Is it necessary anymore?

“You are making too big a deal out of this,” Sarah told me, arms crossed and looking down at my slumping self.

“But… That was my place…” I muttered.

After the initial shock, we moved to the stairs leading to the rooftop. I sat there on the steps with Mila next to me rubbing my back. Grace was leaning on the guardrail to make sure people weren’t coming up from the floor below and Sarah stood over me with a scolding scowl.

“Yes, it sucks, but you’re taking it way too hard,” the blonde said. “Yeah, it’s too bad that we don’t have a place to do whatever we want at school, but it’s nothing to cry about.”

“I’m not crying,” I argued, though my pouting tone didn’t help me.

“I mean, I get him, Sarah,” Mila said. “It was only a bit over a month, but I grew attached to that room. We did all sorts of stuff there, and I’m not just talking about you-know-what. Remember when we first played truth or dare? We finally got Oliver to start opening up.”

“But it’s never about the place. It’s about the people,” Sarah argued. “That could’ve happened anywhere and it would still mean just as much.”

“Always the pragmatic one,” Grace said, sighing. “You need more romance in your life.”

“W-What? I…” Caught off guard and confused, Sarah glanced from Grace to me with burning cheeks.

“I don’t mean relationship romance, like hugs and kisses. I mean the feeling of excitement and mystery you get from doing things.” As Grace spoke, she kept her eyes on the stairs under us, watching that no one was overhearing. “We had our own little love nest at school, and that had a certain romantic appeal. We just lost it. I’m sure Oliver is grieving for a different reason, though.”

I sighed. The thought that I’d never be able to retreat there for inner peace still hurt.

“Over the last month, I’ve come to know you a lot more, Oliver,” Grace said. “So I’m really surprised you’re so down over this.”

“Huh?” I looked up at her.

“I mean, I get why, but I thought it wouldn’t bother you so much. Or do you still want a place you can run away to and hide in?”

It was like a lightning strike to my brain and a dagger in my chest at the same time. She hit me right where it hurt the most by hitting the nail in the head.

That was what pained me the most. I had lost the one place I could run away to if things turned sour. If I had an awkward encounter with someone, I could hide there. If I wanted to be alone, I could go there. If I wanted to avoid someone, only four people now knew where to find me. Basically, my safety blanket was gone.

“You don’t need it, Oliver,” Grace continued. “You’ve said it yourself. You’re growing in the ways you always wanted to. Having a place to run off to when the going gets tough will only hold you back.”

My mind immediately went to that afternoon at work, where I was **** to interact with people I didn’t know in a polite way. I was only able to do that because I couldn’t run away, because I had to face that challenge. It was sink or swim, and I swam, and it felt amazing.

“You’re right,” I admitted, if sounding more begrudging than I intended. “I know you are. Doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

“Correct,” Grace said, chuckling. “What matters is that you overcome it.”

“Fine. Fine. But what are we going to do now, then?” I asked. “Any other place we hang out in, we run the risk of people catching us. We won’t even be able to… talk like usual.”

Sarah made a sour face. “That’s what hurts the most. We’ll have to act like there’s nothing between us while at school.”

A heavy silence set over us. We were all thinking of a way to keep at least some of the routine we’d gotten used to.

If we kept arriving early, we’d still have a few minutes to ourselves, but being anywhere else we ran the risk of being caught by a student, teacher or janitor. We’d be looking over our shoulders all the time, and that defeated the purpose of what we wanted.

“I don’t see any solution,” Grace said, sighing. “We’ll just have to act as nothing more than friends here.”

“Shouldn’t be hard, at least,” Mila said. “We ARE friends, right?” She chuckled. “All we need is Oliver holding in his urge to fondle tits and Sarah holding back her need to cling to him 24/7.”

“Hey,” both Sarah and I complained.

Grace grinned. “We’ll have to make up for this with more after-school dates.”

Sarah poked my shoulder. “We still haven’t played tennis.”

“I’m waiting for the invitation.”

“Fine, that one’s on me. Let me find a day that’s good for both of us.”

“Aww, so we can’t go?” Grace pouted.

“You hate sports and suck at tennis,” Sarah told her.

Grace shrugged. “I’m just saying, an invitation would be nice.”

“Sarah’s just looking for an excuse to wear her tennis dress in front of you,” Mila told me.

“Tennis dress?” I asked, growing curious and excited.

Sarah blushed, but crossed her arms and puffed her cheeks. “Is that a problem?”

I shook my head. “Nope. Thank you.”

The bell rang and we went back to our classroom. Class went by as usual, and it was a good enough distraction from my grief for the old music room, may it rest in peace. Thank you for your help during those years. I will do my best to move on from now on.

I had completely forgotten, however, that my first new challenge would be a big one. One of the firsts I had run away from during my freshman year and never dared to face again.

The bell rang to signal the end of the period.

That meant lunch break.

That meant the cafeteria.

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