It's such a drag

“…And here we have the kitchen! This is where you’ll be preparing all of Nick’s meals!” Dakota chirped, leading a very unamused Mary into the kitchen of the Master’s Suite.

“I know, Dakota,” Mary replied testily. “I’ve been in the kitchen before. I’ve cooked for Nick in here before. This isn’t news.”

Dakota gave her a smile as cold as ice and tight like a drum. “…We’ve recently remodeled it to better serve the needs of two individuals,” she replied. “Expanded the size of the stove, doubled refrigerator space, given more room to the counter… after all, you’ll be working side by side with Holly now, to serve the master together!”

Holly waved awkwardly at Mary, trying not to show how excited she was about this whole thing. Mary returned her friend’s smile with a sweet one of her own, but she didn’t let Dakota off the hook that easily.

“You’ve given me a lot of responsibilities,” Mary said, putting her hands on her hips. “But Nick is MY husband. Shouldn’t I get a say in how I treat him, as his wife?”

Dakota pursed her lips. “…Well, that’s certainly your prerogative,” she replied. “I’m simply trying to make your job easier for you, Mary.”

“Waking Nick up with a blowjob every morning is doing that?” Not that Mary had any objection to that per se. But the point still held.

Dakota sucked in air past her teeth and exhaled. “…Your relationship with Nick is your own, of course,” the host stated. “So if that will make you happiest, and more importantly, if you think that will make Nick happiest, then yes, by all means.”

She narrowed her eyes. “I’m just trying to help you.”

“Are you?” Mary crossed her arms over her chest. “Or is this all the stuff that you wanted to do as Nick’s wife?”

Dakota twitched. “…What was that?”

“A lot of this stuff feels very specific,” Mary said, going down the list. “Give him backrubs whenever he’s sitting down reading. Playing games with him so he won’t get bored. Candlelight dinners where you make Nick all of his favorites. Buying things every week just to show him how much I love him. And don’t even get me started on all the sexual stuff. That all sounds like things you’ve been planning for a long time, isn’t that right?”

Mary’s face fell. “Dakota… are you just trying to make me do all the stuff that you wanted to do as his wife?”

A shadow crossed Dakota’s face and she tightened her grip on her cane. “Mary… I would suggest not speaking about things that you know nothing about.”

Mary tensed. “It’s okay if that’s the case, Dakota, I understand,” she said, taking a step forward. “It must be hard, being in the position that you’re in, but-”

“You don’t understand a damn thing,” Dakota growled, and the temperature in the room dropped to freezing levels. Holly jumped, backing away from the confrontation while Mary braced herself and stood her ground.

“Dakota…”

“You really don’t get it, do you?” Dakota growled, approaching Mary with menace in her eyes. “Just how much of a privileged little princess you are.”

“I-I’m not privileged,” Mary said, shifting from one foot to another.

“Sure you are,” Dakota scoffed. “What. Your family had a farm, right? So you got to eat all sorts of healthy foods?”

“We-we were poor!” Mary objected. “If I ever wanted a book, or-or a nice dress, or anything like that, I would have to save up as much as I could!”

“Oh, did you?” Dakota asked sarcastically. “Tell me something, little miss ‘nice dress’ did you ever have to eat food right out of a can?”

“Yes,” Mary replied automatically, catching Dakota off-guard.

“…W-well, then did you ever struggle to get to sleep, because of the pain in your stomach from not eating all day?” The dark-haired girl pivoted.

“…No, I didn’t,” Mary admitted. “But I was so tired from working on the farm all day and helping out in the kitchen all night that I would usually pass out from exhaustion by the time I got up to my room. And then I’d have to wake up before sunrise just to get my chores done before school.”

Dakota made a sulking face. “School? You want to talk about school? At least you had that. You went to college, right? On a writing scholarship or some ridiculous trash like that, I’m assuming? Well, I didn’t even learn how to read properly. Nick had to teach me, because there damn well wasn’t anybody in my house who would.”

“My dad still can’t read past a fifth grade level,” Mary replied. “I had to teach myself to be better than that.”

Dakota tightened her grip on her cane. The nerve of this girl!

“…You don’t want to play this game with me,” she growled, and a tense energy filled the kitchen. “You won’t like the results.”

