I've got this burning, burning, yearning feelin' inside me

While Sylvia was enjoying her newfound humanity up in the Master’s Suite, pigging away on pancakes, Nick was hard at work actually doing something to help her. The discussion they’d had last night was enlightening, and after some help from Gina to get his mind focused, he went to go look for Dakota in the hotel. It would have been easier if she’d come down to the Banquet Hall for breakfast, but it had just been the girls- save Dani, for whatever reason.

He didn’t have the energy to waste thinking about her right now, though.

“Dang it,” he muttered, checking the pool. He’d already been to the video store and the movie theaters, and even the park from their childhood. No luck. It had been a while since Dakota had been at the pool though; she hadn’t gone since her transformation from the second challenge, which caused her to become aroused when her body got wet.

But he was running out of places to look.

“Where is she?” He wondered.

“Where is who?” Dakota asked, popping into existence in front of him with a curious expression on his face.

“Uwaaah!” Nick flinched when he saw her, not expecting her to just pop in like that. He stumbled backwards, only to realize that there was no “backwards” and only the pool was behind him. He windmilled his arms to try and regain his balance, but it was no use- he was going to hit the water big-time.

Only… he didn’t.

“H-huh?” Nick stammered, cracking his eyes open. He was staring up at the ceiling of the pool, and he couldn’t feel anything beneath or behind him. He flailed his arms and legs, only to realize that they were suspended in the air, swiping at nothing. His whole body was suspended in the air.

He tried to shift around, but with nothing to grab onto, he couldn’t move. He was just stuck like that, suspended over the pool.

Dakota watched him with an amused smile on her face, twirling her cane playfully.

“Don’t worry Nick, you know I’d never let you fall,” she cooed. “…Not in the physical sense, anyway…”

Nick didn’t appreciate the host’s sense of humor at the moment.

“Dakota!” He snapped. “Get me down from here!”

Dakota blinked. “…Are you sure?” She asked. “Because ‘down’ means you’ll go splash in the-”

“You know exactly what I mean!” Nick felt like he was going to have an aneurysm. “Dakota!”

“Fine, fine,” she sighed, rolling her eyes. “You’re no fun sometimes, you know that?”

With a flick of her cane, Nick was pulled through the air. She dropped him at the edge of the pool, where he quickly scrambled to his feet.

“Don’t… don’t do that anymore!” Nick exclaimed, his face flushing. “That was just so… it was like I had been removed from reality! I couldn’t touch or feel anything!”

Dakota smiled, still amused. “So… you would rather I just let you fall in the pool, then?” She asked curiously.

Nick frowned. “…Well, no, I just-”

“Exactly,” she giggled. “That’s exactly the kind of person I am. And you know that.” She slinked over to him like a cat on the prowl, her golden eyes flashing with excitement. “I’m the kind of woman who will help you, even if that means doing something you don’t like.”

Nick frowned. “We’re not talking about the pool anymore, are we?”

Dakota smiled brazenly and leaned backwards, arching her back against her cane as she held it parallel to the ground. This action caused her chest to shake, almost like she was trying to entice him.

And she was very enticing. But apparently, there were rules against masters and hosts fraternizing sexually, at least on this season of the show. So Nick politely abstained from ogling her, and put his focus on staring her down.

“If you were looking for me, you didn’t have to go wandering all over the hotel,” she said. “You could have just called my name three times and I’d be there, like Beetlejuice.”

Well, that got Nick to feel like an idiot. “…Right. Sorry.” He’d been so accustomed to Dakota wandering off and being left to her own devices as a contestant, it had slipped his mind that she had more supernaturally-accessible abilities as a host.

But that raised a different question…

“You know,” Nick said, crossing his arms in front of his chest, “if you knew I was looking for you, you could have just come to get me before now.”

“Ah, but then I wouldn’t have been able to see you almost fumble and fall into the pool,” Dakota pointed out, giggling.

Nick… actually found that pretty funny. But he caught himself smiling, and his expression turned serious.

He couldn’t just joke around with Dakota like old times. Things had changed… a lot of things.

“Dakota… we need to talk,” he said, frowning. “Seriously talk. We haven’t had a real talk since… you know.”

It didn’t need to be said. Only one major thing had happened in the last day or so.

Dakota sighed. She turned and gazed out at the pool. “…I’m curious, what made you choose to come look for me here?” She asked. “The movie theaters, the park, I understand those locations. But why the pool?”

“Dakota!” Nick frowned. “You’re avoiding the question!”

