In the past - #3

Vicky998: "Good morning, Niddhi. How are you feeling today?"

I took a deep breath, my fingers trembling as I typed my reply.

"I don't want to talk anymore. It's not your fault; I enjoyed our conversations, but I can't continue. I realized it was a mistake, and it's not right. I feel guilty, and I don't want that. We won't talk from now on."

There was a pause before his response came through, and I felt a pang of sadness mixed with relief.

Vicky998: "I won't disturb you if that's what you want. But remember, I am already your BFF now. Just don't remove me from your friend list or block me. Trust me, I won't bother you, but I really consider you my best friend now. So just keep on posting happy moments of your life. That will let me know you are happy, and it is my genuine concern to see your happy face. You are an amazing girl. I hope you understand what I am trying to say. If you don't ever feel you have to talk to me, it's okay, but always remember I will be here. If there is anything I can help with, message me without hesitation. Good luck and have a wonderful wedding. Bye, Niddhi. I'll miss you."

I felt tears welling up as I read his message. Despite everything, I appreciated his understanding and kindness.

"Thank you for understanding. I appreciate everything. I'll always remember you as a good friend. Goodbye..."

Vicky998: "Goodbye, Niddhi. Take care and be happy."

I put down my phone, feeling a mix of relief and sadness. It was the right decision, but that didn't make it any easier. I knew I had to focus on my relationship with Raj and prepare for our future together.

As the days passed, I threw myself into wedding preparations, trying to keep my mind occupied. I occasionally thought about Vicky998 and his words, but I reminded myself that I had made the right choice. My relationship with Raj deserved my full attention and commitment.

Every now and then, I would see a notification from Vicky998 liking one of my posts or leaving a supportive comment. It was a small reminder that he was still there, quietly cheering me on from a distance. I hoped he would find happiness too, and that our brief but intense friendship had a positive impact on both of our lives.

Raj and I had grown closer as our wedding date approached, learning more about each other and deepening our bond. However, we hadn't yet shared details about our pasts.

One evening, approximately one month before our wedding date, while we were on a voice call, Raj started to open up.

Raj: "Niddhi, there's something I need to tell you about my past. I've had two serious relationships before. Both lasted a few years, but they ended after the womens I dated got married to other people."

I was taken aback, not expecting this revelation. Raj continued, revealing more about his past.

Raj: "I dated Neha for three years and Sana for two years. My first relationship started when I was 24 & have been single for past 4 years."

I did some quick mental math. Me: "Raj, that would make you... 33 years old now?"

Raj fell silent for a moment, realizing the slip. Raj: "Yes, I'm 33. I know it must be surprising. Only your dad knows, and your mom doesn't. I didn't mean to hide it from you, and I'm really sorry."

I was concerned, but not about his age. Me: "Raj, I don't want to break off our engagement. I've always believed that once we're married, it's for seven lifetimes. But I need to understand if you feel the same way about marriage."

Raj's voice softened, filled with sincerity. Raj: "Niddhi, you are wonderful. I always had a gut feeling that you were my soulmate, and now, hearing your thoughts, I'm certain. I too will never break this marriage, no matter what."

Despite his reassurance, I still had questions. Me: "What now? This is happening before our marriage. What if something bad happens afterward? How will we manage? I'm not sure how to deal with this lie of yours."

Raj took a deep breath, thinking carefully before responding. Raj: "There's a way we can be truthful with each other and accept each other's flaws. Even if we can't always talk about our true feelings, we can write letters to each other. Brief letters that include apologies, expressions of love, anger, or any other emotions. In the end, we can also suggest solutions. This way, we can be honest without the fear of immediate confrontation."

Curious, I asked, Me: "How will this work?"

Raj: "I'll start. I'll write a letter apologizing for my mistake and send it to you. After that, we'll forget about this topic and move forward. Does that sound good?"

The idea was new and intriguing, and it excited me. Me: "Yes, that sounds good."

Raj's tone became more serious. Raj: "Since I've shared my past, it's time for you to do the same. Take your time, and remember to be honest. No matter what happens, if all the truths are out, no one can plant the seed of mistrust between us."

I appreciated Raj's approach and felt a new level of trust forming between us. Me: "I like this idea, Raj. I'll wait for your letter, and then I'll share my past with you. Hope that's okay with you?"

A Few Days Later

I received Raj's letter and felt a mixture of anticipation and nervousness as I opened it.

Raj's Letter:

Niddhi,

I'm truly sorry for not revealing my age earlier. It wasn't my intention to deceive you, but I was afraid of how you might react. I regret not being completely honest with you from the start. I want to assure you that my feelings for you are genuine, and I see our marriage as a lifelong commitment. I understand if you feel hurt or betrayed, but I hope we can move past this with trust and love.

