I feel so untouched, and I want you so much that I just can't resist you!

13 Years Ago

“Hypersexuality?”

14-year-old Holly sat in her therapist’s office, hearing for the first time a word that would drastically change the course of her entire life.

“Yes,” Dr. Chapman said, wearing a concerned expression on her face. She’d excused Holly’s parents from the room so she could have a discussion with the girl one on one. Subjects like these were very embarrassing for a teenager going through puberty. “Hypersexuality is an **** increase in libido- that is, sexual interest. From the symptoms you and your parents described, and the changes in your… ahem, behaviors, I’m confident in my diagnosis.”

Holly was just a kid. Her knowledge of sex was practically nonexistent, as was the case for many girls her age. And she had certainly not done any sort of actions that would get a story removed from a certain website; that would not take place until she was at least 18, as decency guidelines.

The doctor proceeded to explain Holly’s case first to her, and then privately, to her parents. They all did their best to assuage Holly’s concerns. She wasn’t some weirdo and she wasn’t really sick. She just had slightly stronger sexual impulses than the average person. This would likely lead to compulsions of masturbation and sexual intercourse (again, in adulthood, I cannot stress enough that no sexual acts involving children will be referenced)

It was strange, and she felt a little awkward discussing it with her parents. But they all agreed that Holly’s actions (again, not until she was 18) would be confined to her room, and life in the Anderson household went on as normal.

9 Years Ago

Holly was now 18, and in her senior year of high school. By this point in her life, she’d settled into a pattern of behavior. She’d go to school, keeping her head down and avoiding looking at boys. Boys, they were just so… ugh! She wanted nothing to do with them.

Well, except for Tommy. Tommy she was pretty sure had a crush on her. They both worked in the school library for fourth period, and she always caught him staring at her when he thought she wasn’t looking.

It was cute. And sometimes she wondered what it would be like to have sex with him. But that wasn't special. She thought about sex all the time, pretty much.

While at school Holly looked the part of the shy wallflower, a short nerd cursed with an A-cup who wore dowdy clothes to play down her appeal, when she got home, everything changed. She’d lock herself in her room the second she got back, flip open her computer, and immediately start rubbing herself off to the first pornographic doujin she could find.

That’s the thing about nerds. Regular people watched stuff with hot librarians or sexy strippers, but Holly had sailed well past those limits already. As someone who enjoyed manga, she’d fallen in love with some of the more graphic series, and that had been her gateway **** to some of the REAL sick shit coming in from Japan. Not just tentacle porn, no, that was a stereotype. It wasn’t even necessarily about the content. But seeing the ridiculous proportions, the bulging muscles, breasts the size of beach balls, mountains of semen spraying out all over people, it was an addiction that she couldn’t quit, and she had a doctor’s note saying she didn’t have to.

The more experience she got handling her urges, the easier it became for her body to give into them. It reached the point where she could achieve orgasm within the span of a couple seconds. She became a master of understanding what set her body off, which was frankly pretty easy- just about anything could set her off. She could achieve ten orgasms no problem in the span of a half-hour, without even taking a rest break, that was just how strong her hypersexuality (or, as she now liked to call it because it was so much hotter that way, nymphomania) was.

And good thing, too. If she wasn’t such a quick shot, she never would have been able to maintain both her grades and her “extracurricular activities”. She would have been split between studying and masturbation, and if it came down to a choice between the two of those, well…

At least community college would have been an option.

“H-Hey, Holly…”

Holly looked up from the book cart to see Tommy standing in front of her, pimply face red and eyes shifting. He looked like he wanted to say something.

“Yes?”

Upon addressing him, the light of courage went out in Tommy’s eyes and he deflated slightly. “Just, um… can I take some of those? My stack’s pretty light, so…”

“Sure,” Holly nodded. Tommy took some of the books from her cart, which lightened her load considerably. She thanked him with a smile that made him turn even redder. What a nice guy. …Still, though, he just wasn’t her type. It wasn’t anything particularly wrong with Tommy, of course, he was a sweetheart.

