Ignore him and deal with the cut

'Great'

'just greeeeaaaat'

A shaving cut was made. A big one at that, just when he thought he couldn't be more annoyed the man who barged in right now.

This man, his father Darth Vader, was the reason that he joined, the real reason he joined the rebellion.

All because of the deaths of two individuals. biggs darklighter and Ben kenobi..

Ben, while luke only truly met him when he was nineteen,(ignoring kenobi, You were made after I originally made this) was still a family friend that helped get him out of danger. Vader killing him right before his eyes? that had enraged him enough to seek ****. Seeing the base that he was guarding go up in smokes was a satisfy thought.

But Biggs' **** truly cemented his joining. Biggs Darklighter was a ex and one of his many many fuck buddies. He was a sandstorm brother a person whom they survived the harshest sandstorms on tatooine and survived together. Supposedly that meant fate had tied their destinies together. not necessarily as lovers, But more than blood Brother Luke truly cared and loved his storm brother And wanted to see him live the rest of his life happily

It truly made him seek **** witnessing bigs be cut downby Vader during the trench run.

That was truly the reason why he joined and stayed.

‘Damn it” Luke cringed from the stinging, painful cut.

Blood had been trickling down already

The wound was Located Right below his kneecap. not deep but stung it like hell, and it was definitely not a small cut.

The it was more apt to call it a gash Formed along the inner part of his font shin, about as long as the length from the tip of his middle finger fingers to the end of his palm Luke had worse, The emperor's lightning was far worse but that didn't stop him from gritting his teeth and wanting to shout curses

The slowly the fresh blood was slowly rolling down his shin. water droplets on his lower leg held still form the forcen making the blood speed up but lose density in its gradually decent down his leg

'Kriff'

_‘Better make sure that doesn't bleed out, wouldn't want to give the tabloid ammunition.’ _He thought jokingly, trying to ease himself form then stinging pain. ignoring the shimmering blue space ghost elephant. Using the ****, he set to work. “I could just imagine the headlines now."

"Luke Skywalker died bleeding out after shaving cut” by New Republic news"

"hero of rebellion died by his own hands, read on to find out how"by coruscant news"

Mens Shaving legs is as bad as washing your arse!" By ragemachine Inc

**

The **** was a gift that granted many things, extracting water from blood so it was dry and the accelerating hemoglobin so that it heals over. Luke wasn't particularly worried about infection because his rasor blade was totally sterile. so long as he held it in his hands. another **** aibility. But again it still hurt so he started focusing on that tangent

'Other less reputable tabloids would be something like'

Only weeklinks louts and degenerate sissy pansy f*** shave their legs” stormfront news

“is mens shaving deadly for your spouse?”find out today!"

(subscribe for only 25.99 C/D to read the full article). Kuat tech inc news

"mens shaving is a sign of Weakness and moral decay, so we should bring back imperial manhood”

Skywalker was, at this point intentionally ignoring his the dark ghost daddy, as his barging in had caused luke's hand to become too rigid to shave with. Bastard was lucky Luke didn't just banish him like he did with Exar kun.

“ Well, are you going to say anything?”

"I'm sorry, I don't know what you're talking about? Do You mean the rogues squadron bi-weekly bisexual orgy?"

"Yes! That-"

"Well if you must know it was canceled and even if wasn't the case I have a date tonight with mara jade

"Oh thank **** I thought you were going to participate more in that...

Luke counted,

'3'

'2'

'1..'

"What with who!"

'Classic,'

Luke was normally a very forgiving person.

He was willing to forgive Mara for her transgressions. Sure she was one of the many instrumental people to the Galactic empires dominance but she was still able to be a good person even if her morals are slightly different

He was willing to forgive firmus peitt or crix madine, both of whom defected and fled to the rebellion. Why would he judge.

He was willing to forgive someone like Kyle katarn (Former stormtrooper) easily Jedi Knight. Sure sure he had a few of Hans wit and personality, which can be possibly aggravating. But he still forgave him, although Kyle still owed Luke some money for the property damage he causes

(thank you Vader for your blood money,Luke may not be Imperial Prince but he sure does have enough money to practically be one. Was he going to use all of it, Maybe but using that blood money to help the Galaxy was a ethical decision he was willing to make.)

