How Did I Get All Messy?

My eyes went wide and my mouth opened and closed a few times, my mind obviously not working well enough to generate a real response for her. Or an excuse that made any sense at all.

All I could think about was the truth.

"Blushing? Really?" she laughs, turning back to her purse and starting to pull out one item after the other, "If I didn't know better I'd say you actually had something to hide. But let me guess, you just got caught in the heat? Went for a run?"

I shrug, "Something like that."

"Yeah," she says, turning and moving to reposition me with my back against the wall with the sinks on it so that I was staring out and completely unable to see myself in the mirror, "Something like that."

She was grinning but that smile quickly faded into a firm and straight line as she concentrated on the task at hand. Rachel didn't speak much while she was working and that left me to wonder how she'd managed to hide quite so many little items away in quite such a small purse, but as she flitted about and powdered and painted and drew all over me I eventually fell into the rhythm of it, more than a little entranced by her skill and capability.

These last days were the closest I'd ever been to Rachel, but this was the absolute closest of them. I mean making out and dancing like we had last night was one thing, but there was a certain kind of intimacy to this particular moment here.

Just her and I alone in this bathroom. Her moving so close to me, so close that I could make out every feature of her face and with her touching, brushing up against, and almost feeling me.

God, it was close and god I wanted her closer. Rachel was an undeniably gorgeous woman and as I watched her move with almost feline grace and svelte capability I found that I envied her, rather than just desired her.

That was new to me. As a man and as a woman I'd always wanted Rachel and that desire was always tied into her personality, her charms, her beauty, and her capable confidence. Rachel always struck me as the kind of person who knew themselves so well, knew perfectly well what they wanted. And I guess never having had that myself it would be natural to be envious of her certainty.

But truthfully it was more than that. Truthfully right now I knew that it was more than that. It was, instead, that Rachel had this feminine grace which I lacked. That she wasn't some girl who was awkward and gangly in her body.

That, instead, she was a woman. And it was that I wanted to be a woman just like her too.

By the time she steps back finally I'm half breathless and staring at her with wonder and as she steps back to take in the full picture of me I think she notices the look in my eyes for the first time. So this time it's her chance to blush a little, her mouth curling at the edges as she raises an eyebrow.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

I don't find it hard to tell her, shockingly. But my voice does come out with a little bit of breathless wonder at the edges of it.

"You just look like you know what you're doing," I tell her, "You look like you've got it all figured out. Me? I'm so uncertain about things. I guess I'm a little jealous."

"Oh Emily," she smiles, "I have almost nothing figured out, but I know how to do makeup if that's what you're talking about. And hell, maybe that's as apt a metaphor as any even if it is a little on the nose."

"How's that?" I ask her.

"Well I know how to make myself look right, how to act the part. But that's all only skin deep. Inside I guarantee I'm just as messed up and confused as you are."

Thinking about everything. Thinking about how I got here. Thinking about the masculine body and the male life I left behind and the back and forth that I've gone over.

Thinking about all of that, I can't help but laugh.

"Sorry," I tell her by way of explanation, "It's just if you knew me, you'd know how silly of a statement that is. But even if it is just skin deep I still envy you for that. Still wish I knew how to do what you do."

"I can teach you," she shrugs, "It's not that hard. And soon enough you'll be just as skilled as I am. And then every day when you walk out the door, you'll be able to look just as good as this."

Reaching out Rachel takes my hand and pulls me forward, turning me gently to face the mirror and take in the sight of myself done up properly for the very first time.

For a limited time you can join my Patreon for only $2 and get access to over a month's worth of new pages of My Second Chance as well as SEVEN FULL STORIES with a new one every month! Join here: https://www.patreon.com/SophiePert