Her big Hollywood break!

I walked onto the set today in a foul mood. When my agent showed me the script I thought it sounded like a fascinating love story. Naomi and Charles met on a vacation in the Swiss Alps. Both were married to other people but were loveless unions for money and prestige. It was a typical fairy tale Hollywood romance, kinda like Titanic on the land with no one drowning. The problem here of course was that everyone else working on the picture were assholes.

I'm Gillian Benton. A rising star on Broadway at the tender age of 26, my agent thought this would be the perfect vehicle for making the switch over. The main role called for long raven black tresses, icy blue eyes, and a curvy body which described me exactly. I never thought my slightly below-average bust stood out among my peers but I knew my ass got me roles, my legs kept them for me and my sultry voice meant new offers constantly rolled in. Of course, that worked in musicals with all the singing and dancing so I had nothing more to prove under those shining lights, would it work on the silver screen? That was the last question I craved an answer to.

Marvin Davis was directing and was the toast of the Academy. He was a suave looking man at 55 with unkempt long salt and pepper hair and a cute London accent. His background was Shakespearean theater so it seemed the perfect match for a picture. After all, every movie he's directed has won something in the last decade and he understood my background after all but he had a dark side. He was a sexist pig, always careful never to touch or push too hard but all the girls on the set warned me that if I didn't make him happy I'd regret it. I wasn't having any of it and he'd make sure I paid the price for it. We argued over every little thing from the skimpy outfits he wanted me to wear on set to calling him out over snide remarks mumbled in passing. I'm so glad this is the last day of filming.

Lance Gumbell was my leading man. He was a dashing figure at 5'10" to my tiny 5"1". When we danced in the ball scene he towered over me, leading the makeup girls to joke that he'd devour me in one bite. He had long blonde hair that flowed down to his shoulders and piercing green eyes. Every morning he'd arrive to shoot disheveled from his nights with the groupies he picked up at the end of every day. He was of the opinion women existed for one thing but was gorgeous enough that girls threw themselves at him. So how would he know any different?

A few slaps and many angry stares taught him early to keep his hands to himself off-set. That never stopped him during all the dancing and kissing scenes though. His hands had taken all sorts of liberties when he got his chance there. Not wanting to suffer through a retake, I tolerated it during the scenes and blew up at him each time when the director yelled cut. As always I'd storm off to my trailer to calm down for the next one but the two men were always joking with each other when I came back. Thankfully there had been no actual sex scenes so far, that changes with the final one today though. After this, I could pick and choose my roles. Gumbell and Davis would never work with me again.

When I entered my trailer that morning, there was a handful of letters waiting on the small white vanity inside. I also saw the script laying under them. I turned my wireless speaker on a music channel and grabbed the letters. There was always a chance one of them was legit but as I opened the first, I knew it'd be the same BS. Each had a 6" by 6" black and white photo folded in half inside. I pulled them out and they were what I expected. Someone took a photo editor and a photo printer and decided to harass me again. Each of the pictures was of a porn scene with my head edited onto the female lead and everyone from the director, to my leading man and even a janitor in one nasty one put on the body of the male porn actor. I mumbled curses under my breath as I burned them in a metal trash can in the back.

My makeup and wardrobe girls showed up at 9 as usual. I always beat them by an hour now. In the beginning, I used to show up an hour after them but started getting in early to get rid of the morning 'presents' every day before they arrived. It was so exhausting and I could never figure out whether it was Marvin or Lance behind them. The ladies settled in and we shared light chit-chat while sitting and listening to the music.

All of us knew today would be different, the shooting was running way behind and we had that hard deadline of 9 pm. Any later and there was a huge pay cut written right into my contract, I surely couldn't afford that. I assumed everyone else was in the same predicament if only because of the frenzy of activity over the last couple of days. The people bankrolling this movie were known to be generous but very demanding when setting the schedule which explained the contract language. Unfortunately, there were a bunch of smaller scenes with supporting actors being shot this morning. Davis insisted the big sex scene come last as the filming climax. So there will only be a limited time for it and hopefully, that'll make them take it all seriously. Everyone is protective of their paychecks, right?

The call to get ready comes at 6 pm. I hop in the shower really quick and scrub to get the oils off my skin for makeup. I dry off and put on a light terrycloth robe. Then I walk out and sit at the vanity. The girls spring to action and it feels like a whirlwind as they take turns on my hair and face. So many brushes and fingers working in unison to make my hair and skin look just right. As I stand, one of them takes my robe and drapes it over the chair.

I sit back down and pull a flesh-colored thong on. I tie the floss thin straps around me and one of the ladies cuts the ends off so short no one would notice them unless they were looking closely. Then the wardrobe girl applies two palm-sized adhesive pads directly to my breasts to cover my nipples, after all any slips could cause us to have to reshoot the scene we figure. Then they go to work with their powders and lotions, trying to make my skin glow just right. . . and camouflage the tiny pieces of clothing I was still allowed to wear. At 7 pm, I had the robe back on and was walking to the casting room to wait until they were ready to shoot. There were no lines to memorize, after all, it was just a couple of minute-long simulated sex scene.

I sat in a chair in the small casting room. Pouring a glass of fruity wine and nibbling on some cheese, I look over the script again. Not that there is too much to read there. Lance and I spent two hours on a sound stage yesterday recording moans, grunts, and select sexy bits of dialog to be spliced in later by the editors. The script doesn't call for anything but action. This director is known for his life-like sex scenes from a series of shorts he did for HBO a decade back that launched his career. He carried his technique to the big screen and never looked back. Talking with several actresses that had starred in his films before taking this role, not a one had a complaint and all boasted about the boosts their careers got afterward. All I have to do is wiggle around with Gumbell for 5 or 10 minutes. Then Davis will take the footage and work with his edit crew to make it a masterpiece. Hopefully, Lance bothered with hygiene, I mutter as the door opens. After the way, he staggered in this morning things could get unpleasant.

Lance walked in wearing his own short terrycloth robe. Obviously, wardrobe bought them in bulk for the picture. I glance over the script and share a quick nod with him. Lance is likely happy to see the end of all this too. It's not like he's gotten the attention he felt he deserved. After all, he's a top-flight actor in the business and had worked with the director before. When he was paired with a relative unknown (outside the musical business anyway), he probably expected. . . certain favors. Well, he'll just have to settle for his groupies. I go back to ignoring him and leaf through the script some more, bored to . By the time the director finally made his way back to the room, I was halfway through my second glass of wine. Hopefully, a slight buzz will make this pass more smoothly.