I Have the High Ground!

Flora, Merida, Aubrey, and Hilde had ridden north. As they traveled on the road, they met a few other travelers, all played by ASTRIDs. The ASTRIDs would always ask for news about the direction they were heading and would happily give equivalent information in return. Flora figured it was a good opportunity to spin a tale to throw the other party off their scent.

Flora would tell the travelers about how Smug’s chosen had appeared in Asherland and had razed it, about how fires were breaking out all over town. Sometimes she would say that the chosen escaped to the west, and other times to the north. She occasionally mentioned that two of Smug’s chosen were blocking the east gate and held it for several minutes until it was blocked off, with the wall collapsing around the gate. Leaving each group of travelers, she always cautioned them, “Be careful, you never know where Smug’s chosen might have ended up.” Flora was surprised to learn that the different travelers didn’t just repeat the same information verbatim. Most of it seemed useless, but none of them repeated.

After the ninth set of travelers on the road, though, Hilde had had enough. “Flora, can we get off the road. Speaking with all these travelers is wasting a lot of time.”

“Sure. We were going to need to leave the road soon anyway, as it starts to curve east and we want to head north.”

“Thank goodness,” Hilde said with a sigh.

Merida asked, “So, whit is the task we are daein' richt noo?”

Flora passed the task sheet around so everyone could read it.

Task: Recruit The Orc Tribes of The North

• Risk: Medium
• Reward: 1200 XP and 6-18 CP
• The orcs are a species disfavored by Cassandra. Convince them to join us either by words or ****. CP is based upon the portion of the tribes that join the cause and their strength.

Merida asked, “Why are we daein' this task? I mean, if we can complete it, winnae that juist mean that the ither team could easily wipe thaim oot tae?”

“Gaining some allies is only a bonus as far as I’m concerned. The real reason is this.” Flora passed around two more task sheets.

Task: Acquire the Idol of the Gluttonous Pig

• Risk: Medium to High
• Reward: 1200 to 1800 XP and 12-18 CP, four magic items.
• The Idol of the Gluttonous Pig is the second of seven idols I want you to collect. You have seen what the Idol of lust from the Eros dungeon is capable of. It is located in a dungeon within the territory of the Orc Tribes. This task will be much easier if you have acquired the allegiance of the Orc Tribes of The North already.

Task: Corrupt the Temple of Cassandra in Harper’s Haven

• Risk: Medium to Very High
• Reward: 2500 xp to be split amongst the participants, 25 CP, Sanctum upgrade. Additional Rewards are possible.
• Take the idol of the Gluttonous Pig to Harper’s Haven, which is far west of the Capital. Place it on the local altar in the church of Cassandra to desecrate the church. Do not let anyone prevent the desecration’s completion. Do not let the town be evacuated.

When Merida finished reading it over, “Och, so it’s a chain quest.”

Flora nodded. “Yes, moreover, over the detail about the idol being the second of seven. I’m pretty sure there is one idol for each of the seven deadly sins. Eros, for lust. This one is obvious as gluttony; there aren’t any other tasks for more idols at the moment, so I assume they have to be done in order.”

Aubrey bleated to get everyone’s attention, then signed, ‘Think… this… will… cause… pig… girls… ?’

Flora snorted, “Probably. I sort of wish we had time to see what happened with the mad cow-girls.”

Merida said, “Haud on a second. Meribelle contacted me.” Merida had a back-and-forth with Meribelle.

Flora asked, “What’s up with the collar on Ellen?”

Merida held up one finger. “Guid, they got the collar aff. It seems like when we look at the collar, we forget aboot it, an' it maks it so ye deprioritise the wearer’s wants while makin' thaim mair acceptin' an' impulsive.”

“That explains why Mary kept forgetting about removing it. So Meribelle will be joining us shortly, right?”

“I think so, she hasnae come this way yet. Mary asked her tae wait for some reason.”

“Are we good to keep moving then?” Merida nodded, and the four of them left the road riding north. They continued north for another half an hour, when they were fired upon by archers. The arrows landed short, a good ten feet in front of them. They stopped and dismounted, taking defensive positions.

