Inara tells Jimmy Olsen the story of how he became the owner of The Paradise Club

"It all started when you volunteered to go undercover here at The Paradise Club to learn more about whether or not it was a front for Intergang - given how Lois Lane refused to go undercover as a dancer and wouldn't let her precious Clarky poo get his lapdance on." Inara said, ending her sentence with a judgmental roll of her purple eyes. "Especially since they lined the floor and roof with lead, supposedly as a marketing gimmick - "even the Man of Steel's gotta pay a cover to see the hottest girls in Metropolis!"

Jimmy Olsen blinked in shock.

"Um. I think I'd remember this-"

"Oh, that's the best part! I warped the past a teensy bit so this could happen! You're welcome! Well, maybe more than a teensy bit-"

"You WHAT the WHAT?" Jimmy yelped, before clearing his throat and remembering to lower his voice, not that the huge, muscular guys in suits guarding the entrances to his private balcony reacted either way.

Inara shrugged, making her large chest bounce.

"You were the one who wanted to make sure you showing up wouldn't cause any distress for anyone! Superman's Pal popping in out of nowhere in a club owned by Intergang? That'd be a beatdown for you - pretty distressing, no?"

"Well, y- yeah, but-" he stammered.

She pressed a hot, slim finger against his lips and giggled.

"Shh, lemme tell you the story! I'm pretty proud of myself and I haven't even begun to get to the best parts!"

Jimmy sighed and leaned back against the soft leather sofa, then made a "go on" motion with his hands.

Inara stood up and began sauntering back and forth, pacing with excitement, which was a show in and of itself. Jimmy shook his head and **** himself to focus.

"So, yeah, where was I? Oh, yes, going under cover! You put on a silly wig and mustache and at first, it worked - nobody recognized you! Most people here pay attention to the girls, not the horny male customers, so you became a regular, no problem. Mind you, your "chief" wasn't too happy on all the money you were blowing with no results besides sweaty lapdances, so you had to step it up a little. Somehow, you managed to sneak into the manager's office and hid in the closet just before an important meeting. That's when you first saw that little gizmo you found in your suit jacket!"

He blinked and then dipped his hand into his jacket and found the weird looking ray gun again. Looking closer, he noticed that, instead of a space for loading a cartridge of bullets, it seemed to have a recording device and a speaker attached.

"Turned out that this was a front for Intergang, at least at first, but then it became one of their most successful legitimate businesses! The previous manager, Tony, he was old school mob, a real boring guy, but he ran a tight ship. So, as a reward, his bosses gave him that little doodad - an experimental mind control ray from Apokalips itself."

Jimmy blanched at the gun in his hand and almost dropped it in dismay.

"I'd be careful with that! It has a hair trigger and it doesn't exactly work as advertised - as you all found out that night!"

"What happened?" Jimmy asked, feeling like he might already know the answer.

"Well, you hid in the closet as the Intergang guy explained that this gun could record any statement and then the next person you shot it at would believe it was the absolute truth. Tony, the manager, called in one of the girls who'd just started - Consuela - and tried it out on her . . . with mixed results. You see, believing something isn't the same as being mind controlled."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, he told Consuela down there - the Latina number with the huge booty - that she loved it up the ass, which she now believed 100% . . . but that didn't mean she wanted her gross, old boss to fuck her up the ass right then and there. He and the Intergang guy got into an argument in front of her and let some things slip which was all she needed."

"Needed for what?"

"Her little cop uniform down there? It's what you'd call, ah, ironic. You weren't the only one going under cover turns out! She tried to freeze both of them but only got Tony with a quick "You can't move!" before Edge got the gun away from her. Needless to say, he was none too pleased that a cop had infiltrated their operation. He had some, ah, very creative new beliefs for her, starting with the idea that she hated being a cop and loved being a slutty stripper more than anything! That she had to be The Paradise Club's #1 Girl! That's when you decided you just had to play hero!"

He raised an eyebrow confusedly, looking around.

"Yeah, a few things went a little, mmm, shall we say, sideways? You got the gun away from Edge but not before he barked "I'm the boss here!" into it and tried shooting that belief into your brain . . . just before you blinded him with your camera and got his gun. He yelled for more goons to come in and take you out but you got a little trigger happy."

"How trigger happy?"

"Well, you figured your cover was blown and the safest idea was to make sure nobody tried to take you out was to use that gun! Which you did, on Edge, two huge goons-" she nodded in either direction at the entrances to the balcony "Their names are Todd and Steve, by the way - and Consuela by accident because she startled you, then again on Cherry and Jasmine who just happened to walk in the door when you were leaving."

"Oh, no." he muttered.

"Oh, yes!" she giggled. "Turned out that when you use the gun too many times in a row, it gets a little overheated, and the previous commands get jumbled up with the newest one. So, in just five minutes, Edge and his goons thought you had always been the owner of the Paradise Club . . . along with Consuela, Cherry and Jasmine, who also believed that they now absolutely HAD to be your #1 girl here at The Paradise Club!"

Jimmy blanched in shock.

"That's- that's crazy! I would have tried to fix them!"

She stopped pacing and patted his cheek in a patronizing fashion.

"Well, you certainly wanted to . . . but Edge and his goons were suddenly asking why this old creep was in your chair and you realized that, if you fixed them right away, they'd kill you and Consuela for sure. So, you decided to play along for a little bit - which meant you had to zap Destiny, that leggy blonde down there, and everybody else into believing you were in charge. Thankfully, only the girls internalized the bits about becoming your #1 girl and loving being a slutty stripper more than anything - otherwise you'd have had the bartender and a few other goons climbing the poles!"

