I'm in it for myself!

My teammates smirked knowingly as I started tapping the cooking surface, pacing back and forth like a supervillain.

"Well, well, well. Good to meet you, Mr Wang."

"Yang." The 'weapon' whispered at me.

"That's what I said," I glared at him before turning back to Mr 'Yang', "I expect you know why we're here."

I heard him say "Jesus Christ" under his breath. Not that I cared, my mission wasn't to be liked.

"As a matter of fact, I do," Mr Yang (or whatever) replied, menacingly.

I kept tapping, looking across the room at the waitress for her response. She bit her lip, but it might have been to do with the gun to her head. I needed more time.

"And what is that?" I asked.

He seemed confused. "You're ...asking me why you're in my restaurant?" Mr Something-ang, asked angrily.

My teammates looked at each other again, but this time with a confused look on their faces.

"I -- yes." I tried to sound firm but the guns were starting to distract me.

Mr Yang rolled his eyes. "Just shoot them and move on w--" He turned to look at the waitress, who had just let out a sensual moan, and rub against her captor. "What the hell?"

"Wh- what are you doing?" My colleague holding her captive asked, trying to restore her stance as a hostage-holder, but the writhing beauty was confusing the power dynamic. She looked over at my hand to see what I was doing, which was a mistake on her part because in all the chaos I managed to get enough of a grip on her too. "Oh!" She buckled too, and bit her lip, joining in the slow wriggling with her captor like some kind of sensual dance. "John?!"

A few more taps later and I had the waitress's hand snaking up to her waist and down into my colleague's pants. A few more again and the gun clattered to the floor as the waitress spun around and started making out, still fingering her.

I was gesturing wildly with my other hand, drawing in the attention of everyone else in the kitchen, who promptly threw their guns on the floor and started a brawl with each other. The only exception was my formidable teammates, 'the weapon,' and the young woman, but I had a plan.

Satisfied with the chaos I'd orchestrated, I edged out of the kitchen towards the back door of the restaurant. The pair appeared in front of me, and the man remarked, "you will pay for this."

One final flick of my wrist and my plan was executed. He took a step towards me, presumably ready to knock me out, but didn't expect his younger colleague to spin around and punch him square in the crotch with impressive might.

He doubled over, but before she could go in for a second impact, he grabbed her wrists.

I stepped over the reluctantly duelling pair towards the back door and drank in the chaos one last time before I left. A bunch of probably-Chinese chefs brawling around two beautiful women sensually making out as if nothing was happening. The waitress's elegant hand was working hard between her legs to stop my colleague (who I didn't have a particularly strong hypnotic connection with) from coming to her senses.

My male colleague, formerly known to me as 'the weapon' was preoccupied trying to restrain his younger colleague from further abusing his balls.

Mr Yang was standing in the chaos with his gun out, but was clearly unable to maintain a target in the chaos.

I snuck out to the alleyway, looked for enemies (and by that I mean, of course, people from my own government) and breathed a sigh of relief when I saw the coast was clear.

"Okay, that's enough." A familiar female voice came from a PA system somewhere outside.

"That's weird." I said to myself as bright lights came from every direction, blinding me. I turned back and, in the new light, what was once an imposing city alleyway didn't look so convincing. I looked up and, instead of stars or clouds, saw a hangar ceiling. To to the side, I saw a huge door sliding open, revealing some kind of airport.

I felt a sharp pain in the side of my neck and the world began to spin.