A big, burly, ugly, male pig orc came out of the trees. He snarled at the group and wielded a large club. “A kitty, lamb, kit, and filly. All so pretty. Why come north? Come to find studs?” The orc flexed as if to show off to the ladies. All of them tried to hide their disgust.

Flora stepped forward. “Not even going to introduce yourself? That’s fine, I’m going to call you Club. Club, can we speak to someone who is actually important?”

Club snarled. “Me not CLUB! ME FAT LOG! I’m leader for patrol.”

Flora held her hands out, trying to placate the orc. “Sure, sure. You’ve done an excellent job, patrolled, and found us. Now take us to your leaders.”

“That’s right! Fat Log is x-cell-ant. Boys surround the prisoners as we take them to our leaders.” A dozen more orcs came out and approached and encircled the girls. “Now march!” Club pointed his club to the north east. Everyone started moving.

Hilde nudged Flora, “You sure about this?”

Flora shrugged, “I mean, if diplomacy works, no reason to use **** to subjugate them.”

After following the orcs for about fifteen minutes, they come to a small camp. Upon reaching the edge of the camp, Flora noticed two burly, tall, attractive female orcs, though these were green-skinned with tusks. The one on the left said, “SWINE! What do you think you are doing!? You brought outsiders to our camp. I ought to pummel sense into you. They aren’t even bound.”

Flora and Aubrey stepped forward. Flora said, “Look, Club here was just taking us to someone actually important. We need to talk to your leaders.”

The one on the right towered over Flora and leaned over slightly. “Aww, the pretty kitty talks.”

The one on the left said, “Funny too. Ha Club! That is a good name. He sure looks like he’s been clubbed.”

“I think I might just keep you as a pet.” The one on the right reached out to grab Flora. Before Flora could even lurch backward, the orc found her wrist bound in Aubrey’s hair. Then Aubrey flung the one on the right into the one on the left.

“Baa’a baaaa baa!” Aubrey bleated in anger as she drew her greatsword, but didn’t attack further.”

The orc patrol looked terrified but readied their weapons.

The orc women stood up laughing. “HAHAHAHAHA! Excellent! Strong! You want to see leaders? Why?”

Aubrey jerked her head to tell Flora to go ahead. Flora said, “We want to form an alliance.”

“Who do you represent?”

Flora narrowed her eyes and lowered her voice menacingly, “Smug.” The orc patrol immediately scattered as the women’s eyes went wide.

“Put away your weapons, and I’ll take you to our chieftain. You best not be lying.” Aubrey reluctantly put away her weapon.

The guards led them to a large tent. Inside sat three women around a fire. Flora recognized them all. Maja, clearly a shaman, was on the left, Petra was covered in black leather armour, with daggers at her side, and sat opposite Maja. Between them sat Slevia, who looked rather intimidating as an orc chieftain. Slevia grabbed the axe above her and slammed it into the ground, saying, “Why do I see outsiders in my tent?”

“Forgive us, Chieftain! They claim to be agents of Smug. The pink one is strong and fast. We believed it best to let you handle the matter in case they weren’t lying.”

“Agents of Smug? Doubtful.” Slevia looked at them appraisingly. Then she looked at Maja. “Thoughts?”

“If they are truly agents of the dragon empress, we should hear them out.”

Flora said, “That’s gre—”

“SILENCE!” Slevia roared. “She said IF!” Slevia stood, grabbing her ax. “Step outside.” The guards moved out of the way, and the part backed out of the tent. Slevia exited, followed by Maja and Petra. “Prove yourself, fail, and I might just let the swine have a go with you.”

Flora asked, “And how exactly are we expected to prove ourselves?”

“A fight!” This got a rousing cheer from the other orcs in the camp. “I’ll give you four options: fight my shaman here in a duel of magic, fight my lieutenant here with blades alone, or you can fight me either unarmed or with whatever weapons you wish to bring. I listed them in order of difficulty for you. All of them are solo fights, of course.” Slevia gave a big, toothy grin.

