Into the Lions Den

The crowd erupted, even over the noisy dance music that had started playing to mark Lucy's entrance, as they were served up their first naked and in the flesh glitch, and one of the most beautiful and popular ones at that.

Melanie could see what millions of viewers around the globe would also be watching right now on a monitor backstage. Lucy could not have been more of a natural at this. She sauntered out, smiling and blowing kisses at the crowd, before stopping to work her magic in front of a frenzied paparazzi enclosure. She then worked the crowd effortlessly. Melanie noticed her walk past some crazy looking guy in a "Marry Me Melanie!" T-shirt while another held up a banner with "Melanie Jones: ENF Poster Girl!" written above a quite realistic looking drawing of her, red faced and trying unsuccessfully to cover her naked body. She really dreaded having to walk past those two in particular later on.

The big screen that would intermittently be showing live footage from inside the mansion was currently playing silent video of Lucy from the UK series of the show. She looked stunning in every shot - whether lounging by the pool, showering, making out with Leilani or doing her daily Pilates.

The music stopped as Lucy made it onto the stage and was greeted by the two presenters who were ready and waiting, microphones in hand. Melanie felt like she kind of recognised both but couldn't quite place either. The female presenter was stunningly beautiful and glamorously dressed and probably in her mid thirties, while the male was maybe twenty years her senior, with salt and pepper hair and looked distinguished in his tailored suit. The questions were pretty inane.

"So Lucy" the male presenter began with a wry smile "Can you just confirm for us whether or not you are under a truth spell tonight?"

"I'm not, Mel reversed that one long ago. But luckily for you guys I am pretty much an open book anyway" Lucy winked.

"So Lucy" the hot female presenter started, before being interrupted by her guest.

"Oh, I just love your outfit tonight, babe! What do you think of mine?" Lucy gave her naked body a twirl to the rapturous approval of the crowd. Melanie was now feeling even more inadequate seeing just how good her friend was at this.

"I think I can speak for all of us when I say you really pull that look of fabulously" the presenter laughed, to cheers of agreement from the audience "I was going to ask how you felt about how much control the fans are going to have over you all this season, including rumours they may have the opportunity to switch the roommates around to create new couplings?"

"I say bring it on!" Lucy shouted defiantly, though Melanie doubted that was how she really felt considering how much shit she had gotten for swapping peoples rooms in the last season "I guess I could use a break from Lei's snoring anyway!"

After a couple more questions Lucy was released and allowed to head back into the mansion, where she appeared in giant nude form on the big screen. Of course, she completely played along with the premise that she was completely new to the place and pretended to be excited by the sight of the hot tub, sauna and everything else she had been in the same room as less than half an hour ago.

"One down, twenty one to go" Melanie sighed quietly to herself.

Next up was Tina, who, after a few beers, seemed to be having the time of her life out there, leaping up and down excitedly in front of the press and fans who just loved seeing her boobs and butt jiggling as she did so. Leilaini followed, then Laura and both also looked super confident out there. In fact, Laura had to be gently escorted away from her adoring fans by a production assistant so as to keep things running on time. The twins at least had the luxury of going on together to share the attention and seemed happy enough as they did their thing, even making out with each other for the cameras. Tania surprised Melanie by how much she seemed to get into the experience, bantering with the crowd like a pantomime villain and urging a few people who were jokingly booing her to do it louder.

The first glitch to show any sign of nerves was Chelsea, probably not helped by the fact she was having to do this simultaneously effectively naked and dressed as a cat. She was visibly blushing, and had to be guided back to the paparazzi after trying to leave them too early. The crowd seemed to jump on this ENF vibe and the clamour for her seemed to intensify as she reached them. Melanie realised now that the best thing she could possibly do was appear as confident as possible when it came to her turn. She had no idea how she was going to pull that off though. If she had a cocktail to hand she would have necked it.

From wanting things to speed up so this could be over and done with, Melanie was now panicking inwardly at just how quickly everything was now moving. Eight glitches were already in the mansion and her time was inevitably coming. She remembered Cersei having to do something like this in Game of Thrones as a literal form of ****, and even feeling sorry for the actress being obliged to walk naked past that many extras. She could never have imagined then that her very own walk of shame would be coming one day, and the moment was nearly here.