It's complicated

The two of you sit there for a while, alone except the sex toy - er, the blonde waitress - still wrapped in Ashley's arms. You notice, now that neither of you are talking, that there's almost a pattern to her breaths. Your crush makes a wrist motion, you hear a breath of a specific volume. It's like the blonde is an instrument, and Ashley is a skilled musician.

You worry for a second that she didn't hear your question. But if she didn't, she wouldn't have just sat there in silence, right? She must have heard you.

"I wish I hadn't been a lesbian", she says. Huh? "Or maybe that's not what I wish. I wish there were more words to describe all the different kinds of affection. More ways to love someone in an acceptable way."

She raises the hand she'd been touching the sex t - the waitress with out of the girl's tights. She licks one finger, then offers you that hand. "I'm still thinking of how to word this. Want to taste her, though?"

You nod and open your mouth to lick, but before you can she slips her finger in your mouth. You end up sucking on it, instead.

Tastes a lot more like pasta than like waitress.

"The truth is, I've always cared about you. More than Hannah. More than any of the random sluts I fucked before her. But..."

She slides the finger out of your mouth.

"We live in a society where love means one thing, right? Your love has to be someone you're close to, and someone you're sexually interested in. Not just the person you're close to, but the one who's closest to you. Not just someone you find sexually attractive, but someone you find the most sexually attractive, so much that you'd never have sex with anyone else ever again."

Her hands are back in the girl's tights. You consciously realize, although you already subconsciously knew, that she'd never fuck this girl without your... thing... interfering. She would have stayed loyal to Hannah.

"It's messed up. You're close to me emotionally. More than anyone else who isn't a relative, you know? But Hannah's the one person who I've found who I'm close to emotionally and sexually attracted to."

It's silent again. You're not sure if she's thinking her words over or waiting for your response, but you respond anyway.

"What if I needed you to be bi?" The most obvious answer, you guess.

"I'm already bi for you, dude. If you wanted, you could throw me on the street right now and fuck me til you ran out of cum. My body is yours, the way this chick's body is mine."

You wait for the but.

"But if you're asking me how I feel if I don't want to fill your wants, if I don't need to answer your needs, that's how I feel. Like I'm emotionally attracted to you. Like I feel romantic feelings for you. But while I wouldn't be unhappy if I had sex with you, I wouldn't seek it out either."

You don't know how to respond to that. You'd feared a "no", and been prepared for that. You'd hoped for a "yes", and been prepared for that. But was that really a yes? It's going to take a bit of effort to unravel your thoughts.

The silence is awkward. There need to be words so it doesn't feel so loaded. "Mind if I get it on that too?", you ask, nodding to the blonde. She - your date, that is, not the sex toy - nods, and you draw closer to both of them.

It's interesting watching the waitress's face. It's not quite a neutral expression - too much of a smile for that - but it's not quite explicitly *cheerful* or anything. Her eyes have more of a smile than her face does.

You experiment with her while she gets fingered. A nibble on her ear. A bite - a real one, with teeth.

You lick her face. She still has that vaguely pleasant, vaguely eager look on it.

In a way, Ashley's response was a yes. She likes your romantically. She just said so.

The blonde sex doll's tights are occupied tight now, but her dress isn't. You slide a hand up through the bottom of her dress, pulling it up as you pull your hand up, and rest a hand on a boob. It's definitely smaller than the ones you want to be touching, but firm and round. You squeeze, a little harder than you'd be comfortable with if this was a real woman. And then, just because you can, you pinch her nipple between your fingers, and twist.

That gets a noise out of her, although she's still got that pleasant look on her face.

In a way, Ashley's response was a no. She wouldn't enjoy sex with you. She just said so.

Ashley's hand comes up right under yours, on the blonde's breasts. Once you let go of the waitress's nipples, she takes your hand in hers.

If you want Ashley to enjoy sex, she will. You never really cared about whether that being authentic - what you cared about were her real feelings, which you couldn't change by willing them to, not her sexuality, which will change at your whim.

With both of you still groping the waitress, you notice that your date's moved her head forward towards you. Just enough for you to move in and kiss her - if you want.

She feels romantically for you, she said. What else do you want?

You move in, just a little, and then she closes the gap. She kisses you, gently, as if afraid you're going freak out. You give the sex toy another boob squeeze.

She draws back, but you bring yourself forward and kiss her again. This is longer, more passionate, but in a way that's still distinctly romantic and not sexual.

You stare into her eyes, a clear blue entirely focused on you, and realize she's always looked at you like this.

"So... If we're not seeing this girl again, we could probably do stuff to her without worrying about aftercare or aftereffects or anything?", she asks, and continues when she sees your nod. "Want to see what the biggest thing we can stick up her butt is?"

Sitting there, just two people (and a toy), you can't help but feel loved.