It's a bit complicated

Your 'mother' doesn't answer immediately: on the contrary, she entrenches behind a Jocondian smile, looking down at her coffee with a rueful expression.

Your stolen body is trembling with anxiety and impatience. If she were really your mom, she would have already said it; therefore, the person sitting in front of you, occupying her affectionate and lovely form, you have no idea who she is or what she may want from you.

You're in danger. Maybe, you don't even know that for sure; but it is a strong possibility. You are in trouble and 'she' has got you before, so what can you do? The coast is clear behind you, but can you run away from her? And where to go? What will happen to you, to your body... to poor Kim, who you've put at real risk without her knowing!

-...it's not that easy.- 'Mom' finally says. You stiffen in reaction. No, you shouldn't, you should prepare yourself to escape!

-I am your mother, Tom.- She knows who you are! -Not in the sense that I have access to her memories and her personality, which I do have by the way. I am also the one who has given birth to you, and to your sisters too.-.

You remain tensed up. A big "but" is coming.

-But your question meant more than that. Trust me, you should really drink that coffee before having this talk.-.

You peek down at the cup, but you don't move a finger. How can you trust 'her', coming to this point?

-Yeah, I understand. So, I guess I should start from the beginning, from what my own mother told me when I was your age, and her mother did before.-.

-Our family has a... let's say 'peculiar' trait. About after eighteen, male members split their consciousness into a sticky substance resembling red jam, though at the microscope it's more similar to cellular cytoplasm. Such 'goo' can crawl inside other people's orifices and take over their bodies, as you've already found out by yourself; plus, it has other properties which I'll explain to you later. Nobody has ever found out why this happens or how in more detail, nor when it all started. It just does.-.

You remain silent, a some sort of terrifying admiration pervading you as you listen to words coming out from your parent's lips.

-It seems that each case is different from the previous ones, both in terms of additional features and timing. Heh, actually I was told that I've been one of the most precocious. Usually, the ones like us start jumping from one host to the other, in order to have fun living other people's lives for a bit; I did it too partially, and it's perfectly normal, I mean, what adolescent guy wouldn't do it?-.

-However, this doesn't last, or at least not like at the beginning. There comes a point where... where you find a certain body, an 'attuning host' as we call him, which is like... I don't know how to say it, do you know when someone tells you that has found the perfect place where to live, as if it was built right for them? Something like that, only not with a building, but with another body. A woman's body.-.

She, or he, pauses, probably to check that you have been following. You did, yes, but you can't metabolize what 'she' is telling you. Is 'she' suggesting that your mother is her 'perfect place'? But since when? How, why? And how... how can 'she' justify herself? This is your mother 'she' is talking about!!!

-But you were in Kim.- You point out. 'She' nods gravely.

-We don't actually lose our powers, but after some time outside our attuning host, we start to experience a growing distress until we are **** to repossess it. So, yeah, sometimes I spend a night inside your sisters, but it doesn't last for long.-.

-This is... this is absurd! You can't just take over my mom's life because you feel some anguish or...!- You're quivering again, yet this time you're not frightened, but angry. Your supposed mother parades 'her' open hands to sedate your rage.

-Honey, you're not seeing it from the correct perspective. We have ****, and I'm sorry, but someday this will happen to you too. We can't avoid that, really; so it's better just to accept it and learn to live with it.-.

-The correct perspective? You're possessing my mom! My mom!!!-.

-No, no son, I am your mother, truly! Please, let me explain myself, I promise that it's not what you think.-.

For now, this seems like some perved bastard who's trying to justify his unforgivable actions. But, you reason, 'she' is also the only one who can give you some answers to what's happening to you. Therefore, you let 'her' continue.

-I met Jessica when I was a teenager. She was my crush, even if I was a bit older than her. We were at the same school, but she was one of the most popular girls and I... well, just a nobody. She really didn't know I existed.-.

This story... somehow it feels familiar. Like they've already told it to you, but with different words.

-Then, when I was nineteen, one night I found myself turned into goo. I was confused and scared, and my body was acting like nothing was wrong. In panic, I escaped out of the window and ended up in street. A straw dog bit me, and one second later I was the dog! You can imagine how much I was terrified at that point, and the dog's instinct took over and brought me wandering across the city.-.