“I’m not trying to play any ‘games’ with you!” Mary exclaimed. “I’m just trying to get you to stop being so mean! You’ve been sniping at me and trying to cut me down all night, and it’s just because you’re… you’re…!”

She had to stop herself before she said something she couldn’t take back. She clamped her mouth shut tighter than a safe.

“Go on,” Dakota hissed, tapping her cane against the floor. “I’m what?”

“Mary!” Holly hissed, shaking her head frantically.

Mary knew she shouldn’t. But she also couldn’t back down. “…You’re just jealous! That’s what this is! It’s all just one big production, you rubbing it in my face about all the stuff I need to do as Nick’s wife, and it’s all because you’re jealous that it’s me, and not you!”

The specificity of all the things Dakota had instructed Mary on had clued her in. Dakota wasn’t just pulling things out of thin air.

“That’s all stuff you wanted to do for him, right?” Mary pressed, calming down slightly. Her voice wasn’t angry anymore; her tone took a turn for the gentle. “The stuff about cooking him all his favorite foods and buying him nice things… it’s sweet, but… it’s the kind of stuff a child thinks about marriage. I know that, because I was the same way.”

When she was a little girl, Mary had a list of all the things she wanted to do when she got married, too.

“…I hope the sex stuff wasn’t on there before, though…” She mumbled.

Dakota raised her eyebrow. Then she clenched her teeth and took a step forward, causing Mary to jump in surprise.

“You don’t know a damn thing,” Dakota growled, grabbing the redhead by the open collar of her flannel shirt. “So what? You had to wake up a little early in the mornings? You had to do your chores at night? You think that means you had it rough?”

“I-I didn’t say…” Mary stammered, but Dakota cut her off before she could get started.

“You had to save up money for nice clothes? That’s a tragedy, really, I’m so sorry for you,” Dakota sneered. “My mother robbed my piggy bank to buy booze. And toys? Birthday presents? Nick’s family was the one to buy those for me. Anything I had worth keeping I had to leave at his house, or it would end up going missing after a couple weeks. So I’m sorry your daddy isn’t as literate as a middle-schooler, Mary, really, I am, but frankly, you shouldn’t be up there on your high horse talking about how life was hard!”

Tears started to well up in Mary’s eyes. “…I wasn’t,” she mumbled. “You were the one who tried to drag me into-”

Dakota dropped her like a sack of potatoes and Mary let out a yelp. She stumbled backwards and shook her head, looking warily at the other woman.

“This is a nice kitchen, don’t you think?”

And just like that, Dakota’s tone completely shifted. She was smiling again, but the tension in the room hadn’t abated in the slightest.

Mary didn’t respond. She just stared warily at the host, waiting for her to get to the point. Holly had practically peed her chastity belt she was so worried.

“When I was a kid, I always wanted a kitchen like this!” Dakota turned away from Mary and walked through the room, trailing her fingers along the counter. “Nice and clean, shiny, everything’s in its place!”

She rapped her knuckles on the refrigerator door. “Stocked with plenty of food, too! Everything you need to make a happy husband, wouldn’t you say?”

Dakota turned back to Mary, her smile frozen to her face like a mask.

“I’m sure a master chef like you will always be able to keep him feeling nice and full! The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, right? You little homemaker, you!”

Mary’s heart raced in her chest. She could feel that something was up with Dakota, but she wasn’t sure what that something was. She bit her lip warily. “Dakota…”

“You remember that one challenge, the cooking one?” Dakota tapped her chin. “That was quite an easy challenge for you! Or at least, it should have been. Perhaps you should have served him your wedding cake naked? Or in a wedding dress, perhaps. Presentation is everything, after all. Presentation and food preparation, I mean. You’re very fortunate that you’re such a good chef! For me, it took a great deal of trial and error just to get the recipe right… You wouldn’t believe the number of times I considered throwing in the towel and just making something from the can! But I would never do that for Nick… true love is effort, after all. It’s working yourself to the bone to make someone else happy. You understand that, right?”

Mary listened to Dakota’s rant with wide eyes as she processed everything the other woman was saying. Dakota’s words sounded crazy, but when she looked at the heart of what she was saying, a clear picture started to form.

“…So that’s why you resent me…” Mary looked down somberly.