"But why didn't-"

"Oh, that's the funniest part! As they were carting out Tony, the old owner who had 'suffered a stroke,' Edge let you, the NEW owner of The Paradise Club know that your new toy could overheat and jumble commands a little too late . . . as well as the fun fact that trying to make a person believe two things that contradict one another would turn them into a vegetable!"

Jimmy's jaw dropped.

"So that meant-"

"You're now the owner of the Paradise Club and if you tried to convince anybody working here otherwise, you'd melt their brains! Ditto for trying to get Consuela back into being a cop again - so long vice squad, hello vice lover! Oh, and good luck making the four girls working that night want to be anything BUT The Paradise Club's number one girl or make them think that they didn't love anything more than being slutty strippers! The second half really improved their performances, even if it did kind of ruin their silly little dreams-"

"I- I mind controlled four girls into being strippers?" he squeaked in shock.

"In fairness to you, you did it all on accident! And they were already strippers, albeit mostly just for other reasons before you changed their minds to make it their goal in life! Really, they literally couldn't be happier - they honestly believe that this is what they want to do with their lives. Well, now, anyways." she ended with a chuckle. "Did you know Jasmine wanted to be a neurosurgeon and was just dancing her way to pay through med school?"

He blushed, remembering Jasmine's spirited, manic titfucking from just a few minutes ago.

"A neurosurgeon, really? Then why- wait, what else aren't you telling me?"

Inara smirked.

"Well, you know how I said the gun just makes people believe things? Well, being "your #1 girl" manifested itself a little differently in each one of your employees. Cherry, the busty redhead, she's obsessed with being your top earner - she'll do anything for a buck, just for the satisfaction of knowing she's the top moneymaker in the club - including anything you tell her is part of the job. ANYTHING."

She gave him a wink.

"Destiny, the leggy blonde? She was an actress, so now she thinks being your number one girl means putting on the biggest, most elaborate shows - hence the elaborate yoga routine she's going through down there. Consuela always thought strippers were just glorified hookers before she got those lovely new beliefs and so now she tries to fuck the most guys in the champagne room because that's what a number one stripper does in her mind - preferably up the ass, since that's her new favorite position. Man, it makes Cherry just FURIOUS how much sluttier she's gotta be to make more money than her-"

Jimmy gulped, suddenly suspecting he knew the answer to the question he was about to ask.

"And what about Jasmine?"

Inara plopped down onto the couch next to Jimmy and let out a long, delighted laugh.

"Oh, Jasmine? For a girl studying the human mind, she sure had LOTS of unresolved Daddy issues. She took the whole "number one girl" thing in a WAY more romantic context than any of the others! She's madly, hopelessly in love with you and will do anything it takes to make you happy and flat-out get your attention. When she saw you checking out Cherry's DD's, she just had to get a set as big as hers! Ditto for the ass implants once she saw you checking out Consuela."

Jimmy groaned and rubbed his face.

"I shoulda known you were an evil genie!"

"Ifrit, darling, not a genie - and why are you complaining! Jimmy Olsen now runs The Paradise Club - permanently!"

"WHAT?"

She gave him an exaggerated frown.

"Well, if you didn't stay the boss of The Paradise Club, their beliefs would stop being true and their brains would go snap, crackle, pop! You couldn't do that to all these innocent people! Well, mostly innocent. Also, you're now the FBI's best source regarding Intergang, so it isn't all bad . . . plus the perks, which you've only just begun to sample."

"What about my old life as a photographer?" he sputtered. "I LIKED working for the Daily Planet!"

"Oh, you still take PLENTY of photographs, believe me!" she said with a smirk. "Plus, you get tons of Intergang guys to turn themselves in with your little mind control gun and all the info you leak! You wanted to stop working here and even begged STAR Labs to reverse the gun's power somehow but oopsy-daisy! It turns out they just can't fix it for some reason and now it only works for you!"

Jimmy stared at the gun in his hand. Could he really make anyone believed whatever he wanted? That kind of power could corrupt really easily - which he quickly realized was the point.

"OK, OK, very funny." he said with a scowl. "But sexy evil genie playtime is over! I can contact a superheroine and she'll fix this whole mess!"

He reached up to tap his watch triumphantly, figuring his pal Superman would be able to get a hold of Zatanna or Wonder Woman to help him figure this all out and fix it somehow.

"Oh, no, whatever will I do?" Inara said with a wicked gleam in her eyes. "Sure you don't want to just enjoy six other wishes, wishes that will make your wildest erotic fantasies come true? Considering you're just going to have some witch or some magical Amazon reverse all my evil magic afterwards, nobody would ever know . . ."

Jimmy scoffed.

"Ha! I'm not dumb enough to be tricked into making another stupid wish, Inara, no matter what you say!"

Inara looked at him confusedly, cocking her head.

"Oh, really? Then why did you just wish for Wonder Woman to be one of your strippers here at The Paradise Club?"

Jimmy stood up and wagged a finger at her.

"No! You're not tricking me again! No WAY did I ever say that!"

"Say what?"

"That I wish Wonder Woman was another horny stripper here at The Paradise Club! Unless, wait - was that was part of where you just warped the past or . . . "

His jaw dropped as he realized what he'd just been tricked into saying.

"Oh! Oh, no, no, NO!"

"Oh, yes, yes, YES!" Inara cackled with delight. "Consider your second wish granted, Jimmy Olsen!"

The DJ below stopped the music briefly to make an announcement.

"Coming out on the main stage, everybody welcome our newest addition to The Paradise Club! Give it up for . . . PRINCESS!"

Jimmy rushed to the balcony railing and his jaw dropped as he saw Wonder Woman strut out past a retreating Destiny to the main stage, her beautiful face contorted with pure animal lust as she sauntered down the stage in what looked to be a pornographic version of her famous uniform. The crowd went wild.

"I am in SO much trouble!" he squeaked.