Flora turned to the other to ask what they thought. “Any preferences?”

“Ba baaa ba baaaa!” Aubrey gesticulated clearly, wanting to beat Slevia herself.

Merida reached into her pack and pulled out a headband. “If you really want to do this, Aubrey, you should put this on. Mary got the rewards from the last task and used Meribelle to send them to us. This is for you.” Aubrey reached out and took the headband, and put it on her head.

“BA! Ba baaa baaa!” Aubrey was clearly ecstatic, feeling her newfound strength.

Flora wasn’t sure, “Aubrey, I’m not sure that it is a good idea to fight Slevia like that. I think it is a trap.”

“B’aa baa baaa!” Aubrey bleated with a thumbs up.

“Okay, hopefully we don’t need to intervene.”

Aubrey thrust her sword out towards Slevia in one hand, “Ba baaaaaaaa baa!” Slevia gave a toothy grin in response, and everyone else backed up in a large circle around them to watch the fight. Aubrey then pulled out of her Howard’s Spacious Rucksacks, a large wooden shield and three swords she had looted from guards. She wielded her massive greatsword in one hand and the three swords in her hair, positioning them like stingers of a scorpion’s tail. Then she raised her shield. “BAAA BA BA BA BAAA!” Aubrey bleated in a taunt.

“OH, I like this one already!” Slevia grinned, “I see why the guards brought you to me.” Slevia lifted her ax and stepped into the circle that had formed. Her skin slowly shifted from green to red, and she seemed to grow a foot in height. She seemed to radiate heat all around her to the point that it was creating a haze in the air. “Try not to be incapacitated too quickly!” Slevia leapt into the air ten feet and brought her ax down on Aubrey a moment later. Aubrey raised her shield, but found it little help as Selvia's axe ripped it apart and knocked her to the ground.

Holy crap, what the hell is that strength! Aubrey did manage to deflect the blow partially with her blades, allowing her enough time to roll to the side and get to her feet. Slevia didn’t let up, though. In a backhand swing, Slevia swung her ax towards Aubrey’s torso. Aubrey tried blocking with the flat of her blade and found herself flying ten feet. She skidded to a stop at the edge of the circle. Slevia gave her a second to stand. Aubrey stood and started humming. She raised her sword and charged as her hair began to glow brightly.

Slevia seemed to have a manic grin on her face. As Aubrey’s sword swung down towards Slevia, with one hand, Slevia swung the axe into the side of Aubrey’s greatsword, and Slevia reached out and grabbed Aubrey’s hair, letting her get some stabs in. Slevia gripped Aubrey’s hair tightly and flung her about against the ground like a rag doll.

Merida looked on in concern. ““She’s in trouble! We need tae help her!”” Flora put out her arm to stop Merida.

“No.”

“Flora, she’s gaun tae lose!”

“Merida, look at her hair. It’s still glowing. Even as she gets thrown about like that, she’s still humming.”

“She’s takkin' ower much HP damage! I hae an ability that lets me see HP, an' it is dramatically oot-pacin' her healin'.”

“Hilde, do you think it would make a difference?”

“Probably not. I think you were right. It was a trap. Merida did Aubrey’s strikes do much to Slevia?”

“No… she’s ta'en like five percent.”

Aubrey had freed herself by cutting off her hair, but it instantly grew back; however, she did lose the swords it was holding. Aubrey started bleating out a familiar song as she fought, “~Baaaaa, baaaa, baa, baaa!~” Slevia charged her and knocked her sword to the side and landed a devastating kick to the chest, but Aubrey’s hair caught Slevia’s ankle, pulling her off her feet. Aubrey quickly stood. “~Baa baaa baaaa baaaa!~” Aubrey used her hair to fling Slevia over her head and slam her into the ground just like she had done to Aubrey a moment ago. “~Baaa baa baaaa baaaaaa,~” Slevia managed to cut Aubrey’s hair right as she slammed into the ground. “~baaaa baaa baaa baaa baa baa.~” Slevia rolled to the side, dodging Aubrey’s sword strike. “~Baaa baaa baa baaa baaa. Baaaaa baa Baaaa’ baaaaa.~” During that exchange, though, Aubrey had managed to swipe Slevia’s axe from her with her hair. “~Baaa baaa baa baaa baaa. Baaaa baaa baaa baaa baa baaa, baaa baaa baa baaa!~” Aubrey’s mana drained as she completed the song and had a wave of healing energy pass throughout her body.

