Intermission: Iris' retrospection (part 2)

...an Electromancer? I... I couldn't even react at that point. There was so much happening in the last day that I felt a little numb. Well, it wasn't my fault, but who would believe me? Not even I felt like I was telling myself the truth.

Youngwoo... is a strange person. With power of regression, he could have just found out Clairvoyant's whereabouts, dominated her and ended this charade before it ever could begin. Was he too attached to that Hilda girl to do it? Or was it that he was too dumb to realize that way even existed? Probably both.

Of course, I wasn't naive. Ieva had told us that Norma was one of the first people to enter the Tower. Even with regression, Youngwoo could only stop her after she'd been sitting in this place for some time. But still, he could've prevented so much bloodshed, so why didn't he?

...perhaps I've overthought this. Maybe him turning back the clock more would bring more harm than it could bring good? Well... I can't lie that it's a possibility. But, that would be an issue to discuss some other day.

The day had been pretty damn hard on me. First thing in the morning after I went away from Ieva's room, I saw them two cuddle together. They looked so... warm together. For some reason, I felt my heart beat in my throat at that moment. No, I shouldn't be feeling like that!!! Why did it feel like I wanted something like that, too?!!

...

...who was I kidding? I did want something like that. I could lie to everyone, but not my body. Not to myself. I did want Giordi to hold me. Long ago, I dreamed about waking up in his arms... about him simply hugging me, telling me that everything would be fine... but that never happened.

He was a valiant, strong person, worthy of wielding the SSS-rank skill the Tower gave to him, but... he was also a dunce at times. Honestly, I loved him for all that, but he... he never did love me.

The first two companions we met on our journey up the Tower were twins, Ginny and Honey. Both of them were Gnomes, and... they both swayed Giordi.

I didn't understand it then. I don't understand it now. I was taller than them. Smarter than them. Stronger than them. Then, why?! Why did he choose them, and BOTH of them at the same time, instead of me?!

...I tried to justify his decision. Tried telling myself that I was a murderer unworthy of love. A genocidal machine only born to kill, and not to feel. But... was it really true? I never really knew. For how smart I was, my emotional development was never too great. It wasn't until many sleepless nights came that I truly understood what I was feeling.

That weird feeling of jealousy soon abated when we met more of our friends, and when the twins saved me... well, I started seeing them in much warmer light altogether. Perhaps it was me in the wrong all along? Sometimes I wished I knew, but... the Tower was unwilling to ever help me. This damnable place, a construct that enslaved innocent lives for entertainment of higher beings... I vowed many times to try and destroy it if I could. And many, many times, I tried, and always failed.

...

After the morning, me and Youngwoo met that woman, named Shadow. She wasn't dangerous to him, not in the slightest, but... she did make my blood boil. The actions of that Clairvoyant, of herself... Using weaker than themselves and killing those that would become stronger. I knew it well from experience. That was almost the same thing Elders of the Academy did to me.

I wanted to strangle her, I really did. But that wouldn't solve the issue. The real problem was Norma. So even if I could, I would have to suppress my reactions. Well, I was sure the issue would be solved by time I returned to my physical form.

...

And then, he received his skill. At first, I laughed. He was doing all he could, strained himself for hours on end, and all he got in return was a measly F-rank? I really wanted to see his expression... but he thanked Giordi. 'This is already more than I hoped for'? That man was impossible... and he was just like Giordi.

Giordi was just like that. Polite, kind, welcoming, warm. It sometimes seemed like he COULDN'T get mad. Not even when he received an almost fatal wound from our companions during sparring did he ever yell. Sure enough, he sometimes frowned or made a fierce look, but that was it. Did he also have some kind of a skill like 'Calm Mind'? Hell if I knew. To begin with, he was a mystery. Nobody really knew where he came from. He told us that he was a part of 8th generation and his parents died, but... in all honesty, I never found out anything about his family. He was a strange person... maybe that's the reason he likes Youngwoo so much.

...

And then we met the Electromancer, Holly. She is still young, but her power got some potential. If only she used it properly. There are many types of 'Mancers', and all of them specialize in different things.

Pyromancers have amazing firepower and range, at the cost of no defensive abilities. Our friend, Caal, a Half-Giant, was a Pyromancer, and his destructive power was second only to mine.

Cryomancers have good both offensive and defensive utility, but more often than not they can become a handicap for their companions.

Auramancers specialize in manipulation of Aura itself, and can deal immense damage to one's spirit, or cripple their skills before they are fired. They have great supportive utility, but they sometimes hurt themselves as well.

Terramancers are masters of earth. Their defensive power is only second to Trolls themselves, but durability of their shield can only be bested by S-rank spells like Great Barrier or even stronger ones.

Venomancers specialize in dealing with targets that can take many hits. The poison they spread can even negate Trolls' healing abilities if trained enough.

Aeromancers are amazing scouts. They can move silently and swiftly, but it comes at a cost of being very frail and generally having little offensive abilities.

And then there were Electomancers, like that Holly girl. They have great supporting ability, being capable of paralyzing many targets at once, but they typically don't have any attacking moves. They can also charge themselves to accelerate their movement speed and reflexes if they want to. If charged enough, their base attack can deal some damage, but that's not their specialty. On top of that, the biggest drawback of them is, they need to recharge, typically with a Magistone. Unless one has a stash of those little things, they are almost useless as an Electromancer.

...

This brings back memories. My old companions in our conquest of the Tower in our world were all kind of diverse. This girl's personality reminds me a lot of my closest friend, Aria. She was our main healer, and the reason she stuck with me was because she tended to my wounds a lot.

"Iris, you shouldn't go overboard this much!" She tended to berate me after some training sessions. But she never meant what I did to the training grounds, but what my skills did to me, instead.

My skillset was wide. I've spent 15 years learning skills in Academy, and then spent another 27 perfecting all the techniques. I had a counter for nearly any enemy. I was destruction incarnate... but so was the backlash.

Almost all skills in Tower have backlash for use, proportionate and closely tied to what it does. A frost-inducing skill will likely strike the caster with cold, a fireball will burn them, and so on and so on. My skills were no different. Earth Rupture tended to crack my bones, and sometimes shattered them altogether. Disintegration burned my aura and poisoned my blood. But, if I had to pick one skill that caused me the most pain, it would be a simple answer. Judgement.

'Judgement' is a simple skill. Sacrifice your own health to deliver a judgement from up above onto an enemy. More often than not, this skill obliterated masses in seconds, and even boss monsters couldn't just face it head on. As the skill rank increased, its cost decreased a little, its power increased, but there were also more effects in the recoil.

At around A-rank, the backlash started becoming unbearable. A complete stop to all regeneration for almost an hour. A splitting headache. Sometimes there were internal bleeding, sometimes it cracked or broke my ribs. One time I almost lost an eye because of it, even.

And not even when the skill rose to SS-rank, did it reduce the penalties by a lot. This was the reason I almost never used it since it evolved to its final form. And Aria was the one who convinced me to do it. In all honesty, I was born with pain. I was used to it. Me and suffering were the two sides of one coin. But Aria couldn't stand me hurting myself. Out of our entire group, she was the only person whom I could trust with my life.

...and then the 90th floor came. The monstrosity that we charged at... killed her first. It understood who the real threat was. And when I saw it finish her off... well. There was a reason I was known as the Calamity Incarnate. And I made sure that thing got to understand it.