’m surprised when she asks me to stay behind. I wait patiently while the other students file out. Finally we are alone. “Tomorrow is the last day I’ll be staying in the hotel. I’m moving to my new house then. Technically the room is still mine until Saturday morning, but either way you’ll need to be out. Have you managed to find other housing?”

I looked at my feet in shame. She was worried about me. “Yes. I’ll be out Saturday morning then, if that’s fine with you.” It wasn’t technically a lie. What is housing if not shelter from the elements. My car has a roof, I’m covered.

“Oh good, did a dorm open up, or were you able to get an apartment?” Please turn off your mothering instincts! Let me wallow in my self pity at my problems that I’m making worse by being me!

“Yeah, um. I will be staying at the dorms. It will make it easy to make it to class on time.” If I park in the dorm parking lot, this is also not a lie.

“Well okay. Sounds great. I’m happy it worked out. I’ll see you tonight.” She smiles beautifully at me, and I feel like dirt for misleading her. But I’d feel even worse if she knew I was in trouble in part because I was too cowardly to call home.

But it’s fine. I’ll just live in my car. Forever. I’ll get a job… that is both entry level and good enough to get an apartment with part time pay… and doesn’t require an interview that I would definitely fail. So yeah. Car forever. Maybe I can get a little electric skillet or something. Like camping gear. It would be cheaper than an apartment… I’m going to be a campus hobo. I can see it now, me and my several hundred Pokémon, riding the rails.

I realize I haven’t moved, and Professor is still looking at me. “Was there something you wanted to talk to me about?”

“No, I’m good. See you later Professor.” And I scurried out as quickly as I could.

True to her word, Professor Hemlock grabbed her things the next day and left after ordering us Chinese food… yeah she definitely doesn’t trust me to eat. I left the hotel a few minutes before the checkout deadline, got in my car with my plushies in the back seat, probably shouldn’t have thrown away the bags, and drove to campus. Found a parking spot by the dorms… and sat. I didn’t have anywhere to be. I could go to lots of places, the gym, the library, the benches by some trees people keep calling a park even though some of the random places with scrubs and trees around campus look more worthy of the name… are benches required for something to count as a park and I’ve just never known about it? But no. I may be allowed in all of these places, but I have no reason to be there. The only place I don’t need an excuse to be is my own spaces, and right now that means my car.

I moved into the back and started playing my Switch again. Several hours later, while I was trying to find a Mawile and resisting the urge to look online if they are available in the game I was playing, someone knocks on my window. What, why? I’m not bothering anyone. I look out and see a campus police uniform. I carefully get out of the car, careful not to let any plushies fall out as I do so.

“Hello?”

“Good afternoon. Do you live in this dorm? Or are you waiting for someone?”

“I’m a student here. I don’t live in this dorm, but I am a student.”

“That’s fine, but this parking is for dorm residents. Do you see that sign? Outside of those hours no one can park here without a pass that residents have, student or not. You’ve been parked here for hours already, but it wasn’t during the restricted time. I am going to need you to move now though.”

I apologize and quickly get in my car. I spend the next hour looking for a parking lot that isn’t reserved for residents. I never paid attention to other spots restrictions because I never thought I would have needed to know them. Finally I find a parking lot that is both unrestricted and has an open spot. I park and can feel myself relax. Driving is stressful. Picking your new home/parking spot was stressful. I take a deep breath, and close my eyes.

A knock on my window shatters my tranquility and makes me hit my head on the roof. My eyes now open, I look and see Professor Hemlock outside my driver door. She looks annoyed. Too scared to open the door, I roll down the window.

“What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be setting up your new dorm room?” She knows. Her words are polite but her flashing green eyes stare into my soul and demand to know why I lied.

But I’m too scared to do anything but double down on my lie. “Oh, just thought I would get some studying in this weekend. I was just about to get out and head to the library.” I am a terrible liar, why didn’t I say gym? That’s at least somewhat close to us.

“And you brought your friends along to the library because…”

“…new roommate doesn’t like them. They are going to be my car buddies from now on.” Actually that wasn’t bad. Maybe I can pull this off.

“What dorm building do you live in? I think one of your toys got into my stuff and I’d like to return it?” She smirks. She knows I can’t risk this being a lie. I desperately want to count all my friends right now, but that would give away that I really don’t want to answer.

She sighs at my panicking face. “If you don’t have a place to stay, follow me as I leave. If you don’t follow and I find out later you’re homeless I will get your parents number from the school.” And with that she walks away. When she reaches her car I’m embarrassed to realize I’m right next to faculty parking. I didn’t know if she would be here, but it would have been very difficult for her not to see me, especially with my new car buddies filling the back seat.

She pulls out… and I follow her, knowing the jig is up. She drives to a nice house just off campus with a garage. She parks to the side and gets out to stand in the parking lot. When I get closer the garage opens and she walks inside, gesturing me to park there. I follow instructions. I get out in the garage as she closes the door.

“Why did I park in the garage instead of you?” I was very curious.

“I told you I didn’t want to show favoritism. It’s impossible for it to not look bad if you’re actually living with me. The hotel was one thing, the school asked me for a favor. This is different. As long as you’re living here you park in the garage, and do not let anyone know you live here. Not friends, not faculty, not family. I do not want my job on the line for fraternizing with a student.”

“…I’m sorry. I can go.”

“No you cannot. I told you to come. You’re not sleeping in the car. I have a spare guest room. I’ll help you move your things.” She picks up a spare plastic bin and opens my back door to start collecting plushies. I grab as many as I can and walk with her inside. She leads me past a living room, kitchen, and into a small hallway.

“That’s the bathroom, your room is right next to it.” She opens up the door and it’s perfect. Twin bed, a desk and several empty shelves. We both drop the plushies on the bed.

“Thank you. I’ll try and find a place to stay as soon as possible.” I earnestly didn’t want her to think I was a hindrance. She keeps helping me until all the Pokémon and clothes from the back seat are moved in. And then I realize my mistake.

“Where is your laptop? I don’t see it in the car.”

“Oh… I can get it myself. It’s just in the trunk. You’ve done enough I can get the rest.”

“Nonsense. I’ve helped you this much I may as well help with the rest.”

Knowing what was coming, I walk out with her to open my trunk… carefully. I manage to catch Magnemite before he hits the ground. The rest thankfully don’t fall out. She doesn’t say anything to the revelation that the collection she’d seen so far was only half. We just silently continue carrying Pokémon, my computer, and a few more pieces of clothing inside. My bed isn’t just overflowing with plushies, all of the shelves are taken over as well and the desk has just enough room left over for the laptop to sit. She also saw my Poképanties… which I desperately hope she never mentions.

“Well, I’ll leave you to get comfortable. I’m making dinner. I hope you like spaghetti. It should be ready in about an hour.” And then she walks out. She has definitely mentally adopted me as a stray. I just hope she still respects me enough not to put a bib on me.

The rest of the day is pleasant. I do like spaghetti after all.