Slevia stood and clapped her hands, laughing. “HA HA! Wonderful.” Slevia extended her hand out towards her axe, and Aubrey felt it move towards Slevia with overwhelming ****, and she couldn’t hold onto it as it flew to Slevia’s hand. “You know. I haven’t been able to go all out in a while!” Slevia crouched down, ready to leap towards Aubrey when Maja came up behind her and rapped her on the back of the head with her staff. “OW!” Maja simply glared in disapproval. Slevia rolled her eyes and grunted. She shrank back down, and her skin returned to her previous green color. “You pass.”

Aubrey glared at Slevia, then she signed with her hair, ‘I… could… have… taken… you.”

This caused Slevia to laugh heartily. “Maybe, you could have.”

Maja stepped forward. “Please forgive this brute of a woman. Shaman Maja greets the chosen of Smug. Shaman Maja would like to know what the chosen seek by coming to the tribes.”

Flora stepped forward, “Greetings, Maja. I’m Flora, leader of Smug’s Chosen. We come north for two reasons. We wish for the aid of the orc tribes against Cassandra’s forces, and we wish to claim the Idol of the Gluttonous Pig.”

“That is a holy relic to the orcs. The Tribes will not simply hand it over to you.” Maja replied.

“I understand that. My understanding is that it is locked away in some sort of trial dungeon. We simply wish to undergo the trial.”

Slevia stepped forward. “So, you want us to fuck up some of Cassandra’s chosen people and the heroes? I’m in. I will say getting more than this camp to join won’t be easy. My Lieutenant can show you where the dungeon is if you wish.”

“How can we get the other camps of orcs to join us?”

Slevia smiled wickedly, “Challenge their leaders to single combat like me.” Slevia tossed a medallion to Flora. “That will mark your group as my guests. As long as you don’t start trouble, you shouldn’t be accosted.”

Maja said, “You could also undergo the challenge of the Gluttonous Pig as intended. It is meant to be a solo trial. But we use the trail in various ways. A group can enter, but the rank in the tribe they receive is lower the more that participate. To become a chief, you must do it solo. There is a special challenge inside that is only available if you go alone. Complete that as well, and you will become a warchief. A chief of chiefs, if you will.”

“Thank you for the information.” Flora walked over to Slevia and extended a hand to shake. Slevia smirked and gripped Flora’s hand in a crushing grip. Enough to actually cause a point of damage.

“It will be a pleasure to crush Cassandra’s people. You wouldn’t happen to be responsible for the outbreak of mad cow-girl to the east, would you?”

“If we were?”

“I thought as much. Good job! I figured it was probably you since Eros’s idol was in the possession of Smug long ago. When do you want to try for the idol?”

“Can you tell us about the trials?”

“Nope.”

“Give us a few minutes. I want to discuss things with my companions.”

“Fine by me, talk with Petra when you want to go.” With that, Slevia and Maja returned to the tent. Petra sat down on a stump, glaring at them.

Flora turned back to the others. “So what are your thoughts?”

Hilde looked to Aubrey and Merida, “Aubrey, do you think, given enough time, you would have actually won against Slevia?” Aubrey thought about it for a moment and then wobbled her hand. “I don’t see how we are supposed to achieve the special objective here. I’m certainly not going in alone. Merida can’t either. Aubrey, I asked that because Slevia was called chieftain, not warchieftain. Meaning she didn’t complete the separate challenge for that despite her strength. Personally, I find it hard to believe that it was because it is a trick challenge of some sort. I think she isn’t a warchief because she isn’t strong enough to be one.”