But Holly was an idealist. After spending so much time satisfying herself carnally in every way she could find, she’d developed very peculiar, twisted standards. While somehow maintaining a pure heart to go with them.

Holly wanted to fall in love. Not like some cloying teenage hormone-fueled “I want to be with him/her!” drive, like what Tommy clearly felt for her. No, she wanted to love someone totally. Find that special someone who she could just lose herself in, a sensitive soul where she would just know from the moment they met it was true love. Her prince charming.

Tommy was great. But there was no spark there. No passion. They’d barely had a real conversation all semester. Was she just supposed to fall head over heels for him because he was nice to her?

As senior year progressed, Holly became acutely aware of the fact that true love would not be found in high school. Oh, certainly, there were boys who made her feel all funny, but that was her libido talking. Unlike most people her age, Holly’s experience with hypersexuality had left her keenly aware of when her heart wanted something, and when her body wanted something. And the meathead jocks and bad boys may have gotten her motor running, but not one person had ever made her feel “this is it, this is love”.

Holly was a pure girl, who dreamed of a pure, satisfying romance. Her prince charming sweeping her off her feet, whispering sweet love sonnets in her ear. And then pushing her down and going wild on her, satisfying all of her dark urges however he could.

Yeah. That wasn’t happening here. Which was fine. She didn’t expect to find her prince this early in life anyway. All she had to think about now was keeping her head down and focusing on her studies, and maintaining her regular schedule of masturbation to satisfy herself.

But her urges just kept getting more severe. Her libido had been climbing ever since puberty, and soon those half-hour masturbation sessions weren’t cutting it. By winter break, things had reached the point where she had to pleasure herself multiple times a day just to keep her head on straight.

Which led to the second biggest mistake of her life: masturbating at school.

It was unthinkable, and she knew it was wrong. But she couldn’t help herself. She just needed it so badly. And if that wasn’t enough, she was becoming hard to satisfy. While she could come in a matter of seconds from being properly stimulated, it wouldn’t work if she wasn’t aroused- and she couldn’t get aroused anymore without those graphic doujins.

So she was careful. She ordered some books from online, some of her favorites, so she could have them in physical form. Then she made sure to bring a change of clothes to school. She would take care of her urges at lunch, change, and go about the rest of her day like nothing ever happened.

Then one day, at the end of fourth period right before lunch, Tommy asked the question he’d been trying to ask for practically the entire school year.

“Holly, um… we’ve gotten to know each other really well these past few months…”

Really? We have? Then what’s my last name?

“And, um… I really like you, so… could you please go out with me and be my girlfriend?!” He cried.

Holly held back her sigh and gave him a kind smile. “Tommy… you’re a really great guy. But I’m just not ready to go out with anyone right now. I’m sorry. But we can still be friends?”

She doubted he’d be interested in that, but she still hoped. After all, Tommy was a nerd like her. They both read similar manga, even if he was too shy to talk about them with her. Maybe if he could get past his crush, then they could really-

“Are you serious?! Even YOU’RE rejecting me?! After everything I did to help you these last few months?! Are you kidding me right now!?”

And suddenly, nice Tommy wasn’t so nice anymore. His eyes flashed with frustration and anger, and Holly very quickly realized she wanted to be somewhere else.

“I’m sorry, but I have to go!” She turned to walk away.

“H-Hey, wait, I didn’t mean that!” Tommy cried, grabbing her bag to stop her. But even his lanky arms were stronger than hers, and he pulled it off her back, spilling contents over the library floor.

Holly’s heart stopped and she frantically collected her books, forcing them back into her bag before anyone saw. But she wasn’t fast enough.

“’Hentai Orc Reborn in the Elf Village – How One Orc Remade the Kingdom with his Cock’,” Tommy read, his voice hollow with disbelief. He looked incredulously at Holly. “You… you READ disgusting shit like this? You're a freak!”

“G-Give it back!” Holly snatched the doujin away, cramming it in with the others. “It’s not what you think, it’s just-”

“Ugh, no wonder you turned me down, you freak. Ugh! You’re disgusting, bringing something like that to school!”

