I am the very Model of A Fucked Up Individual (Prelude)

(To the Tune of "Modern Major General" By Gilbert and Sullivan.)

I am the very model of a Fucked up individual,

I've digested all the blogs, and read the tabloid residual,

I know that England's screwed up, and the Brexit issues's historical

From Washington to London, to say other is heretical; (Breath...)

I frankly do not give a crap about matters mathematical,

Never mind equations, both the simple and quadratical,

As far as I'm concerned you can rant about your interest rate...

Interest Rate... Interest rates... Oh yes!

And whatever else you choose to use to help you masturbate...

Chorus:

And whatever else you choose to use to help you masturbate...

And whatever else you choose to use to help you masturbate...

And whatever else you choose to use to help you masturbate...

I've been around long enough to know that certain folk;

have neither the inclination nor the sense to learn to take a joke:

In short, in matters sexual, Identity or political,

I am the very model of a Fucked up individual.

Chorus:

For Whether it is sexual, identity or political,

He is the very model of a Fucked up Individual.

I know our mythic history, is supposed to be a pack of lies;

From I understand there is a celebration when each of us dies,

I would quote at length from the works of Kerouac,

Except that understand he suffers from the sin of not being black.

In fact the the entire nation seems to suffer from the same disease,

The vast majority have never even heard of Aristophanes!

But they can't hum, instead they seek an Mp3..

Ack... Mp3... Mp3... AH-Hah!

and will not resist a war until they're an enlistee!

Chorus:

and will not resist a war until they're an enlistee!

and will not resist a war until they're an enlistee!

and will not resist a war until they're an enlistee!

Well I'll just sit and write a lot of silly rot,

leave to the spooks to determine what is real or not,

In short, in matters sexual, Identity or political,

I am the very model of a Fucked up individual.

Chorus:

For Whether it is sexual, identity or political,

He is the very model of a Fucked up Individual.

In fact, when I know what is meant by "racism" and "hatred filled",

When I can tell at sight a straw man burning from a color pill,

With such affairs as debate and gang attacks I know the tricks,

And when I know precisely what is meant by "don't be a dick",

When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern censorship,

When I know more of propaganda than a reporter on an army trip–

In short, when I've a smattering of elemental prophecy –

Nobody will listen so I'll just write a song or three...

Chorus:

Nobody will listen so he'll just write a song or three...

Nobody will listen so he'll just write a song or three...

Nobody will listen so he'll just write a song or three...

For my military knowledge, though outdated and impractical,

as far as power and influence goes, you know that I do Lack it all,

But still, in matters sexual, Identity or political,

I am the very model of a Fucked up individual.