Aubrey looked at Flora and signed, ‘You… are… the… boss… Could… ask… Mary…’

Flora asked, “Aubrey, would you be willing to try it solo?”

Hilde stomped her foot. “Flora, don’t be stupid. There is no reason to risk that.”

Aubrey tapped Hilde’s shoulder. ‘I… would… be…”

“Aubrey, that is just reckless.”

“Ba?” Aubrey shrugged.

“Fine, whatever, I’ll go fight the other camp leaders then, for when you ultimately get incapacitated and we have to go retrieve your body.”

Merida had left the three arguing and went to talk with Petra. “Hello, I hae a question if ye widnae mind answerin' it.”

“I won’t tell you about what is in the trial.”

“I’m no' lookin' for that info, but if I did the trial alane, failed, then tauld ane o' my companions whit I learned, an' then they did the trial alane, wid that be viewed as valid?”

Petra raised an eyebrow at that. She seemed unsure. She held up a finger for Merida to wait. “Yes, the other tribes wouldn’t care.”

“Thanks.” Merida nodded her head in gratitude and returned to the arguing trio. “Hey, I hae an idea, assumin' ye are willin' tae try the dungeon themorra.” Everyone turned to Merida, barely noticing that she had stepped away. “I can send Meribelle in by hersel'. Then themorra mornin', I can dae that again, then Merigold, then Mira. Then I'll tell ye whit they foond oot tae get a better idea o' the interior. In the meantime, Aubrey an' Hilde can fecht the various chieftains. Does that wirk for everyone?”

Hilde seemed to think it was still a waste of time but a better idea than just sending Aubrey in, and nodded. Flora and Aubrey both nodded as well. They walked over and asked Petra if she could show them the other orc camps. She rolled her eyes in annoyance but agreed. It turned out that Slevia had been the strongest chief by far and exaggerated the difficulty of getting the other camps to join them. Aubrey challenged the second one and defeated him in mere moments. Hilde took the next two and found it child’s play, literally running circles around the chiefs. Flora had a little difficulty with the two she faced, but with a well-timed use of her boon to disappear and land a sneaky blow during the fight was able to beat them.

When it came to the last chief, Merida said, “Mind if I tak this ane?”

The other three looked at Merida skeptically. Flora tried to be as diplomatic as she could be, “Merida, sweetie… It isn’t that I don’t think you are capable of contributing, but… you aren’t really a combat class.”

“Juist trust me, love. Please.”

Hilde and Aubrey shrugged. Hilde said, “If she doesn’t participate in at least one of the fights, she probably won’t get any quest rewards. Merida looks like she has a plan, plus you know what will happen if you tell her no, right? She’ll just want to do it more.”

Flora sighed, “Okay, but just be careful, please. Bow out if you need to.”

Merida entered the combat arena and was surprised to find it was Freya who was standing in front of her, with a halberd. Freya looked over Merida. “Why is a little kit like you here? Do you think so little of me! Send in the pink one. She looks like she would be fun to fight. Heck, even the filly or kitty would be more entertaining than you.” Freya spat on the ground in derision.

“Och? Then how aboot we up the wager tae mak things mair interestin'?” Merida said, sensing an opportunity.

Freya cocked an eyebrow and put the butt of her halberd on the ground as she leaned on it. “Oh? What did you have in mind?”

“The rules o' the duel are the same as afore ye leave the bounds o' the circle voluntarily, are incapacitated, or forfeit ye lose. Also, if ye receive ony aid frae an ootside source. The wager is: I bet that ye winnae be able tae land a single scratch on me afore I win this match. When I win, hmm... honestly, I dinnae even ken whit ye can gie me, considerin' when I beat ye, ye were already gaun tae bring yer camp tae oor side.”

Freya asked, “What were you planning on offering when you lost?”