“Hmm, am I?” Dakota turned sharply on her heel, looking at him with those sparkling golden eyes. He could see the raw greed emanating from them, and it made him tense. “Nick… I think it’s time you and I discuss the finer points of quid pro quo. You answer my question, then I’ll answer yours. That sounds fair, right?”

She narrowed her eyes and he felt a twinge of unease roll up his spine.

“That’s what you want, right?” She purred. “To ask me some questions?”

He sighed. She could always see right through him, even when they were kids. And he’d always thought he could see through her, too… when they were young, Dakota was always so direct and forceful, and so blatant about her desires. He could always tell what she was thinking, because she wore her heart on her sleeve.

But now she was an enigma. He couldn’t even be certain that the woman standing in front of him was the same woman she’d been not even a day ago; how much had regaining her power corrupted her, warped her, changed her from the woman he had loved?

Dakota interrupted his thoughts with a loud sigh.

“…Fine then,” she sighed, strolling over to him and stroking his cheek. “Because you’re so nice… I’ll answer your question first. How much have I changed, since regaining my powers, is that what you want to know?”

Nick’s mouth fell open. How… how did she…?

“I can see through you completely, remember?” She giggled. “But to answer your question, how much I’ve changed… that’s not something you can quantify, Nick.”

Her expression shifted into a more pensive, thoughtful look. “I’m not the same child I was back then. But… I’m not the woman who did all those things, to those people. Back then, when I was the host, I was an amalgamation of negativity and spiteful rage. I took out my frustration on everyone in front of me, like a child breaking her toys because she’s throwing a temper tantrum.”

She looked up at him, and for a moment, he saw a flash of humanity in her gaze.

“But when I regained that new life… all those new memories… memories of you, Nick, of the time I spent with you… it’s like I became something more. Something better. I-I’m not… I’m not the same person I was. I’m like a patchwork of different people, different me’s. I suppose… that’s the best way to answer your question, Nick.”

It felt like she was answering his question with another question. But not one he was posed to answer; rather, it was a question of the universe and human nature, something he wasn’t sure either one of them were equipped to grasp.

Dakota turned away and crouched beside the pool, gazing out at the still water.

“Now, will you answer my question?” She asked quietly. “Why this place?”

It seemed like a rather miniscule and insignificant inquiry. Going from a question about her true nature to… a question about the pool?

But Nick didn’t want to go back on his word, even if it was a word he hadn’t explicitly given yet. Dakota had answered his unasked question- the least he could do was respond.

“Because I thought you might be here,” he said lamely. “After all, you spent so much time here, I just thought… no, sorry. That’s not the only reason.”

The more he thought about it, the more he realized that there was something else behind his decision to come here.

“This was where we had our date,” he said. “So when you weren’t at the park, I thought… maybe you’d come here. Because it was somewhere we went together.”

The smallest of smiles touched Dakota’s lips.

“That’s nice to hear, Nick,” she murmured. “Really, it is… but that’s not really the question you were asking, was it?”

She glanced up at him.

“Aren’t you wondering, why I would seek out a pool like this, in the first place? You’ve been wondering that since our first date together, haven’t you?”

Nick winced. “Well… yeah, a little bit,” he admitted. “I mean… you drowned, Dakota. So for you to like swimming, I don’t know… it just seems kind of twisted.”

“You like fish,” Dakota pointed out. “Even though I drowned.”

That… was a fair point.

“When I was a kid, I thought… or, well, I tried to believe, anyway, that instead of drowning… you turned into a fish and swam away, and were living happily in the ocean somewhere,” Nick said, feeling his face flush. “I know that sounds crazy, but… it helped me calm down, in the early days. When I still couldn’t fully accept you were gone. My step-mom, she used to take me to the aquarium just to get me out of the house and back into the world… and I guess it just stuck with me since then.”

“That’s sweet,” Dakota nodded thoughtfully, and for a second Nick thought her eyes were watering. But maybe it was the reflection from the pool. “But the truth is, I didn’t become a fish. I became something else entirely…”

Then, Nick realized something. “…You knew that, though, didn’t you?” He said suddenly. “The reason why I liked aquariums.” After all, she’d been watching him ever since her ****, haunting him as a restless spirit.

Dakota raised her eyebrow. “Is that another question?” She mused. “I haven’t even answered the last one, yet. You’re not following the rules…”

“You asked me two questions in a row just now, if I recall correctly,” Nick pointed out. “After I told you why the pool, you then asked me if I was ‘wondering’ about why you picked this place out, and I answered that one, too. Sounds to me like I get to ask you two questions. Just to be fair.”

