I raise the stakes

Alison might have plans for me this week, but that didn't mean that I had to just sit back and take it. It took a trip to the hardware store, but by the time she came prancing back into my kitchen I was ready for her.

“Miss Miller, do you have a minute?” Her eyeroll and soft sigh are subtle, but I see them all the same and let out a sigh of my own. All the same, she hops up on the counter and innocently smooths out her skirt as she waits with a smug grin on her face.

“What's got you all serious, Mr. Patterson?” She asks as she twirls on of her locks of blonde hair with exaggerated care. “Are you having a hard day?” Damn this little tease is pushing all my buttons.

“For starters, young lady,” I don't even have to pretend to be annoyed at my naughty schoolgirl tenant, “get your butt off my counter and into a chair where it belongs.”

“Ooo ... Sir, are you going all old school sit-com dad on me?” I took one step towards her, and she slides off the counter with a quick wiggle. “OK, relax, I get it.” When I pull out the chair for her, she sits demurely with her ankles crossed and lets me adjust the chair as I push her closer to the table.

“Good.” I walk around to the far side of the table but remain standing. “I think it's time we set some house rules.”

“You're not my dad, Mr. Patterson.” Alison plays her part perfectly, fidgeting nervously with her school tie as she puts on a brave front. “You can't tell me what to do.”

“True, but when your dad put you under my care, he told me to do whatever I think necessary to tame this wild streak of yours.” Alison looks down at the table, but not before I see a small smile. “From now, until you graduate this June, I am for all practical purposes your new father.”

“Whatever.” The sassy student starts to push away from the table her tie now dangling in her hand. “I've got a date with Kyle, so I've got to shower up and trim my lady parts.” I can't believe she said that although I have noticed that in spite of her conservative religious upbringing that her bush was always neatly trimmed. However, this is not the issue right now.

“Stop.” I don't raise my voice but all the same she freezes like a deer caught in headlights. “Rule number 1: No dates on school nights.” I stop her protests with a raised finger. “Rule 2: Curfew at Midnight, and Rule 3: No boys in your room.” Considering that her 'date' tonight is completely fictional, Alison's look of indignation is almost perfect.

“This is Bull Shit, Mr. Patterson!” As I expected, these new rules are bringing out the rebellious nature of this sassy high school student.

“Watch your language, Miss Miller!”