“IF I lose, which I winnae, I’m raither amenable. The only condition I wad hae is that I hae tae be able tae leave here themorra efternuin wi' my companions when they finish the trial tae retrieve the idol.”

“I want a night alone with your woman,” Freya said, pointing at Flora. “In exchange, if you win, I’ll let you take any one thing I have for yourself.” Freya said while rolling her eyes.

Flora crinkled her brow, looking at Merida to see how she would respond.

Merida shook her head. “Sorry, I cannae offer ye Flora. She’s no' mine tae gie, an' even if she were, I’d say no. I dae hae a counteroffer, though.” “Meribelle, are ye sure ye are awe richt wi' me usin' ye as collateral?”

“Of course, Maîtresse. It is not like I would actually be stuck 'ere forever, non? I am okay wiz it.”

Merida had Meribelle emerge from her. Merida noticed Freya was intrigued by the sexy French maid. “This is Meribelle. Wid she suffice?”

“I want her for three days and nights.”

“Agreed.” Merida extended her hand to Freya, who eyed it wearily. “Whit? Gettin' cauld feet? Afraid that this wee kit has a trick up her sleeve?”

Freya glared at her and shook her hand. The two separated from one another, taking opposite sides of the arena. Meribelle had returned to being part of Merida. Another Maja shaman came and said, “3, 2, 1, Begin.”

Merida put her plan into action immediately, while Freya lazily said, “So what’s… the… big… plan?” Freya watched as Merida was already fifty feet into the air, well outside of Freya’s halberd’s reach. “HEY! GET BACK DOWN HERE YOU COWARD? YOU ALREADY FORFEITING?”

Merida laughed and shouted down to Freya, “NO' EVEN A WEE BIT. IT’S OWER, FREYA, I HAE THE HEICH GRUND!” Merida started to fire firebolts down at Freya, whose only recourse was to dodge them.

“YOU WON’T BE ABLE TO STAY UP THERE FOREVER! I’M GOING TO WRING YOUR NECK WHEN YOU GET DOWN HERE.”

“ACTUALLY I CAN!” Merida started to fire more and more bolts at Freya, using the chance to get in some target practice. The longer she fired at Freya, the more accurate she got as Flora, Hilde, and Aubrey watched her land blows. Merida cast a spell to project an image of her and her voice down in front of Freya. “Ach, that’s better noo, I dinnae hae tae yell. Freya, I’m gaun tae offer ye the chance tae surrender; itherwise, I’m gaun tae hae tae apologize in advance for whit I’m gaun tae dae tae ye.”

“I won’t surrender to the likes of a kit like you that won’t even face me in honorable combat.”

In a low whisper, Merida said, “Freya, the real Freya, I’m sorry.” Merida extended her hand out to Freya with her thumb poised on her middle finger. “Five, Fower, Three, Twa, Ane, an' SLEEP!” Merida snapped her fingers in front of Freya’s face. Freya seemed disoriented then Merida snapped her fingers again, “SLEEP!” Freya entered a hypnotic trance, as Merida felt a surge of mana drain from her. “Freya, ye will realise that there is absolutely nae way ye can defeat me an' surrender tae me. Awaken.” Merida snapped her fingers.

A moment later, Freya shook her head. Then, when she looked at Merida, she took a knee, “Oh, powerful kitsune, I apologize for my arrogance. I surrender myself to you.” Freya dropped her weapon to the ground.

Maja stepped forward and clucked her tongue. “Shaman Maja the second recognizes Chieftain Freya’s defeat.” Maja then cast a spell on Freya that broke her out of the hypnotic trance. Maja also glared at Merida.

Freya immediately stood. “Wha… What happened?”

“You lost,” Maja explained. Merida landed on the ground beside the two of them. “Not to pure strength, but guile and wit. Shaman Maja would have said that this fox was simply taking advantage of the rules of the duel, but no. When she hypnotized you, you truly lost this duel fairly.”

Freya stood up and grumbled, “Grrr… I’m a woman of my word. Follow me, I’ll show you my stuff.”