Love,

Raj

The first day after receiving Raj's letter, I felt a mixture of relief and uncertainty. His honesty and apology reassured me, but the thought of revealing my own past left me feeling uneasy. I knew I had to be open with him, but I wasn't sure where to start. That day, I decided to postpone writing my letter. Raj and I continued our regular conversations, but he didn't hurry me or bring up the letter again, for which I was grateful.

The second day, I still couldn't bring myself to write the letter. That night, as I was scrolling through social media, I received a notification. Vicky998 had liked my recent picture.

Seeing his name made my heart race with anticipation. Impulsively, I decided to message him.

"Hi Vicky, how are you?"

His reply came almost immediately, filled with passion and affection.

Vicky998: "Hey Niddhi! I'm good, and it's great to hear from you. How are you doing?"

I hesitated for a moment before deciding to share my feelings with him.

"I'm okay, just a bit confused and unsure about something."

Vicky998: "What's on your mind? You know you can tell me anything."

Taking a deep breath, I started typing.

"Raj and I are getting married in a month. He recently shared his past with me, including his previous relationships and his real age. We had a good talk about it, and he suggested we write letters to each other to express our true feelings and accept each other's flaws. I received his letter, but I'm unsure about what to write in mine."

Vicky998: "I see. That's quite a lot to process. What did he share with you exactly?"

"He told me about his two previous girlfriends, Neha and Sana, and how they left him after getting married. He also revealed that he's 33 years old, which was a surprise to me. Only my dad knew, and he was apologetic about not telling me sooner."

Vicky998: "That must have been a shock. How do you feel about it?"

"I was surprised, but I understand why he didn't tell me. I don't want to break off the engagement, but I feel uneasy about revealing my past."

Vicky998: "I understand. It's important to be honest, though. What are you thinking about sharing?"

"The same thing I shared with you, About sohail & vicky & maybe about you..."

Vicky998: "It sounds like you should be as honest and detailed as possible. If Raj was able to share his past so openly, it's only fair that you do the same. Maybe you could start by explaining your relationship with Sohail in detail, including how often you were intimate. It might help Raj understand your past better."

I felt a little nervous but knew he was right.

"Do you think I should mention my attraction towards Vicky & online chats with you?"

Vicky998: "You could mention it vaguely, without naming names or specific times. Focus more on your relationship with Sohail since that seems to be the most significant part of your past. And you can also briefly touch upon the fun chats casually, but immediately focus back on Sohail. The important part is to be honest and show that you're willing to share your true self with Raj."

His advice made sense, and I felt more confident about writing the letter.

"Thank you, Vicky. That really helps. I'll write the letter tomorrow."

Vicky998: "I'm glad I could help. Good luck, Niddhi. And remember, I'm always here if you need someone to talk to."

"Thanks, Vicky. After I send the letter, I'll be busy with the wedding preparations. Hopefully, everything goes well, and I'll let you know how things are after the wedding. But I can't continue chatting like this. Thanks for all your help. I feel like a selfish girl, but... hope you understand my situation."

Vicky998: "I understand, Niddhi. Just remember, I'll always be here if you need anything. Take care and have a wonderful wedding."

The next day, I finally sat down to write my letter to Raj.

My Letter:

"Raj,

Thank you for your honesty and your apology. It means a lot to me. I want to share my past with you now. I had a one-year relationship with a man named Sohail. We broke up a year before our engagement was proposed. It was a difficult time for me, and I was also briefly attracted to a colleague before I knew about our engagement. I never acted on it.

Regarding Sohail, we were quite close and intimate. On average, we were intimate about twice a month. I want to be honest with you about this so that you understand my past completely. I also had some fun chats with an online friend, but the important part of my life was my relationship with Sohail. I hope this honesty strengthens our bond and helps us build a future based on trust and understanding.

Love,

Niddhi"

I sent the letter and felt a mix of anxiety and relief. Later that evening, Raj called me.

Raj: "Niddhi, thank you for sharing your past with me. It means a lot. I feel like we understand each other better now, and I'm more confident in our relationship."

"I feel the same way, Raj. I'm glad we did this. It feels like a fresh start."

Raj: "Absolutely. And remember, no matter what happens, we'll face it together. Our commitment to each other is what matters most."

"Yes, Raj. Together, we can handle anything."

Our conversation that night was filled with a renewed sense of trust and intimacy. We were ready to face our future together, knowing that honesty and open communication would be the foundation of our marriage.