Tommy stared at her like she was trash. Holly couldn’t take it. She clutched her bag to her chest and fled the library, running to the nurse’s office and telling her she didn’t feel well. Her mom came to pick her up before lunch break ended, and she got an early start on her weekend. Most of it she spent crying and masturbating.

When she came back to school on Monday, her heart was pounding with anxiety. She couldn’t avoid fourth period with Tommy; she didn’t know how he’d treat her, but she was terrified.

…Was it just her, or were a lot more people looking at her today than normal.

“-That’s her?”

“-Yeah, she-”

“In school?!”

“Yeah, I heard from-”

“What sort of freak would-”

“Freak.”

“Loser.”

“Slut.”

The whispers followed her as Holly picked up the pace, trying to get to class. The way they were looking at her, the disgust in their eyes… no, it couldn’t be, Tommy couldn’t have-

“Hey, you’re Holly, right?”

Maggie, one of the mean girls, stopped her before she could get to her locker. The big boobed blonde stared down at the diminutive brunette with a smirk.

“Um, yeah… that’s my locker, so-”

“What are you going to put in it?” She sneered. “Some of that creepy anime porn shit?”

Holly went pale. She knew. No… no, no, no…

“Let’s see what she’s got,” one of Maggie’s cheerleader minions cackled, pulling open Holly’s backpack.

“No! Get out of there!” Holly swatted at her, cursing herself for not having any self-control. She KNEW what had happened on Friday. Tommy had found her out. And she’d still brought those books back to school anyway, because she’d reached the point where she couldn’t NOT play with herself. She’d come too far.

While the girls mocked and jeered her and looked at her like she was trash, talking about how much of a freak she was for reading books like that, Holly wanted to curl up and die.

For the first time, she hated her body and what it made her do. She was a freak. A loser who couldn’t control herself.

No wonder everyone was disgusted with her.

Needless to say, it didn’t take long for the teachers to learn that one of the students was bringing pornography to school. And while the faculty was shocked that it was a girl who’d done so, that didn’t change Holly’s weeklong suspension.

Not that it mattered. Holly was never showing her face there again. She convinced her parents to switch her to independent study so she could finish off the year at home, and when she graduated she moved as far away from her town as possible, all the way across the country to a college on the west coast, where she could be confident no one would recognize her.

7 Years Ago

Sophomore year. Holly had only been at college for a year so far, but it was the best year she’d ever had. Because she could craft her own schedule, she was able to space her classes apart so she could get back to her room, masturbate, and take a shower before she had to go anywhere, so she could always keep a clean head. She still felt a little disgusted about her urges, but unfortunately even what happened in high school wasn’t enough to “scare” her body straight.

Her understanding parents had even splurged for a private room, so she didn’t have to worry about bothering a roommate with her frequent masturbation.

She’d really blossomed, moving past her shyness in school to become outgoing and social. It was necessary. She couldn’t let anyone suspect that she was a “freak”. So she maintained the appearance of a sweet girl, even if she was very shy inside, and tried to fake it until she made it. She had friends now, people who enjoyed the same things as she did.

But she always kept the other part of her a secret. She never let her inner freak out around other, no matter how many times she played with herself. She only told her friends about the pure shoujo manga she read, not about the darker things she danced with in the privacy of her dorm.

And then everything changed one day in Poetry 201.

Holly had been in a hurry that day, having spent a little more time than usual pleasuring herself to a particularly lurid doujin involving goblins and a pair of adventurers. One of the girls had been petite with a ponytail like her, so it was easy to picture herself.

Because of that, she didn’t sit in her usual seat at the front of the class, and had to get a seat in the back, next to a boy with curly brown hair. Holly had seen him a few times around campus, but they never really talked. His name was… Nick? He always seemed so shy and soft-spoken, a lot like how she’d used to be. But now that she was sitting next to him, she could see that there was a depth to his eyes that drew her in, calling to her, almost like…

“Can I help you?” Nick asked, glancing awkwardly at her. Holly then realized she’d been staring and turned red.