“Nae need.” Merida said, “I already ken whit I want frae ye.” Freya turned around in confusion. “I want yer service.”

“I will not be your ****.”

“Nor am I askin' ye tae be that.” Merida retorted. “I wid hae said I wanted ye or yer freedom if I were askin' that. I want yer service, for... let's say ten days.”

“No. I cannot be away from my people that long. I will let you take one thing from my belongings. Consider yourself lucky that Maja recognized your win, because I’m not sure I would have considered it a victory otherwise.” Merida frowned but followed Freya into the chieftain’s tent. Freya gestured around the tent. “Pretty much anything of worth that is mine is in here. Take your pick.” Freya sat down on a chair.

As Merida looked around the room and identified any items she found magic on, she asked. “Freya, the real Freya, no' the chief. Can I ask ye a few questions?”

“Depends on the questions.”

“Did ye really want tae spend the nicht wi' Flora?”

“Not particularly. She’s attractive, that much is true. I don’t know what would have happened exactly if you both had accepted that bet and you lost.”

“I want tae apologise an' also ask for yer advice. I’m sorry for forcibly hypnotisin' ye.”

“Don’t worry about it. You didn’t do anything nefarious with it.”

“I screwed up wi' yer sister.”

Freya raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean? I haven’t been able to follow your team’s actions nearly as well as the others.”

“Stuff... happened. I used my boon on Hilde. I... I wisnae in my richt mind because o' a cursed item an' an aphrodisiac. I used it a lot on her. She wants tae be wi' me, but Flora is **** tae share, an' Hilde isn't willin' tae accept tryin' unless Flora isn't ****.”

Freya had stood up and got up in Merida’s face. Freya growled, “You. Did. WHAT!?” Freya grabbed the front of Merida’s outfit, looking genuinely pissed off.

Merida didn’t fight back; her shoulders just slumped. “I... I’m sorry. The collar I wis wearin' got rid o' my inhibitions.”

“So? It didn’t make you want to do that to my sister. That desire came from somewhere.”

“I... Hilde wis tryin' tae stop me frae masturbatin'... I dinnae desire tae mak Hilde mine; I juist wanted her tae stop tryin' tae stop me. In my lust, I thocht that this wis the maist effective way. I’m sorry, Freya. I’ve already apologised tae Hilde. I’m tryin' tae fix things the best I can. That’s why I asked for help.”

Freya released Merida but was clearly still pissed at her. “Hilde isn’t going to accept being with you unless Flora is okay with it or your breakup with Flora. You can’t undo what you did to Hilde, so those are your only options. Unless you want to hurt Hilde further. Which let me make this clear, Hilde and I might not always get along, but you mess with my sisters, and I will figure out a way to get back at you.”

Hilde walked into the tent. “My ears were burning. Freya, calm down. It wasn’t Merida’s fault.”

“You can’t be objective about this.” Freya retorted.

“Yes, I can. Sister, if you touch Merida because of this, we will have a problem. Cassandra, Sally, Maja, Smug, Mary, Merigold, Ellen, Flora, and I are all partially responsible for this mess, too. How much any one of them is at fault is debatable, but they are all partially to blame. Merida is just the end of the chain, resulting in this. Leave her alone, or I’m going to take the opportunity here to punch you in the face.” After receiving a withering glare from Freya, Hilde left.

Freya looked a Merida, “So are you going to pick your item or not?”

Merida continued to scan the items. Eventually, she found a bracelet that would increase her mana regeneration further, which would stack with her new ring. “I’ll tak this.”

Freya nodded, “Good choice. Now get out.” Merida hurried out, not wanting to piss off Freya more.

Hilde caught Merida before she went back to Flora and Aubrey, who were talking with Petra. Hilde said, “Thanks… for trying to figure something out. I really appreciate it. Telling Freya might not have been the best move, though. Don’t discuss this with Petra. If you do, I’ll say fuck the team and keep you incapacitated for the rest of the round. Do you understand me?”

Merida nodded. “Aye.”

“Good, so what did you get from hustling my sister?”