Dakota had never been shy about expressing her dislike for others, even back when she was a contestant. But with Mary, she had usually been polite, even generous to her. But Mary had always sensed that she wasn’t seeing the full picture. As if Dakota’s feelings were a lot muddier, but she wasn’t bringing them out to the surface.

Now she was.

And her thoughts about Mary were as ugly as Mary feared.

“Resent you?” Dakota shook her head. “I’ve done nothing but try to make you into the woman you’ve always wanted to be, Mary! Why do you think I went to all that trouble, helping you out at your wedding, even getting you those pills? It’s because you, more than anyone, deserve the spot of being Nick’s wife!”

“…More than you, you mean,” Mary whispered.

Dakota stiffened, and a shadow crossed her face. “…Mary…”

“That’s what it’s all about, isn’t it?!” Mary exclaimed. She was tired of the lies, and the backhanded compliments. She just wanted to have an honest conversation with the woman who meant the world to her husband. “You’ve resented me from the start! Because you thought that I was the better wife for Nick!”

“Mary, why are you provoking her?!” Holly squeaked from the corner.

“Just tell me the truth already!” Mary pleaded. “Stop trying to be my friend and pretending like you’re some nice person, and just be honest! If you hate me, then hate me! But I’m sick and tired of playing along with your delusional attempt to insert yourself as some twisted arbiter of what will make my husband happy!”

It had been a while since Mary had done this much yelling. She actually needed a moment to catch her breath.

She hadn’t meant to say her piece with so much vigor. But after such a long and stressful day, she couldn’t hold back. Especially not for Dakota’s sake.

And yet… Dakota didn’t look angry with her. Well, not in a “seething with rage and plotting ****” kind of angry.

“…‘Because I thought that you were the better wife for Nick’… that’s what you said, right?” Dakota quietly repeated.

Mary gulped. “Y-yeah…”

Dakota approached her, and caressed her cheek. “Tell me something, Mary, what makes you the better wife for Nick? What do you think you possess, that I don’t?”

Mary swallowed, and tried to shy away from Dakota’s icy touch. But Dakota brought her other hand up and cradled Mary’s face from both sides, looking her dead in the eye.

The frozen glare in her golden orbs chilled Mary to the bone.

“Is it because… you’re sweet and compassionate? Because I could be those things. Is it because you prefer books instead of movies? Because Nick wouldn’t mind either, we both know that. Is it because you want children? Well, yes, part of being a wife to Nick would involve being a mother, and I’ve never had an urge like that so you’ve certainly got me there… Or, wait! Is it because you’re such a good cook? And you clean? And do the laundry? Like a proper wife should?”

“D-Dakota, that doesn’t…” Mary tried to pull herself free, but Dakota’s fingers dug into her cheeks and held her there. She tried to explain how none of that mattered, how all these issues were in Dakota’s head. But her mouth had been petrified into silence.

“Tell me something, Red, were you always a brilliant chef? Did you pop out of your mommy’s womb with an apron on and a silver spatula in your hand?”

“N-no, of course not!” Mary finally managed to twist away from her. “Don’t be ridiculous, of course I didn’t know how to cook when I was a baby! My mom taught me! Cooking, cleaning, laundry, doing the dishes, those were part of my chores! My mom taught me how to do that stuff, not- Ah!” Mary gasped in realization as she stared at the bitter expression on the other woman’s face.

Dakota’s hands fell limply to her sides and she stared at Mary in icy silence.

“Dakota…”

“I could have cooked for him too, you know!” Dakota snapped, forcing her way into Mary’s space and causing the redhead to back up. “I could have learned how to do it, if I had the chance! I could have figured out how to do all that stuff! But look at you! YOU got your mommy to show her all those things! YOU had years and years to practice your skills! And what, you think that’s fair?! You think you deserve to be Nick’s wife, because you got to live a nice, blissful life on your family’s farm, milking cows and collecting eggs and cooking in the kitchen?! I wanted those things too, you know! But life doesn’t always give you what you want, you sheltered, spoiled little brat!”

Or ****, as the case may be.