“S-Sorry, um… I was in such a hurry today I forgot my pen, is it okay if I borrow one of yours?”

“Huh? Uh, sure, yeah…” He said, digging out a spare pen from his backpack. “Sorry it’s a little chewed on, I was going to throw it away… oh, but it still works, so-”

“It’s fine, thank you!” Holly smiled. She didn’t care that his pen was riddled with teeth marks, like the one he was chewing on right now as he thought about what to write for his poem. What mattered was that it worked.

Holly loved poetry. She could easily channel her sexual frustrations into her writing without cluing anyone in what she was actually writing about. It served as an out for her urges besides masturbation, and was one of the reasons she majored in writing.

But the poems she composed were nothing compared to what Nick wrote. When the professor had them present their work to the class, he had been one of the last to go. And what he wrote captivated her.

“When I gaze upon your still form

I ask the river to tell me “why”?

But you are no longer beneath this sky,

And now my fears begin to swarm.

I dream of you rising from the storm,

How many times have I told this lie?

Wishful faerie tales that make me cry,

About your love that keeps me warm.

But I’ll escape now from those dreams

To a world without your love

And thus my heart will pay the cost.

I know my path is harsher than it seems

So please watch over me from above

And I’ll find that happiness I lost.”

Holly didn’t know if it was good or not. Thoughts like those failed to even cross her mind. It was so much more than good, it called out to her, resounding in her pounding heart like a drum as she stared into Nick’s eyes, so full of passion and weight with every word he spoke. She ignored the applause he received, focusing solely on him. And when it was her turn to go up and present her poem, the words were empty on her lips; Nick had filled her completely.

That night, for the first time in forever, Holly didn’t use a doujin to help with her masturbation. She tried at first, but it just wasn’t doing it for her. As she played with herself, desperately stoking the fire of her loins with her fingers, Nick’s face kept popping into her mind. Finally, in her fugue, she fumbled around in her bag for the pen he’d left with her. Nick’s pen. Just staring at it sent a spike of arousal through her as she imagined it was his hands touching her.

She brought the pen to her trembling lips and bit down, trying to fit her teeth into the gaps he'd gnawed. In her mind it was almost as good as kissing. She felt like she was tasting his essence in the plastic as she moaned, sucking on the pen with everything she had as her tongue coiled around it, flooding her bed with fluid as she drove herself to orgasm after orgasm.

Finally, hours later when her fingers were too numb to keep going and her body was sore from coming so hard, she collapsed into her ruined sheets and stared up at the ceiling, the pen finally slipping through her fingers.

For the first time, she’d used someone she knew as fuel for her fantasies. She’d never felt a more satisfying afterglow than this.

Holly had finally found her prince.

5 Years Ago

Winter again. Winter brought back painful memories for Holly. And it was even a Friday, like the last time her world had collapsed. But this year, things were different.

“I’m so proud of you!” Nick gushed. “You actually got an 85! You’re amazing, Holly!”

“It-It’s nothing,” Holly fretted, her heart skipping a beat as Nick heaped praise on her. Over the last two years, they’d gotten closer. About as close as two friends could be without actually dating. And a big part of that was Holly’s sneakiness. She’d been doing badly in her Physics class. And wouldn’t you know it? Nick happened to be in the very same class, and an excellent student at that!

It was like serendipity. They were already friends, having been in the same writing club at school for years now. They hung out all the time, eating lunch together, going on walks down to the marina, just generally being close with one another. But this was next-level stuff. She was actually studying with him, alone, in the library! Late at night! The only way it would have been better would be if she studied in his room. They’d get a good mood going, she’d give him some signal that she was ready, and then he wouldn’t even need to say a word, he’d just push her down and…

…

She shook her head, clearing her thoughts. That fantasy was definitely hot, but it could wait until she got back to her room. She needed to stop having those thoughts around him! Nick wouldn’t want to go out with a freak like her, someone who stockpiled a bunch of his stuff in a lockbox so she could play with it. But that was also fine. Even if they didn’t have a future together, she was happy just being his friend and loving him in secret. It satisfied her libido like nothing else.

