Investigate The Corpse

Moving closer to examine the malicious mallard, you reach out a shaking hand and give it a gentle prod. It doesn't move. Again, you poke it, harder this time. It remains perfectly still. If it was still alive, it most likely would have made its move and attacked you by now. Hoping that it might miraculously revive itself with one final attempt, you jab it with your finger on last time. It moves, the light playing off its shiny flesh as it rolls ever so slightly. You step back in case it tries something, but you still aren't prepared for what happens next: it falls open.

The duck's torso splits down the middle to reveal a completely hollow, well-padded opening inside, and its waist separates from the rest of it, leaving the hips and tail lying separate from the remainder of the torso. Its two yellow legs fall away from this new segment, revealing their nature as a pair of high, yellow, duck-foot-shaped boots. The bill falls from the head, a string apparently intended for tying it to the face going with it and leaving the duck's head with a wide hole for the mouth and two more hollow openings for the eyes. The duck, now appearing far less threatening, is no longer a latex monstrosity but now merely a ludicrous black rubber duck costume, its various parts lying at your feet. On the one hand, this does mean that the duck probably won't be retaliating for your earlier **** anytime soon. On the other, it'll probably look a little odd to your neighbours when they wake up tomorrow morning and see a latex duck costume sitting on your front deck. Not wanting them to get the wrong kinds of thoughts, you decide to deal with it.

First lifting the bulky torso, you open your door and carry it inside, bringing it to a hall closet and tossing it inside. It's heavier than you'd expected it to be, and it takes more effort than you'd intended to put into it, but soon you're returning to the deck for waste. You lift it and the feet, holding them in a bundle in your arms and bringing them to the closet as well. Once again, they're considerably heavier than you'd expected, but you still manage to get the job done. Well, mostly done. It feels like you're forgetting something... the bill. Returning outside, you grab the duckbill, and then go back inside and shut the door behind you, locking it in case of further attempts by those creatures. You walk to your bedroom, considering the bill thoughtfully and reminiscing on the night's events. So many strange happenings, with this duck-turned-costume perhaps the most ludicrous of them all, and still you have no inkling as to what's going on or why.

You sigh to yourself, deciding that you're too tired to be thinking through any of this. If you wake up tomorrow and it doesn't turn out that it's all been some fanciful dream brought on by an overactive imagination, you can figure it all out then. For now, you need some rest. Drooping the costume bill haphazardly on your night table, you tug the chain on your bedside lamp and close your eyes, drifting away with hopes that tomorrow is at least more sensible than tonight has been.