“Dakota…” Tears started to well up in Mary’s eyes. “I’m sorry, I… I didn’t… I wasn’t even thinking about all that stuff, honest… I just…”

“Congratulations, Mary,” Dakota seethed, holding up her arms to show off the kitchen all around her. “You made it. You took your years of training to be the perfect wife, and you bagged yourself the man of your dreams. I’m happy for you, really, I am. But unfortunately, your idyllic little faerie tale isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Because even though you’re Nick’s wife, you’ll never own his heart. You’re just not enough for him. So while you’re cooking your little omelets and baking him soufflés, he’ll be in the next room giving it to another woman, and you’ll just have to wait your fucking turn.”

Before Mary could say anything, Dakota pushed past her and stormed out of the Master’s Suite.

She was so shaken by the conversation and so consumed by her rage that she didn’t even think to consider using her powers as the host to teleport herself to safety.

Meanwhile, the room spun around Mary as she processed everything that Dakota had said.

It hurt.

The other woman’s words, they were like a dagger plunged into her heart. She gripped the counter to keep herself on her feet.

“Mary…” Holly approached her friend cautiously, no longer cowed into submission by Dakota’s presence.

“Holly… what should I do?” Mary lifted her head and wiped the tears from her eyes. “It’s not my fault, right? I’m not… a bad person?”

“What!?” Holly couldn’t believe that Mary had gotten THAT from the conversation. “No, Mary! Of course you’re not a bad person!” She shook her head in shock. “How could you even think that?! Just because Dakota lost her temper? She’s crazy!”

Dakota may have been crazy, but that didn’t assuage Mary’s painful thoughts.

“Dakota… she was right about one thing,” Mary acknowledged. “It wasn’t fair. I learned all that stuff about homemaking from my mom. But Dakota… she never had a chance for that, for any of that… and that stuff, it’s all…”

“It’s nonsense is what it is,” Holly sniffed, shaking her head. “You know Nick better than that, Mary! Come on!”

Mary blinked and stared at her friend in confusion. “Huh?”

“You think Nick cares about cooking?! Or cleaning? Or laundry!?” Holly shook her head incredulously. “Nick doesn’t even do his own laundry, you know! He was always a complete slob! Leaving his dirty clothes all around the place, soaked in sweat… not cleaned for days… And sometimes he’d even wear the same thing more than once, and then…”

Holly’s eyes turned glassy as she drifted off into a fantasy in front of a very not amused Mary.

“Hey. You were comforting me, remember?” Mary snapped her fingers in front of Holly’s face to bring her back.

“Huh? Oh, right!” Holly shook her head. “Right, um, sorry,” she stammered. “I got a little carried away there… anyway, my point is that none of that stuff matters to Nick, and you know it. Nick didn’t fall in love with you because of your cooking!”

“I mean, obviously not,” Mary agreed. “But what she said, about that making me his ideal wife…”

“By her standards, maybe,” Holly shrugged. “But I can do all that stuff, too. And I’ve been doing all that stuff! That doesn’t make me his ideal wife, it makes me his maid. And I think we can both agree, I’m about as far from the perfect woman for Nick as possible.”

Mary frowned. No, actually, they weren’t in agreement about that at all. But she didn’t want to combat Holly on her fantasies at the moment.

“…Look, my point is, Dakota’s just taking out her resentment and frustration on you, okay?” Holly shook her head. “But don’t let her! She’s just bitter and hateful, and she’s complaining because she’s stuck in a position she can’t do anything about. But don’t let her make you think you’re at fault here, too. Because you’re not!”

Mary winced. Holly’s words echoed in her heart, but at the same time, she did feel sympathy for Dakota’s position as well.

“Don’t forget, she had all the time in the world when she was a host where she could have been polishing those skills, if they were really that important to her,” Holly reminded her friend. “But she didn’t. How is that your fault?”

“Well, but… she probably assumed that she’d never see Nick again… so why bother?” Mary mumbled.

Holly blinked. She hadn’t considered that. “…Doesn’t matter,” she dismissed the other girl’s argument with a wave of her hand. “How is that your fault?”

…Holly was right. Mary could see that. Dakota was taking out her vitriol on her, but in the end… Mary wasn’t to blame for any of it. She was just being who she was. Nick fell for her because of that. And even if Dakota couldn’t see it herself anymore… Nick had fallen for her, too.

If only Dakota could come back from the horrible path that she was on, like Sylvia had… maybe they even could have been friends.