I can't beat it at all!

Hm... Well, the best way to do this is to pick the character that looks like the main character, right? In this game, I have to figure that's Ushiroryu Battler. That's not much of a name flip, Lambda... I hope your game stands up to copyright law. Clapcom goes after people like you...

Having picked my character, I began into the fight. All fighters really take after that famous Clapcom game, right? I've played it many times before... any kid growing up in my era would have. I've played it a little more than most, since I became a shut-in! Don't look down on my skills, Super Lamdacon version...

The fight began. On one side was Battler wearing a stupid martial arts gi... On the other was Beatrice, wearing a chinese dress that showed off her legs. Mmm... This isn't such a bad game after all, Lambda. Though, calling her Chun Beatrice is just ridiculous.

The fight began. The two fighters exchanged blows. Ha! He has a hadoken. Use your Oppai Finger, Battler! That's it! Block her super move. You've got this! Doesn't it feel good to beat the witch for once?!

You're going to do it! Hit your super move!

Wait... Wait! This isn't a pair fighter. Why is Ronove coming out to attack Battler?!

Hold on. Hold on hold on hold on! What is that special attack that hits the whole screen? It's unblockable?!

Chun Beatrice is a flying character too?!

Ah... aaaaaaah!!

I restarted the game and picked a different character. I'll play Beatrice this time.

What?! She can't fly in my version! Ah... Wait! Shit! Playgat, you're... You can't do that in the middle of the match! Stop humping Beatrice!

Ah... Actually, I'm getting a little turned on. Playgat, keep that up. Yes... this kind of erotic fighter suits my speed. Oh... That's not bad at all. I spent a bit of time having all of the female characters fight Playgat, to see how his Tiger Knee would devastate their clothes and to watch him take them in a variety of exotic locales and locations. Ah! Lamda, this game is great. I'd like a copy of this one to take with me.

"Stupid Player! If you're not going to actually play the game, then we aren't doing what you said at all, are we?! You're not here to watch Playgat hump Cammdadelta!!" she protested, smacking me in the head with a cute punch from her little fist.

Oh... Hey, come to think of it. You built this game yourself, right? You built a game where Player can hump Lambdadelta?

I shouldn't have said that. Playgat may hard to beat, but I don't have the perfect block he does. Cammdadelta destroyed me with a cannon spike, drilling through me with her legs.