Inside a crowded mascot cafe, Sugar Plastique

It isn't rare for me to go to Akihabara. I love detective stories and dramas, but I also sometimes like to watch anime and read manga like everyone else. Who doesn't like discount electronics and bargain hunting, too? There's also pretty girls in maid costumes and cosplay here and there... you know, if you're into that.

A maid cafe would have actually been a pretty nice place to have an excuse to go to on company time, even for a bomb defusal. If I managed to become a hometown hero and defuse a bomb, maybe they'd give me a recurring discount or VIP treatment! Instead, I ended up in the kind of bizarre place I'd never go normally.

The first sight that greeted me by the door wasn't a smiling maid or a cosplay girl, but instead, a person in a mascot costume, with the over-sized head of a magical girl. Just the head wouldn't be so bad, but their body was also covered up by a puffed-up, cartoony version of the character's body. They were handing out flyers to people passing by, but it seemed like it'd be hard to even move in that getup. "Welcome to Sugar Plastique!" they greeted me as I reached the door. They seemed relieved to have somebody actually coming inside, rather than just walking by.

I gave them an awkward nod, peeking around their massive head to peer inside the shop. There were more questionably cute mascot girls walking around the shop, seemingly twiddling their thumbs, because there were really no customers to deal with. I felt a little bad for them, until I saw that they were charging a pretty penny for all the foodstuffs here. Weird mascot costumes or high priced meals-- pick one, guys!

As if sensing that I suddenly had reservations, the mascot girl in front of me waggled her hands in the air randomly, trying to catch my attention. "We're holding a special today, ma'am! There's a great special today, ma'am! Our supplier brought in three magic boxes! The first customer who comes in gets to pick a box! Wouldn't you know it? That's you, ma'am!" the greeter celebrated, pulling out a party popper and shooting confetti all over me.

I returned a sour frown in response, shrugging off confetti, before gasping loudly. The bomb! Those boxes could be related, I realized! "You're right!" I told the staff, grabbing her hand to shake it while quickly sliding my way past. Unfortunately, I found myself wedged into the door frame between her bulky suit. "Hrrrgh, let me in! It's important!"

"Loving that enthusiasm, ma'am!"

I begged her to stop calling me ma'am, given that we were probably about the same age, while I managed to squeeze my thankfully rather slim body the rest of the way through. The mascots were practically tripping over themselves to come meet me and take me to a table, but I continued dashing past them, bobbing and weaving through oversized anime girl heads. I had to find that room, immediately!

Near the back of the restaurant, a curtained area was waiting, with sparkly pink "VIP" letters over it. I felt myself frown-- this looked like something you'd see in a strip club, not a Akihabara cafe. There was no time to over-analyze it! I threw the curtain open and looked inside.

There was a little booth here, yes, but the entire surface of the table was occupied not by menus or utensils, but instead, three ornate black boxes with silver, metallic locks across their lids and circular holes on them. This was it-- it matched the photo perfectly. The boxes were labeled A, B, and C, just like in the photo, although the holes hadn't been clear at the time. I wondered what they could be for...

A hand clasping my shoulder nearly caused me to jump out of my trousers. "These are the magic boxes, ma'am! You're so lucky! You get to pick one, just for walking through the door! This is the sort of memory you're going to want to share with all of your friends!" the greeter congratulated me.

I laughed nervously. She had a point, in a way. If I managed to disarm a bomb on my first day, I was definitely going to let all of my co-workers know about it. I needed to build up all the credibility I could manage to balance the inherent indignity of my new job.

"Well, I understand from our sponsor that it's best if I close this curtain back and give you privacy while you pick. I hope you'll just adore whatever you get! My name's Nifty Napalm, so if you have any other questions, just ask for me! When you're done, we'll get you a menu lickety split!"

It didn't seem like I was leaving this place without paying for something. I sighed, then nodded and thanked her until she finally left me alone. I began to inspect the boxes behind the privacy of the curtain. A, B, and C... the boxes appeared to be functionally identical besides the size of the holes. If these things really were bombs, I didn't want to recklessly start poking, prodding, or fiddling with the locks. Carefully, not with mortal terror, no, but with what I like to think of as logical discretion, I began to turn the boxes over in my hands and peek inside the holes.

Nothing. I couldn't figure out a thing. They each had a little latch near the lid that I was too afraid to try pushing open and they each had a heft to them suggesting some metallic components inside, most nearly like holding a toy jack-in-the-box, I figured. I tried my best to peek into the hole, even using my phone as a miniature flashlight, but all I could see was some sort of metallic glint. Thinking about some sort of blades or movie-like **** devices inside, I wasn't about to stick my fingers in there recklessly.

"I'm sensing some hesitation, detective."

The voice was coming from outside the curtain this time. It wasn't the same voice as Nifty Napalm-- although her silhouette implied she was in a mascot costume, her voice was the malicious, velvet voice of Lady Lock.

I froze in place, afraid to even turn, let alone open the curtain.

"Rookie... I'm like a treasure secured by an intricate lock. To discover the real me... to know me and feel me... you will need to twist, turn, prod, pull, insert, and twist. Can you handle that? Insertion?"

I had no idea what the hell she was talking about. I asked her: "are you saying there's some kind of key to these boxes?"

"The key that these boxes want are the same keys that I want from the detectives at that pathetic agency of yours. Try to figure it out."

I asked her if they were really bombs.

"Ooooh ho ho ho ho ho! Do a little detective work yourself, Rookie! When you've figured it out, I'll be waiting at the next location. Our fun is just beginning..."

Finally, I tried to pull back the curtain and lay eyes on her, but she'd simply evaporated. That shadowy figure was nowhere to be seen. All that was left to do was to figure out the answer to that cryptic riddle...