That actually made Dakota smile. “…Fair enough,” she admitted. “And you’re right, I did know. But… to answer your previous question, and the one you really asked… the reason why I came here was because the water… it always gave me a sense of freedom. I had drowned in the river, but in truth… I had emerged as something greater. So swimming in the pool… it made me feel stronger than anything. Like I had conquered even **** itself. Is that a good enough reason for you?” She asked, glancing up at him with a pensive expression.

“Is that another question?” Nick asked.

“Is that?”

The two shared a look, and then laughed like the old friends they were. It was then that Nick remembered what Dakota had done, organizing this entire thing.

This was no time for laughing. He quickly sobered up, and fixed his expression into a scowl.

“Dakota…”

She raised her hand to stop him.

“That… is enough,” she said, shaking her head. “You’re right. And there are more important things to discuss.”

She gazed out at the water again.

“You shouldn’t have come looking for me here, you know,” she pointed out. “I doubt I will ever set foot in the water again.”

“What!? Why?!” Nick exclaimed.

Dakota glanced up at him from her crouched position and raised her eyebrow. “…A question…?”

“Stow the game,” Nick said, shaking his head. “What’s the matter with you? Why are you so… so…!”

He didn’t know how to feel at this point. He’d come looking for Dakota ready to give him a piece of his mind, but when he found her, nothing had gone the way he’d expected. He just felt so… off.

“Dakota…”

“My transformations are still active,” she said. “…To answer your question, I mean.” She reached down, and placed her gloved hand in the water. “Even with these gloves, I can still feel my skin getting wet… and I can still…”

She pulled her fingers from the water, like the pool was molten magma. She shook her hand dry and glanced up, her cheeks carrying the slightest of rosy tints.

“Only now, I don’t have any means of really satiating those needs,” she said quietly, staring him in the eyes.

Nick frowned. So even though she became the host, her transformations are still active? I wonder why that is. Is it because of that producer guy, that Mr. S?

Probably. He seemed like the kind of person who would screw with Dakota like that, just for fun.

“Now then,” Dakota said, rising from her crouched position and slinking over to Nick. “I’ve answered two of your questions in a row. So I think that means you deserve to answer two of mine. It’s only fair, after all.”

Nick nodded reluctantly. He could feel the pressure in her gaze, like her eyes were drilling into his soul. He stepped back slightly, trying to regain some space so he could catch his breath.

Dakota took that **** as a sign that he was amenable to her questions.

She had two, but she only really cared about the answer for one of them.

“Do you still love me?” She asked, gazing into his heart.

Nick felt himself stop breathing.

“Dakota…” He weakly replied.

“It’s a simple question,” she murmured, approaching him. “But it’s the only question that, even with how well I know you, I don’t know the answer to.”

She took his hand. He skin felt so cold through the glove.

“Do you still love me?” She asked again, her voice hitching with slight desperation.

“…I don’t know,” he replied. He looked away, unable to confront her.

Dakota face shifted into a mixture of pain, disappointment, and rage.

“Liar,” she spat. She pulled back her hand and turned away, pacing back and forth. “You know exactly what you feel! You just don’t want to accept it! You don’t want to admit it!”

“Well, can you blame me?!” Nick exclaimed. “After everything you’ve done, after all the people you’ve hurt, my friends, people I care about, people I love, even your own child, how do you expect me to still love you after all that!?”

He didn’t give a damn about the game anymore; his emotions just came pouring out.

“But you do,” she hissed, glaring him down like a king cobra poised to strike. “Even though I disgust you, even though you want to hate me, you still love me. Because deep down, none of that matters to you, does it?!”

She slapped her chest.

“You know who I am. And even with what I’ve become, you know that you still love me for it. And no matter how hard you try to hide it, you can’t change that fact.”

“…Maybe you’re right,” Nick admitted. He hated this, feeling so ashamed of where his heart still lay. “But acting the way you are right now, tormenting the people around me, just for your own amusement… my love can only go so far, Dakota. If you keep going like this, if you don’t stop, if you don’t change… I’m going to wake up one day not loving you anymore. And I don’t think you’ll be able to live with that.”

A tense silence hung in the air. But Nick needed to say what he’d said. Even though he wasn’t sure how true it really was. He wanted to believe that a day might come when he’d stop loving Dakota; if, for no other reason, than because it was a threat that could keep her in line, and keep the people he cared about safe.

But he wasn’t sure if he could.