Merida held up her wrist and showed off the bracelet. “It increases my mana regeneration further. I wisnae bluffing afore. I really could hae kept floatin' indefinitely but I only barely had positive mana regeneration while remainin' stationary mid-air. If I had tae dodge, it wad drain my mana.”

“Solid choice. Now, let’s go see about this plan to scout the dungeon.”

The four of them followed Petra to the dungeon. On the way, Mira asked Merida, “Okay, what is up with the grumpy bitch.”

Merida replied, “That’s Petra.”

“I know who the cunt is, I’m asking what crawled up her ass. I mean, she was a bitch on my season, too, but that I could understand, even if I never figured out why.”

“I dinnae actually ken whit’s wrang, but I feel like it has somethin' tae dae wi' her previous season.” Merida felt Mira rummaging around in her memories. “Ye could be mair gentle; nane o' the ithers seem tae hae this issue, lookin' at my memories.”

“I really fucking can’t ye wee cunt. Hmm… interesting, so she’s gone through this fucking shit too. That’s new info.”

“Ye dinnae ken that?”

“Naw. Didn’t even fucking know that Astrid was this bitch’s sis. Same with that, babe, Slevia. Mark didn’t buy A Princely Staff on my season. He didn’t fucking care about things being nice and comfortable for all of us. He would just rail us fucking good and hard.”

“Weel, ay. I think Petra dinnae tak Hilde bein' added tae the harem very weel. Especially because it wis a random addition, meanin' it could hae been her instead.”

“Hmm… The bitch has reason to be worried. Sounds like her shitshow was like mine. Suppose that’s why Hilde threatened you then. She’s worried about her god damn sister. Mad respect.” Merida wasn’t sure how, but could tell Mira was nodding with an expression of admiration for Petra.

“So ye can be nice.”

“Hey! I’m a fucking blast to be around. I just don’t take no fucking shit. I’m a fan-fucking-tastic friend too! If anyone fucks around with you, Meribelle or Merigold, I’ll tear them a new hole to get fucked in.”

Meribelle said, “Zank vous… I zink?”

“Look, Frenchie, I might be rude and fucking crude, but as far as I’m concerned, I owe Merida here a fucking lot. We are all attached to her, and if she says you fucking stay, then I’m not going to say shit against that, and I’m going to protect her peeps. Plus, you are fucking hot and I’d love to plow you from behind with a strapon. Let me know if you are fucking down for that.”

Merida could feel the confused stare Meribelle was giving Mira, and her very slow blinking even if they were both in her head.

Merida said, “Weel, I’m glad ye are gaun tae try an' get alang at least wi' the ither mes, but can ye a' tak this aff o' my communication channel? I’d like some quiet time tae think.”

Merida was left with blissful silence in her head, but could tell her three passengers were talking.

When they finally arrived at the dungeon entrance, Petra found a place to sit and looked bored. Merida summoned Meribelle, “Okay, so dae yer best. It’s a shame I cannae share my TFs wi' ye so ye could fly.”

“I will, Maîtresse. Do not worry, I am not incapable, even if zees is not my forte.” Meribelle walked through the dungeon doors, and they shut behind her. Merida felt the connection to Meribelle grow fuzzy. Two minutes later, Meribelle reappeared as a tail. “I’m sorry, Mistress, I was defeated in the very first room. There was a massive horned beast, and I tried, but… well, just take a look at my memories.”

Merida looked over the memories and could tell Mira and Merigold were both doing the same. “Ay, that... that didnae gang weel.” “Okay, so Meribelle dinnae really mak much progress, but we expected that. The first room seems tae be a fecht wi' a cross between a boar an' a coo.”

Hilde said, “So are we camping here or do we want to return to one of the orc camps for the night?”

“I vote orc camp,” Merida said. Aubrey nodded her agreement as well.

Flora shrugged, “Okay. Petra, can you lead us back to the camp?”

Petra rolled her eyes again and nodded. She wordlessly mounted her horse and led them back to camp to get a decent night’s rest.