Help Them

"Are you really trying to say that Blake deserves that same consideration? God I am so sick of the excuse that the home life of a bully somehow justifies them being an asshole."

"Explanation and justification are two different things," she agrees, patient at my ire, "But they are no less related. And they are no less meaningful. And I am merely passing on this message to you, this word of caution and this word of warning and this bit of advice."

"Be mindful," I mocked, a sing song voice that was a parody of her ethereal dreaminess, "Be kind. Help others. Enjoy the little delights in life."

"And what part of that is worthy of mockery?" she asks me, challenging my assertion.

I sigh, "On it's own? None of it. In a vacuum?"

I trail off then moan, putting my head in my hands and clenching my eyes tightly shut.

"Are you really saying that I'm going to have to help him?"

"Not directly," she replies, "Hell I'm not even saying that you have to help him positively. You want to destroy him? You want ot make his life a living hell? You want to get ****? You're well and truly entitled to it.

"You can break him. You have it in you and he relies on you eneough that he would gladly shatter his body on the rocks of your wrath.

"But you will have to deal with the consequences, my dear. You have to answer for it. One day. One way. You all do."

There is a kind of bitter resentment in the way she others me. She treats me as some blunt animal, barely able to get over my own instincts.

And it makes me wonder why she even bothers. If interacting with our lesser selves raises the bile of her ire so much she could just dismiss us out of hand.

But I know, somehow, that it's more complicated than I will ever know.

When I turn up to look again, the darkness has already swept in. The fog had closed around her, a long time ago if I had to guess.

"Wait," I protest into the void, the inky blackness of it fathomless like the inevitable depths of her cup spilled on a blanket of velvet black, "I've still got more questions. I still need more answers. I'm not... I didn't... I didn't ask you to go."

But I didn't need to ask and I didn't have the right.

And I didn't make the choice, not here. Not in her domain.

Not where I was just visiting.

Not where I was lucky enough to get any acknowledgment at all.

She has left me now, already. Swept away into the depths of my dreams as I remember the one I had last night. The conversation and the men who visited me afterwards. Faceless but with their intentions and their appetites naked and bared to me.

The ache and the need and the fact that it drove me, in some way, into the arms of the strangers I fell into again and again. The man in the alley who remains unnamed and then Jake afterwards, whose name I learned.

The men who might be friends and the ones who were surely enemies but Blake, oh I couldn't deny the truth of her words.

Blake was broken like all people are. I knew that I was, knew Eddie was as well.

Who was I to deny Blake's pain, even if he'd caused plenty of it in me as well.

This was not what I wanted. This was not simple. This was not some fantasy that I could live in, some pleasure palace that I could experience and then put behind me when I was done with it.

It was dark and intense and difficult to wrap my head or my heart around and the more I tried to contemplate the fullness of it the harder it was for me to deny that I never would.

God I was lost, maybe more even than when I woke up in this body and had to find my way forward. I was more lost than when I was certain this was all a dream.

I crave simplicity. I crave the simple mathematics of two bodies, tab A into slot B and explosions that I could live off of from it.

I crave the simplicity of sex I know that life is more than that.

I slide into sleep and I slumber, restless, waking only by rote when the morning comes and remembering every moment of it this time.

And that is a wrap on Chapter Seven, which means that I'll be taking a short break and returning on Monday April 15th with the start of Chapter Eight!

As always, for those who don't want to wait, my Patreon is farther ahead and posts without any delay whatsoever. In fact, as of about right now, Patrons have access to the entirety of Chapter Eight as well as the start of Chapter Nine and TEN full-length side stories that detail Emily falling into bed with all manner of people in all kinds of situations. If you're interested, for only $2 a month you can get access to a whole wealth of content!

Join here: https://www.patreon.com/SophiePert

But that's about all I'll bug you with for now. I'll see you in April!

<3

Sophie