“…You think it’s so easy, don’t you?” Dakota said quietly. She lifted her head, and her eyes filled with tears. “Doing this job. Doing what needs to be done, to make you happy. …That’s why I tried to pass on this role, don’t you understand? It wasn’t just because I wanted to be in your harem, Nick. It was because I knew, that if you saw me as this person… if you knew the things I’ve done, the things I wanted to do… you would someday stop loving me. …And you’re right. That… that’s the one thing I can’t live with, Nick. I’ve done everything for you. For you to stop loving me…”

She didn’t finish that sentence. Maybe she didn’t know how. But Nick saw her expression harden, and her tears dry up.

“Dakota,” he said softly, “we can stop this whole thing. You don’t have to do this. You can-”

“I already knew, Nick,” she cut him off with a snarl, “that you wouldn’t be able to handle the truth. Nick, we live in a show that has rules, and those rules have to be guarded by people with power. Who’s going to do it? You? Sylvia? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom! You weep for Sylvia and you curse the producers! You have that luxury! You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that Sylvia’s expunging, while tragic, was all for your happiness! And my existence – while gross and incomprehensible to you – is all for your happiness! You don’t want the truth, because deep down in places you don’t talk about in bed with your women, you want me to give you a harem! You need me to give you a harem! We use words like ‘happiness’ ‘love’ ‘loyalty’. I use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something! You use them as a punchline! I have neither the time, nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very happiness that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it! I would rather you just said ‘thank you’, and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up your own dick, and start pleasuring yourself. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you are entitled to!”

Nick had no idea what to say to that. Dakota’s mask had slipped off entirely and fell into the water, and all that remained was her true face, warped and twisted so beyond recognition that she might not have even realized how many of her words weren’t even her own.

And then, as if it was nothing, she slowly calmed down, her breathing evened out, and her cold exterior returned as the monster beneath the surface slithered back into hiding.

“…I still have one question left,” she said finally. “Will you continue to play along with this show, Nick? Or will you resist, out of your higher moral principle?”

That was the question, then, wasn’t it? But Nick had one of his own. It was the same question he’d sought out Dakota in the first place to answer.

“I will,” he nodded, “if I like the answer you give me to this next question.”

Dakota said nothing. She already knew what he was going to ask. The only question worth asking at this point.

“My deal with Sylvia, to limit the degree to which the elimination transformations warp the others. Are you still going to uphold it? Even for Sylvia?”

Dakota shook her head incredulously. “Still worrying about that thing, even now…”

“I need an answer, Dakota. Or this thing is done.”

Dakota narrowed her eyes. “I’m not like that little doll, Nick. I have my own will. I won’t be bullied into submission. I might be fine with allowing those other girls their mercy; after all, elimination transformations that make you happiest is what I want, as well. But Sylvia… now, that’s another matter altogether, isn’t it? So even if you threaten me with hatred, with losing your love… I’ll just **** myself to go live with that, if I have to. And I can do that with my head held high, because I’m the one who’s keeping you safe. From the real darkness out there.”

Nick could sense her about to slip into another rant, so he cut her off before she could get going.

“Fine then,” he scowled. “If I can’t appeal to your morality, then what about your pragmatism?”

“Oh?” Dakota raised her eyebrow.

“Maybe you don’t care, because you don’t see her as a person,” Nick said, frowning. “But to the other girls, what you did to her… it was horrific. They’re not like you, Dakota, they see Sylvia as a person. A flawed one, yeah, but still a person. So if Sylvia’s life is at stake, if she’s going to be reduced back to sand again… someone’s going to cave. They’re going to pick her as their buddy, even if they don’t want to. Just to keep her alive. And I don’t think that a show with a predetermined outcome like that is something you, or the producers want.”

As if to punctuate his point, the room began to shake. Water from the pool splashed up against Dakota’s ankles and she frowned.

Then, the frown turned upside-down. “…I didn’t give you enough credit,” she said, narrowing her eyes. “How cunning… and you’re right. I suppose, if those girls see Sylvia as a real person, they would choose her just to spare her existence… and I just can’t have that. Sylvia needs to earn her spot on the merit of proving she’s a real person, not out of some misplaced sense of pity. Fine then. I’ll keep the bargain she made for you, provided you uphold your end. And I promise, whatever elimination Sylvia will get, her existence will be maintained. Is that good enough for you, Nick?”

Nick sighed, and then nodded. It would have to do.

“Thank you,” he said, even though he didn’t feel particularly grateful.

But it still made Dakota smile. “You see? That’s all I ask for, Nick.”

The game was over. There were no more questions to ask.

With a wave of her cane, Dakota left Nick alone with just the churning water of the pool as company as the small waves on the surface slowly came to a stop once more.