It's the sound of the Police

“Hello, Metropolitan Police Service. How can I help?” the controller asked, answering the call put through to her from the auto-answer system.

“Yes, there's a man here with his..his penis out at my niece's birthday party! It's enormous. He's flashing it everywhere!”

“Okay madam, please try to remain calm while I take a few details. First can I have your name please?”

“Yes, it's Petunia Staker. Mrs. Petunia Ingrid Staker”

The controller sighed. It was going to be one of those evenings. “Okay Mrs...Staker. Can you tell me how many swans there are?”

“What?”

“Sorry, it must be a bad line.” the controller said quickly, smoothing over her joke. “I said can you tell me where you are?”

“I'm at The Imperial on Brown Lane. On the 12th floor”

“The...Imperial?” she asked, puzzled “I thought you said you were at your niece's birthday party?”

“Yes I am. Its her eighteenth birthday party! I- Oh my God!”

“Ma'am? Mrs Staker? Is everything alright?”

“It's going everywhere! Good lord he's- They're! You have to send someone quickly!”

The line went dead.

“Control to G744. Requesting presence at the Imperial hotel on Brown.” the controller said, switching to the police channel. “Unconfirmed report of a flasher at a birthday party. Sounds like a relative getting hysterical over a stripper but needs checking out.”

“G744 to Control, responding to the Imperial. ETA uhhh...” The answering voice had the exact tone of someone who was looking at the burger and chips that had been placed down in-front of him by his partner. “Uh...30 minutes?” the voice continued, over the what sounded like a ketchup bottle being opened. “Traffic looks terrible this time of day.”

“Confirmed G744. Situation update when you arrive. Control out.”