-Until I ended up in a familiar neighborhood. I recognized that it was Jessica's, and that her place was right before my eyes. I thought, in my mental frenzy, that she could help me somehow. I managed to exit the dog and slither inside the house, and I found her room. I tried to get her attention, but she was sleeping, so I crawled on her face and she accidentally swallowed me.-.

-Actually, I later discovered that she was taking sleep pills, so I woke up only the morning later, and... well, I was in her body. I freaked out, but her parents were calling me to go to school, and I decided that finding my body was my better shot. Preparing myself as her, and then walking around outside in her form, I cannot even describe how strange it was; but I managed to meet the other me, who was just amazed that Jessica Kingsley herself was talking to him.-.

-Gosh, it's a bit embarrassing to say, but he's been a real moron. He didn't understand a word I said, thus in the end I just told him that I needed math repetitions for the afternoon, so that I could actually get back inside him once safe at my home. However, when I arrived I found out that...- 'She' sighs deeply, and you discern embarrassment in her speech.

-...he had an accident while walking back from school, he was hit by a car because he wasn't paying attention. It was my own mom who told me this, since I caught her right when she was going to the hospital. Knowing that my body was injured, plus everything else... I burst out crying, and I told her everything.-.

-I was afraid that she would have considered me crazy, a delusional stalker. But she didn't. She invited me in, and then she said to me what I'm telling you now: that she was born as my father, that later he possessed my mother's body and that she had lived as her since.-.

At this revelation, you hold your breath and your eyes goggle out of their sockets.

This is impossible! Is she implying that...!!!

-I couldn't believe it, but she taught me how to exit from Jessica, and she showed me that it was the same for her. Then, she took me to the hospital where I finally got back inside of my body, which luckily wasn't seriously injured. I was discarded that same day, though with a broken leg. But it wasn't over.-.

She pauses again. Her expression is dense, like she's reliving the moments while narrating them.

-At first, I assumed it was because of the incident, or that I was still shocked by my mother's confession; but in some days, I started to feel an incommensurable desperation growing inside of me. I felt that something was wrong, that I was feeling out of place, and then I realized. It was Jessica. I had already found my attuning host. I faced my mother about that, and she simply admitted that there weren't many possibilities.-.

-And so, the day later, the young Queen Bee Jessica Kingsley started to hang out with the loser Robert Harris. Then we started to date. And then we got married. And you know the rest, son.-.

Your mouth drops, as you search in vain to find a sense in this last revelation, instinctively searching for a way to twerk the meaning of her words. Because, else, it can only mean that your mom is actually...

"M-My father??".

-No... this can't be true...-.

-I'm afraid it is. Oh, sweetheart...- She stretches her hand on the table to gently caress yours, but you immediately retract at the touch.

-This is sick! You have to stop! What you've done is... is horrible! Just let her go, now!-.

At this request, your mother's expression clouds in sadness and grief.

-I can't. I won't last a week outside this body, nobody does. This is how we die, Tom, and I'm sorry I had to tell you this. Besides... I've been Jessica for the last three decades, far more than I've been Robert, or her herself. I know it's hard to accept, believe me, I know, but the person you're referring to doesn't even know that you exist, and you've never met her. Even if I decided to dispossess her, she would be a 16yo girl waking up in the body of a 42yo married woman, with three kids, in a time that she wouldn't recognize.-.

She shakes her head. That would never work, she's implying.

-It's better like this. Someday, you'll understand.-.

-I don't want it!- You straighten up, throwing the chair backway in an impetus, tears forming in your sister's eyes.

-I'll never steal the life of another person! You've always said that we have to do the right thing! How can this be right???-.

No, not 'you', why have you started considering him as your mother? He is not, he is your father, no, he is just a demon that came into your life!

-Honey...- Your mom's forehead frowns in sorrow: -There are no other ways, believe me. Our family has searched for generations. Once you've found your attuning host, it's over.-.

-Y-Yeah? Then I'll simply go back into my body and I won't get out, ever again!- You sweep your arm in the air to emphasize the denial. But she has an answer for that too.

-I wish it was that simple. Your original body will eventually reject you, like it did this evening. And even if we can morph into other people, we can't stay outside a human body for long. Even if you decide to continuously hop between bodies, sooner or later...-.

