I Turn To Jake

Maybe I found it all inspiring. Certainly I couldn't help myself.

As I watched Rachel push on with Blake a passion rose in me. A heat rumbling in my belly that could no more be denied than ignored and it twisted itself up into a hot little knot in me, making my whole body go tense from it.

I felt his hands on me, Jakes. They were almost idle but they were more twitching than that. Anticipating things as we watched my beautiful companion press down and back and forth on the cock of a man that I hated and wanted in equal measure. As we watched the light from the screen in the distance give us just enough of a picture that our minds could fill in the blanks for ourselves.

I felt insecure.

Now this was no new feeling for me. As a man insecurity had been a driving **** for me, though it never did quite spur me on to self improvement.

I think the sentiment on this was turning around by the point in history that I'd reached, before I was sent back to this moment, but a man being insecure because of the appearance of other men was never really something that was discussed at this time. So I grew up, in a big way, ignoring those feelings and feeling like they weren't real. But no amount of ignoring could really make me forget them, could make them not effect me.

Surrounded, it felt like at times, by men who were more handsome than me or stronger than me. And sure they were smarter than me or more driven as well, but really that wasn't what made me feel so insecure.

Call me shallow if you will, but the fact that I wasn't as attractive as other men always did weigh on me, did make me feel like I would never be enough.

And I guess I thought as a woman that I had maybe left that behind. After all I'd spent this last time just surrounded by people who were falling all over themselves to tell me how beautiful I was, and a part of me even saw it for myself.

Yet when I looked at Rachel all I could do was compare myself and all I could do was find myself lacking a little. So maybe it was just an ingrained behavior that was too hard to forget.

It was odd, to have that compulsion to want to compare myself. To want to be more like her, to want to be seen like her. To want to look like her.

Maybe the oddest part of all was that it didn't feel unnatural at all. Like an extension of myself, like a part of me that had always been there and maybe perhaps always would be.

Because Rachel was beautiful, blonde and willowy and svelte and feminine. With full hips and fuller breasts and an ass that I would kill now to have, not just to have in my hands.

I didn't want her anymore. Well that's not entirely true I still did want her but I think more than that I wanted to be her. I wanted to be gifted with the genetics that she had, to be so heart stoppingly gorgeous that I could take someone's breath away with just a glance.

I wanted it. Not Emily. But me.

Because... Because I did. Because defying all logic or explanation I was starting to have a hard time thinking of myself as anything other than this woman, especially when my blood got hot and my desire, my need, spurred me on without end or any kind of will to deny myself.

Anything but the insecurity that made me tremble in the arms of a man who wanted me, worrying that maybe he wanted her more.

So when I turn to Jake it is with vulnerability in my arms and worry in my eyes but even in the dark I see that I need not have any of that fear.

"You are so gorgeous," he tells me as he draws me into him and I feel the bulge of him pressing up against me and I sigh, my eyes fluttering closed as my lips part in anticipation of a kiss.

For a limited time you can join my Patreon for only $2 and get access to over a month's worth of new pages of My Second Chance as well as SEVEN FULL STORIES with a new one every month! Join here: https://www.patreon.com/SophiePert