It Doesn't Work

I must be even more high than I thought, Amanda thought to herself as she sat up and reached for her boot laces, because the easiest thing I could do is the one thing I didn't think of.

Stoned though she was her fingers made quick work of the complex knots and she loosened her boots wide enough to slide her feet out of.

Or rather she tried to.

For some reason, even though they weren't tied anymore, she couldn't get her boots to open up.

"What's wrong?" The girl said as Amanda tugged again and again at the leather top of her boot.

"My.. Shoe won't loosen..." She said distractedly as she tried first the left, then the right, and then the left again. Even though the laces were hanging loose the actual boot was still being held tight around her ankles.

"Well, loosen up the laces some more." The boy suggested.

Amanda, lacking anything better to do, pulled the laces to the point where they had actually come out of the first couple of eyelets and tried again, but the result was the same. The boots wouldn't release their grip on her feet.

"It's not working... No way could she have put glue on my boots!" She thought out loud.

"Who put glue on your boots?" The boy asked.

"Some nasty old woman with a stick up her ass." Amanda scowled at her irremovable footwear. "She drove off about an hour ago leaving me like this."

"Was it a gold Buick with a bumper sticker that said 'Accept Christ Or Go To Hell'?" The boy asked.

"Yeah, you know her?" Amanda looked up.

"No, but she just pulled out of the parking lot like two minutes ago." He grinned. "Those must be some pretty good ****, huh?"

"Yeah, my roommate doesn't fuck around when she makes brownies." Amanda said as she continued trying to peel her boots away from her ankles. "I don't suppose you could both kind of give this board a pull, could you?" She held up her stuck feet.

The teens looked at each other for a moment and shrugged. Each taking an end of the skateboard they began pulling backwards with the effect of simply dragging Amanda along the sidewalk on her back.

"Wait, wait!" She stammered as her sweater rode up a little. "I'm getting sand in my shirt!" The two halted, stifling a little laugh as Amanda flailed helplessly like a turtle on its back and awaited further instruction.

"You need to find something to hold on to while we pull, I think." The girl suggested. "Unless you want us to drag you home?"

"How about the curb?" The boy pointed. Amanda contemplated this but even in her scatterbrained state she could see the obvious problem with this idea.

"It's too rounded, I wouldn't be able to keep a good grip." She glanced around. "How about that tree over there?"

"Ok." Said the girl and the two began dragging her off the sidewalk into the grassy area.

"Hey! C'mon, now!" Amanda protested, "I'm getting grass stains on my butt!" The dragging paused.

"How else are you going to get over there?" The boy shrugged with a smirk on his face. Amanda thought about this and gave in.

"Oh, all right. Carry on." She allowed herself to be dragged across the grass until she was level with the tree which she then wrapped her arms around.

"Ok, hold on tight!" The boy said. Amanda held as tightly as she could, reflecting briefly on the surrealism of the situation before the first tug nearly made her lose her grip.

It was a bizarre tug of war.

Amanda tightened her grip between the rhythmic pulling the boy and girl were exerting on the board but she was slowly slipping. With one final heave her hands finally slipped off of the tree and she was dragged away as the two staggered backwards into the grass. Amanda's skateboard and boots showed no hint of coming free.

"Shit." Amanda said as she looked down the length of her grass stained and filthy body to where the board was still secured to her feet.

"Shit!" Said the girl as she stood up and dusted herself off. "That's some powerful glue!"

"How the hell did that woman get so much on you without you noticing?!" The boy said.

"I... I don't know!" Amanda said as she tugged feebly at her feet.

"I think we should get you to a hospital." The girl said.

"Do you have a car?" Amanda asked. The look she was given made her wonder if she had something hanging out of her nose. "What?"

"We're fourteen." The girl said. "You know that."

"I do?" This time the look took on an aspect of amusement.

"Yeah, we're cousins." The boy, who Amanda suddenly realized was named Jim, said.

"Oh, shit. Sorry, Jim." Amanda blushed. "Between the brownies and the situation I kind of blanked." She nodded at the girl. "Good to see you, Savannah."

"Hey." Savannah said. "So, how are we going to get her to the hospital? It's a little too far to drag her."

Amanda knew what was coming next and felt a sense of dread as Jim reached into his pocket and held up his phone.

"I can call my mom."

And with that Amanda's humiliating day reached it's crescendo.