-No! No I don't want to hear that!- You plug your ears and shake your head, begging whatever divinity is listening to you to wake you up from this nightmare. But instead, as a horrible memento, you feel extraneous long hair flushing around your head, and fingertips softer than yours pressing onto ears smaller than yours.

A dreadful thought strikes you.

If he has found his attuning host, or whatever it's called, with the first attempt... what if you did too?

Oh God.

What if it's Kim, what if tomorrow you'll feel that you can't resist outside of her??? And if it's not her, what if it's Tina, or one of your friends, or, no, no! You can't do this to any of them, you love them! You've thought that you were sick to have those impulses toward your family, but you'd rather die before...

"...die?".

"Am I ready to die like this? To save another person instead of me?".

-Tom, you don't have to think about it this evening. You've already gone through during the last minutes what I did in weeks.- Your mother tries to reassure you.

-And just because someday it will happen, it doesn't mean that it's gonna be tomorrow, or the next day. Hell, my aunt had jumped around for years before...-.

-Your aunt?- You squeal, then you sniff.

-How many others? How many like us are around???-.

-Tom...- She stumbles over her own words, and finally she sighs wearily.

-Son, have you ever wondered why in my family there has never been a divorce? Or a man who never got married?-.

Your legs betray you, and you collapse on your knees, covering your mouth in disgust and despair.

His family, his entire family? And then who knows if there are others outside?

At each of your questions comes a revelation worse than the previous ones. You feel disarmed; defeated; hopeless. You feel like your entire life has been a lie. The woman who you love more than anyone else in this world, the woman who has raised you and taught you everything you know, now you're not even sure she's ever existed.

-It can't be real!- You repeat several times between sobs: -Look at me! How can you not be worried about your daughter?-.

A tight, warm embrace encircles your frail body, and delicate hands brush your head and your back to calm you down.

-D-Don't touch me!- You protest, yet your attempts to break free are so ineffective that you yourself doubt that they were sincere. You should want to reject her, an impostor who is pretending to be your mom, this is what you should feel!

-Tom, my poor kid, I'm really sorry that it had to be like this! If there was a way to avoid it, any way! I would have paid any price!-.

She's crying too. Or maybe she isn't, you can't understand it anymore. You'd just want her to say that everything would be back to normal, this is the only thing that you ask; but that's also the only thing she's not telling you, and that she will never tell you.

-B-But, K-Kim! What if s-she is...-.

Her hug squeezes you even more, and the pillowish tips of her digits are pressed onto your skin.

-I pray with all my soul that this is not the case, but if unfortunately it were...! It will never change the fact that I'll always love you, always, no matter what, no matter who you will be! I will always be your mother, ok? Always!-.

You tighten your eyelids and bury your face below her shoulder, unable to hold back mucus and tears from wetting her nightgown.

Why is this happening to you? What have you done to deserve it???

-I'm, I'm a normal person! This can't be happening!- You rave: -I'm only... I'm only a perverted guy who dreams of his sisters! I'm not a monster!-.

-No, you're not, don't think about it even for a second!- Your mother severely states, her voice trembling with emotion: -You're my son, now and forever! Have you heard it? Now and forever!-.

You remain crying like that for what seems hours, but maybe it's just minutes. Eventually, your mom manages to make you get up and takes you back upstairs, whispering to you that you need to sleep and that tomorrow everything will seem less scary. Exactly like she did when you were a child, and something horrible had happened during your day.

-This is a curse...- You repeat like a rhyme.

-A curse...-.

-Shh... don't think about it now, my baby...-.

She lays you down on Kim's bed, and then cups her hand under your mouth.

-I'll bring you back to your body. Tomorrow I promise I will answer any of your questions.-.

You look at her with eyes lucid like with fever, and then you focus to exit Kim's body. Even if it's the first time you do this on purpose, in a few seconds you find yourself being held by her palms, leaving behind your sister's **** form. Your mother's tired visage towers above you, and you feel the jolts of her walking until she stops inside a dark room.

Your room.

Before putting you down, she brings you to her mouth, and for a moment you think she wants to eat you. Instead, she kisses your gooish body, and then pours you inside your real one's spread mouth.

When you reopen your eyes, she has already left. Exhaustion has soon the better over your turmoil, and you slip into an unresting sleep.