I'm okay if you ACTUALLY SPOIL UMINEKO FOR ME.

You're really sure? If you ended up here by accident, before you read further, I'll remind you that I'm ACTUALLY SPOILING IT. I'm going to be spoiling the most exciting part. But if you're that **** for an erotic scene featuring me, then I suppose I can tell you

THAT
MIRACLE
WILL
NEVER
OCCUR.

Ugh! Spoiling this for you is the only entertaining part of this so far. To think, I had to speak not only with Player, but with the disgusting reader pushing his buttons! Why do you think I hid myself all the way at the end of this pathetic chapter, behind an ambiguous route and a wall of quizzes nobody in their right mind would want to solve? I never imagined you'd make it all the way here. Truly a rotten kind of "miracle."

Let me make this clear for you. I "helped" that kid because I thought it'd be amusing if he ended up trapped in the darkness of oblivion for a thousand years! The even funnier part was hitching it to your writing abilities, as if you're capable of writing anything anybody wants to read. Two likes? One favorite? Don't make me laugh! And all of that was just smut, right? It is entertaining, truly entertaining, to imagine you trying to write a fleshed-out story with a beginning, middle, and end. You'll just skip to the part where you whip out that pencil dick and stroke it, riiight?!

I had imagined I'd be able to get my hands on a version of that sad kid's board and do what I like with it with Player gone, but now that I have it... It's like getting your parent's treasured favorite game as a kid, only to discover it's a copy of a copy of a copy of Candyland, missing pieces and covered in strange spots! It makes me sick to even think about it.

If you're quite done, drag Player back from his nightmare and get on with it, already.

Oh, wait. One more thing. That imbecile running this story put a section up for me, didn't he? As if inviting you to read or submit chapters where I'm subject to the rules of his story, and where I bow to the influence of the demented "Pink Trigger?" Get that thought out of your head. Enjoy some more chapters with the dumb rabbits or a woman old enough to be your mother, okay? Even if you were to meet an image of me in those routes, and no matter what you **** that image to do, it will never be me.

And if I catch you there, I might be a bit disappointed in you.