How about some campus merch to cover those swinging nuts?

(Featured image: Kenzie Reeves)

The sun began to dip behind the tall, brick buildings that made up the small, historic campus. David sized up each and every fuckable set of holes he passed by on the sidewalks, while his cock flapped back and forth over his thighs. They mostly didn't notice him, but they would if he heard more prize bells.

The bookstore came into view across one of the small streets occasionally graced by an overpriced car, paid for with daddy's credit card. The sign above the door said Benton James University Books & More, and there was a really dumb-looking cartoon rooster crowing beside it. The banner in the window said "GO COCKS" – and David tried to remember if that was actually their mascot back in the real world.

He jingled through the front door and felt the rush of cool AC wash over him, accompanied by some poppy top-40s music issuing from the speakers in the ceiling. His balls jostled between his legs as he strolled up to the counter and shouted at the attendant sifting through boxes on the back the wall.

"Hey, blondie! Where's your jackets and shit?" The girl turned from her work with a start and then paced over to the counter to help her latest customer. As she got close David saw that her hair was a rat's nest and her face was streaked with mascara and spit.

"Uhm, we've got some campus merch, upstairs – j-just past the tumblers and shot glasses over there," she pointed with a trembling hand over David's shoulder, and he glanced in that direction.

"The fuck happened to you?" He frowned – not out of concern, but because he thought he was the only one fucking faces up in Blowjob Heaven. The girl only shook her head, and slinked back to her work in the corner.

David sucked his teeth, and turned to head for the stairs. He perused the shelves on his way, wondering if he actually had to pay for anything or if he could just walk out with some of the cheerleader calendars he'd normally jerk off to. Then he tripped over something fleshy in the middle of the aisle.

"Fuck man! What the hell!" He spat as he spun angrily to chew out whoever was wrecking his perfect day. His eyes dropped to a chubby brunette with her bra twisted around her waist, coughing up pearly gunk onto the low-pile store carpeting. This made David furious. Who the hell was fucking all the bitches in his perfect afterlife?

He stamped toward the stairs and hauled himself up using the railing, out of breath by the time he reached the top. Sprawled from the last stair all the way to the far wall was a procession of hot young bodies, stripped and fucked and jizzed like some kind of lewd massacre. And at the other end of them all was a bulky guy in ridiculous underwear, throatfucking a little brown attendant like a junkyard dog.

David fumed, and started walking on top of the piles of used-up girls, tripping here and there on tangled underwear and slimy ass cheeks.

"Hey fuckface! What the hell are you doing here??" He shouted, but the other guy ignored him. The place was a grimy mess – how many times had this guy blown his load? The puddles only seemed to get thicker the closer David got. He hated stepping in another dude's cum – but he hated even more that the other dude was there at all.

"I said HEY FUCKFACE!" David's voice echoed off the wall as he got within a few feet of the bulky stranger, and the guy finally turned his head. He stopped plunging the latina woman's neck for a second and furrowed his brow at the naked gremlin trundling toward him.

"Who the fuck are you?" His colorful underwear looked like some kind of jockstrap, and his full, heavy nuts were swollen out from it, sloshing with copious amounts of hot jizz.

"I asked you first!" David hollered, even though he hadn't. "This is my fucking heaven and you're fucking all my girls!"

"What the hell are you talking about, this is my heaven, I've been here for like a week already! Where the hell did you come from?"

"I just croaked like today! Kristi didn't say anything about some other asshole hanging out here making a mess of the place. Go get your own fantasy world!"

"Ugh, it's probably first-come first-serve dude – just go find some other spot to get your rocks off. I'm almost done here anyway." The guy resumed spearing the attendant's neck while tears streamed down her cheeks and she blew gummy slime from her nose.

"You fuckin– you should… ugh!" David tossed his hands impotently at the scene, overcome with jealousy and frustration. Why the hell would he want to share all these immaculate sluts with a bunch of other dead guys? He stomped over the writhing, groaning bodies the stranger had already used, deciding to grab some pants and get out of there.

He angrily scraped hangers along racks, searching for some new sweats and a t-shirt, hating the bright red and gold colors of all the clothing. He ripped a pair of sweats off the wall and stuffed his legs into them, before snatching up a dri-fit shirt that said BJU on the chest and tugging it over his head.

There was pearly slime everywhere on the path he trudged back toward the stairs, just as the guy was hitting his climax. David turned his head with a scowl to watch the guy flood the brown girl's belly, and noticed the dude looked… not good.

He was sweating – a lot. But it didn't look like normal sweat; it was kind of pale, like milk. His eyes looked small, and his legs were shaking. David stopped and stared as the guy's nuts jumped and spilled a torrent of thick seed down the girl's gullet, gurgling from the sides of her mouth while she shivered and hurled.

The colorful jockstrap slid down the guy's legs, and his hands trembled on the girl's head. He was wheezing, and cursing, his face twisted in a stupid yawn of absolute bliss. His body jerked, and his dick pulsed, and white sweat poured from his pores. Then, with a sound like a popped water balloon, he splashed to the ground in a wave of slimy jizz.

David screamed like a middle-aged white woman, and recoiled at the sight. "What the fuck! What the fuuuck!" He continued to yell as he trampled over the bodies toward the stairs. He threw one final glance over his shoulder before he reached the railing, and saw a curtain of shadows descending on the cum-soaked jockstrap floating in the puddle of spunk.

The bell of the front door was bashed loose as David hurtled out into the street, and his fleet slapped concrete until he thought his chest would explode. When he finally stopped, he was doubled-over in the bushes outside of a row of sorority houses, gasping like a choked dog and – was he crying? Jesus Christ.

He felt a vibration in his pocket, and with a shaky hand pulled it out to stare at the notification.

"See puppy? All gobbled up." Fatima sent another frowny face.

"Whay wastat??? Hepp meFatty!!!" His idiot thumbs blundered back.

"Come inside, we'll talk."

He read the message and then looked up at the colonial-style sorority house in front of him as the main door opened. Standing there with a perfect smile was his new, and only, friend. If that's what she could be called.