Invite Lisa's secret lovers early

I sat at the computer, shocked at my wife's secret online sex life. More so that she had arranged to hook up with a local couple at Jeri and Tom's barbecue that Saturday.

I read through the logs with Lisa as "AuburnPixie" chatting with the mysterious "BiPortlandCplSeeksSame". More pictures, but no faces, so I couldn't place them. The woman had a great body, from what I could tell off the webcam pictures. The man was OK, though I was sure I was in better condition. He was a charmer on chat, flattering and personable to Lisa. She was a flirt and a giggler, teasing Lisa about her upcoming lesbian initiation, but was very supportive and commisserating about Lisa's complaints about me and the move and seemed to give reasonable advice. Not that it's clear Lisa took any of her advice.

And both of them wondered if I should be there with Lisa.

BiPortlandCplSeeksSame: I saw Steve's picture on his business website. He's quite a hunk. Is he going to be there when we meet you?

BiPortlandCplSeeksSame: It's a shame that the Mrs. and I don't get to meet Steve. From what you said about him, it sounds like he knows how to behave himself and he'd love to see you and the Mrs. together.

Sometimes Lisa said "maybe", sometimes "not yet", and sometimes just "no".

I fired up Lisa's chat profile, typed in her usual password, and sent her correspondents a message.

AuburnPixie: Hi sweeties! I'm so hot to go I don't want to wait for Saturday. Steve's going out tonight with some old friend around 7. They'll be out till midnight he says. I'll IM you when he clears out. Can you make it?

It turned out they were online, at least one of them.

BiPortlandCplSeeksSame: Pix!!! kiss kiss from your girlie!

BiPortlandCplSeeksSame: Tonight? hang on lemme call him.

BiPortlandCplSeeksSame: boop boop boop deedle deedle

BiPortlandCplSeeksSame: he says yes we can make it

AuburnPixie: Oh God I can hardly wait. Oops I hear Steve coming downstairs.

BiPortlandCplSeeksSame: Babe we are so there. Keep it hot for me! l8r soon!

AuburnPixie: I am so excited!! bye!!

My face was burning red. Embarrassed for myself, angry at Lisa, excited that my **** wife DID have a bubbling sex drive. I'd never pulled such a low-down trick in my life. Of course, I'd never had a woman go behind my back the way Lisa had.

I cleared out the log of the last chat, and breathed a little easier. Of course it would come right out as soon as they were here. Just in case...I put nonsense into the configuration I'd just fixed, so Lisa couldn't get out.

Now what did Lisa deserve? I turned it over in my mind. The couple seemed like nice people from their chats with Lisa, aside from the fact they were willing to help her go behind my back. Maybe I should just be the one to greet them when they showed up. If the cat was out of the bag, I could insist on getting to play, too.

Or I could barge in and embarrass them. Divorce with cause. I bit my lip.

Or I could find a way to watch, and confront Lisa after they left.

The running water in the pipes stopped. Lisa had finished her shower.

I went upstairs to meet her. "Sorry babe," I said. "I couldn't get your connection working, but I should have a chance later this afternoon."

"Fine," Lisa said.

"Oh, there were a couple of calls," I said. "Frank Myers said he's got an investor, wants to talk strategy this evening."

"Already?" Lisa asked, her hands on her hips. "You'd think we'd get a chance to move in."

"Gotta strike while the iron is hot, Lise," I said. "It's possible it might not go through. I got to call him later."

"Okay," she said, like it wasn't. She sighed, and her shoulders relaxed a bit.

"Oh, and there was one for you. It was a woman -- said she was a neighbor you knew. I didn't quite get her name. Said she and her husband might drop by tonight. I said I'd probably be out and you could use the company."

Lisa raised her eyebrows. I thought I saw a little extra pinkness in her cheeks. She coughed. "OK. Let's go back to work, then," she said.