Rachel McAdams

I didn't know what hit me. I had been crossing a quiet LA road late at night when I heard screeching brakes and got knocked to the floor.

I got back on my feet. I didn't feel much pain, and I didn't think any long term damage had been done. There were a couple of bystanders came to see if I was OK. The driver had stopped a few feet away. She got out of the car, and I instantly recognised her - it was Rachel McAdams. She was wearing a pink blouse and a short, tight skirt. She looked even better in the flesh.

"I'm so sorry! Are you OK?" she asked. I suddenly realised that I had it made. There was an obvious smell of **** on her breath. Drunk driving causing injury would be ten years in California State. Rachel was mine.

"I'm not really sure," I said. "I think I might have whiplash."

"You idiot!" said one of the bystanders. "You were swerving all over the road, and doing at least 60!"

"I'm gonna call the police," I said.

Rachel looked shocked. "No, please, you can't!" she said. "I'm an actress..."

"Everyone's an actress in this town."

"No, I mean, a scandal like this, a few years in prison at this age, my career would be over... Please don't call the police, I'll do anything..."