I must.

2nd of June, 17XX

After a night of restless sleep and some introspection, I awoke this morning with a strangeness in my core. A mixture of Excitement from the Anticipation of witnessing a father make love to his daughter, and Disgust that it was I who requested to be present in their most intimate moments.

Howard and Gloria were of no help either. I was reading the morning paper when Howard asked me if I were to be breaking my fast here or with the Coopers. After my sputtering and coughing fit, he informed me that they had sent a message, making that very request and if necessary, to prepare a fresh change of clothing. "Is this a common thing then, Howard? For people to spend nights at each other's homes?" I asked, wiping coffee off my chin.

"Generally speaking sir," he started, picking the lint from my jacket, "it is not an uncommon thing. Most of the time, the people here tend to... enjoy each other's company, shall we say, anytime and anywhere they fancy. And should that be within someone's home and the hour is late, the owner of the house is obligated to offer them a place to sleep."

"I don't think obligated is the right word, Howard," Gloria added, clearing the table. "Would it not be more accurate to say that they fell asleep in the same bed and, should they be willing, it makes it easier if they wished to resume in the morning?"

Their squabbling was a most welcome distraction until a thought occurred to me. "Howard, Gloria," I addressed my temporary house staff, "have you two ever...?"

Howard stopped what he was doing, and looked to me, then to Gloria, then back to me. "We have before, but not since entering your service, sir." He narrowed his eyes at me. "If I may sir, are you asking because you'd like us to? Or is it because you'd like to invite one, or perhaps both of us, into your rooms warm your bed for the night?"