Suffice it to say Luke deeply truly would have loved to forgive his father. Especially on his deathbed.

Here's the thing that about that condition

Vader, his **** was the only place he would be willing to forgive him any any long-term **** goes shenanigans? Hell no!

Honestly, he thought that being a space ghosts were just because you were supposed to be a good person. Like Obi-Wan

and daddy vader would be rotting in space hell. Away from Luke's shiny gold head.

Boy was he wrong.

He really wished he did not have to find out that his father was an annoying prick with attachment issues.. granted being hunted down to the edge of the galaxy just for some fatherly son bonding should have been a red flag.

But he didn't expect this.

The only redeeming quality was that he would help the hunt for their Leia and Luke's mother family. Which was nice to finally have a face and name. One of the most foundational women in the galaxy. Small galaxies it seems.

Anyway, Daddy Vader kept on nagging Luke about is sex life.

(Apparently Darth Vader was a demisexal, maybe have been biromantic but Luke couldn't find any evidence on that)

"blah blah blah you should settle down blah blah blah", Luke imitated to himself

"blah blah blah,why don't you go find a nice sentient being to fuck instead of this horde of nothing and debauchery blah blah blah"

"Blah blah blah,Quit drinking hot chocolate blah blah you'll get addicted blah blah"

Seriously, he was a killjoy.

And now he was trying to figure out how to silently **** **** a ghost.

Although not all was bad.

It was admittedly fun in certain instances.

They had an evil laugh competition, Luke won hands down! That's what you get with theater kids.

It was fun to screw with his father. Sure sure he kept the idea of forgiveness, but he didn't have to tolerate him. Bright side is, space Ghosts can't **** **** people.

"Mara Jade, the former emperor's hand?"space Ghost dad said, he was wearing a military uniform, Vader's hair slick back,

'do they have hair gel and space fascist clothes in the afterlife? Could they just change it to any appearance? That's something for another time'

"Yes" Luke replied deadpan

"The one that swore undying allegiance to Sheev Palpatine, my former master, Deposed Emperor to the entire Galaxy"

"Right."

"The that her very first words to you were "Luke Skywalker, I am Mara Jade, I'm here to kill you""

"Exactly the one,"

"You want to go on a date with her!"

"Precisely" Luke said, He was getting a nail file file out, If he was going to be in a boring conversation might as well get something done

"Do you have any idea how much of a pain in the mechanical ass she was! Consistently metaphorically sucking dick of the emperor and then physically sucking up her targets."

"Well. I don't ask my partners previous sex life unless for space STDs but other than that" He said not even looking up from his nail file.

"You're insane, go listen to your sister! She only wants to lure you to kill you,"

"And being strangled by those wonderful thighs would be a **** I won't mind. Besides, I'm just a snap of finger away from changing reality if I don't consent."

"I don't like this,"

"Your opinion is irrelevant to my sex life"

"Where are you even going to meet her!"

"Like l'm ever going to tell you, you filthy old perv.

"I died at 46!"

"And yet attempting to hunt me to the edge of the galaxy was your midlife crisis. All of it was just because you were a sad lonely bitch,Who was afraid your wifey panda bear would die.

You had anxiety about your loved ones dying, You could have just gone to therapy and not overthrow a Democratic Galactic government. It's honestly quite pathetic"

"Why you little-"

***Finger snap***

And with that the nuisance disappeared banished temporarily from Luke's general area. Like a restraining order, but with space magic and space ghosts.

It's only temporary though, Unfortunately

luke loved the peace and quiet.

"Now where did she say she wanted to meet up"

This might be a bit more of a slow burn than people would expect

Let me say, I don't like passive fuck tools, I like people having fucking personalities. Also, I found it incredibly funny as juxtaposition for Vader be a Forrest Ghost, unable to do shit and just be that nagging old Jewish mother complaining about why won't you settle down