“Are you okay?” Nick asked. “You’re shaking.”

Holly winced. “N-No, it’s fine, really,” she smiled. “I guess I’m just excited. I’ve never gotten such a high grade for math before.”

“Well, technically it’s science.”

She put on a fake pout and socked him in the arm. “Yeah! But the stuff I was having problems with was the math!”

Nick laughed, shaking his head. “Whatever. I’m just glad you did so well. You’re all set for the final, I’m sure.”

“…Yeah… only because I had such a good tutor,” she said, trying her best not to blush. But she failed miserably.

Then it was her turn to pick up on something. Nick seemed uncomfortable.

“Nick? Are you…”

“Sorry,” he cut her off, shaking his head. His face was turning red and he was having trouble looking her in the eye. “Look, I know… I know finals are coming soon and this isn’t really the right time to be thinking about this, but whenever I’m with you, I can’t help myself.”

What was he saying? What was happening right now? Holly’s heart stopped and she waited in anticipation for what him to finish his sentence.

“I really like you, Holly. And I feel like we’ve gotten along so well, I just… would you like to go out? Like, on a real date, not just as friends. I have feelings for you, serious ones.”

The world froze in time. A man and a woman, a boy and a girl, stood facing one another in the quad as snow slowly trickled down upon them.

Holly had no idea what to say. It was only the fact that she was in shock from Nick actually having asked her out that kept her from immediately and loudly shouting “YES!” at the top of her lungs.

Clearly, the silence must have been getting to him, because he was starting to get flustered and anxious. “Look, I don’t want to give you the wrong impression, or make you uncomfortable. I just thought I had to tell you, so, um… if you don’t want to answer, that’s fine too…”

It took a bit, but Holly’s brain finally caught up. She returned to earth from the ecstasy of her prince charming actually asking her out. But as she crashed back to the ground, memories of the past came with her descent.

“You… you READ disgusting shit like this? You freak!”

Tommy had asked her out. He’d liked her. And then, when he learned what a freak she was, how she couldn't control her body or her sick urges, that desire had turned into disgust. Even now, those eyes still plagued her thoughts, and not just Tommy’s. The eyes of everyone at her old school, looking at her like she was walking garbage.

If she and Nick dated… he’d find out that side of her. She wouldn’t be able to keep it under control if they were a couple. And then he’d look at her and see just how much of a freak she was, hoarding his pencils and erasers and pens, even his boxer shorts! His eyes would turn sickened just as theirs had.

She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t risk Nick’s deep, soulful eyes that treasured her with such a kind gaze look upon her like she was a freak.

“I’m sorry…” She managed to croak out, forcing back her real feelings behind an apologetic smile. “I just… I really like you, Nick, but I can’t date you. I’m sorry.”

Nick looked crushed. She couldn’t see him like that. She didn’t want to see how much pain he was in. So she turned and fled, trying to put him out of her thoughts for good.

This is for the best… this is for the best! She urged herself to believe, so she wouldn’t have to confront the pain echoing in her heart.

It would all work out. They’d be friends again by Monday, and everything would be fine. They could just go back to how they were.

In spite of her broken heart, Holly still felt her body telling her to masturbate. She tried desperately to satisfy her urges, diving back into her collection of hentai that had gone unused over the past few years of pleasuring herself to Nick, trying to find something, anything that would get her going so she wouldn’t have to cum while thinking about her ruined love.

But nothing worked. She kept driving herself closer and closer to the edge, but never going over. No matter what she read, from the filthiest gang rapes to the most chaste, vanilla loving sex scenes, she couldn’t make herself feel the level of arousal she needed to actually achieve orgasm.

Letting out a frustrated wail of resignation, Holly pressed Nick’s boxers to her nose and sniffed, inhaling his scent. It took her over the edge immediately and she cried into the fabric.

She’d let him into her heart. And now she couldn’t be satisfied without him.