It's Complicated

Yasmin signed over the rights of her baby to Enrique. I couldn’t believe how cruel she was to a child that grew inside of her. She didn’t want the baby because she was dark-skinned like the father.

I was at Enrique’s helping with baby Eliza when Richard called, “Hey gorgeous how are you?” he asked with cheer in his voice. He only had two more days in London and I knew he would be frisky when he returned.

“Hey babe, I’m good.”

Eliza started to fuss. I gave her a bottle. “Is that a baby?” he asked. I had not gotten a chance to explain to him everything that occurred. When I did, he was in shock.

“I’m just getting some practice in.”

I heard a pinch of concern in his voice, “So, Mario and the young lady are no longer seeing each other.”

“Right. She moved out and went back to Puerto Rico.”

“Um-hmm,” he replied.

“Don’t get any crazy ideas. You’re stuck with me.”

He chuckled, “Glad to hear it. I can’t wait to get home. Rest up.”

I knew that meant he was going to be on overdrive when he arrived. I couldn’t wait. A week without feeling him was driving me crazy.

The call ended. Enrique came into the living room, “how’s the husband?”

“Fine. He’ll be back Sunday.”

He watched me as I held his baby with care as I fed her. He smiled, “I always imagined this for my family. A woman who loves being a mother.”

“You’ll find someone to love you and your daughter the way you deserve.”

He nodded, “How are things with Mario?”

I hesitated. “Um, it’s complicated.”

“You still love him.”

I didn’t respond. He left it alone. I stood and handed him the baby. She was sleeping peacefully in my arms. He smiled, “Thank you.”

“You can drop her off at my place tomorrow morning.”

“Okay,” he responded.

I left. As I headed to my car, my phone sounded. I answered, “Where are you?” asked Mario.

“Excuse me?”

“I’m sorry. I’ve been calling you all morning.”

“I was busy with the baby.”

“Lelani, that baby is not your responsibility. He needs to figure that shit out.”

“Really Mario? Up until she was born, you were excited to see her. Just because she’s not yours doesn’t mean you have to act like an ass.”

He sighed, “You’re right. I was just saying we have our baby to worry about. I wanna see you.”

“Fine. I’ll stop by.”

Enrique had asked his great aunt to move in with him to help raise his daughter. She would arrive on Saturday evening from New York. I was happy for him, but I didn’t plan on letting that stop me from being in Eliza’s life. She would need all the positive feminine energy she could get.

I headed to meet Mario at his place. His family went back to the island since the baby thing didn’t pan out. They would return in June to see the birth of our baby boy.

I ended up at his place. We talked. He insisted that we explore what we had. I explained to him there was no way I was leaving Richard. He was livid.

“Look, Mario, Richard was there for me when you walked away.”

He nodded, “Damn.”

His eyes watered a little, I stepped close to him hugging him. He did smell good as I rested my head on his chest, “You have to figure out how to move on. I’m married.”

I stepped back and gave him a peck before I left.

As hard as it was for me to say those words to him, I knew they had to be said. Richard stepped up and chose me and he continued to choose me. The first chance Mario had; he chose Yasmin.

It was clear, that I wasn’t a priority to him, or at least, he didn’t make me his priority. I was content with my life. Richard was a good man. He was a great husband. He was an incredible lover. And he’d be an awesome bonus dad.

That was the reality we all had to come to terms with. I smiled as I continued my drive home.

*****

On Saturday morning, Enrique dropped baby Eliza off and he headed to work. Bethany came over to see the baby. I held Eliza and fed her. Bethany smiled, “You look like a natural.”

My face glowed. I was so ready. Or at least, I convinced myself that I’d be okay with sleepless nights and sore nipples from breastfeeding. Bethany was on her cellphone, “I’m going to book our flight to Boston for Jade’s baby shower.”

“Okay, that’s cool. First-class.”

“Chica, you already know.”

She placed her phone down after she booked our flights, “So,” she said looking at me with concern.

“What?”

“You know what.”

I shrugged.

“Lelani. I know that you fucked Mario before the wedding.”

I made a face.

“Before you even try to lie. I was still up when you snuck out of the beach house that night and I saw when you came back early that morning.”

“That doesn’t mean anything.”

“Bitch!”

“Fine.” I stood and placed the baby in the playpen that I had purchased. She was sleeping peacefully. I turned and went back into the living room and sat. “Yes. It happened, but—”

“But what? Lelani that is serious.”

“I know. But I already ended it with Mario.”

“Did you?”

“Yes. Yes. It’s over. I’m with Richard. He’s what I want.”

She sighed, “I know you Lelani.”

“Sis, I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

“Fine. I have to go for a reading later today. I can come to get you if you want.”

“I don’t know. I’ll let you know.” I walked her to the door. I heard the baby fuss. I walked over and picked her up in my arms. I wasn’t ready to have a reading. I just couldn’t. I wasn’t ready to hear anything that involved me making a decision other than the one I had already made.