Heading to your home theater

Human beings have spent ten thousand years iterating on the most basic tool designs. Levers, pulleys, spears, swords, tables - and chairs.

You frequently use women for sitting on. You have no compunction about using a woman as a chair. You'll even admit you're comfortable on many of the women you've sat on. But it's a pain in the ass to set up any number of female bodies in a way that matches the functionality and comfort of the priciest recliner an eccentric multimillionaire stuck in his personal theater, and you should know - several of the girls you'd tried to stack on top of each other were engineers who tried to help you design a better multi-human chair.

That's not to say that there aren't other women you've set up in the room as you both plop down on your lush loveseat-recliner. At the back of the recliner are two gigantic velcro straps, which when pulled tight press someone into the furniture piece, who'll then act as a masseuse for the seated person they're behind. One of those straps is occupied by a tall, rail-thin Hispanic woman; you let Rosa take that side, and you take the other.

Besides her, you've got Tables besides each armrest - your side is a small blonde Russian gymnast, and hers is a - someone. You forgot.

Past those, as you passed the dining room on your way to the theater, there had been a woman in a suit and tie sitting at your dining table and doing spreadsheets to track your girls' expenses. You had grabbed her by her ponytail and dragged her along the floor, planning on keeping her in the theater in case you needed a Helper; she had made an instinctive noise from surprise, but relaxed into it when she realized it was just you. Rosa made no comment on that at all.

And past all of those girls, there are others - women your eyes just skim over, because you're so used to them being background objects you don't even register their presence.

You hand her the remote - you can't decide what movie to pick. Unfortunately, she can't (or doesn't want to) either, and after a brief back-and-forth you ask the Helper to just choose a damn movie for you. Lion Wars: The Ring of Music is something neither of you had even considered when just skimming titles, but the actual description looks good.

"You want a drink?", you ask. "I stocked up on the stuff you ordered last time."

She looks shocked for a second, and then uncomfortable, and then her face is back to perfectly normal. "Oh! Yeah, last time, huh? I, uh, I don't really think **** is a good ide - I don't want ****, I mean. You have any milk? I'm on a weird diet right now."

That's worth a chuckle. "Oh, boy, do I. Helper, go milk Mary. Bring one of those resealable glass bottles. And get me ice water, and get us both some popcorn."

Helper leaves.

"You have a cow here?"

"Not a cow. A milk dispenser", you say, but she doesn't get it, asking you how you milk a milk dispenser.

"She's a -", you make a vaguely spherical gesture in front of your chest, and it clicks for Rosa.

"That's pretty cool, honestly. You must be preventing so much plastic waste. You know that cows are the main source of -"

This idle chatter goes on for a few minutes, until the Helper returns, bringing you your drinks and snack. For Rosa, she brought a bottle, but you didn't specify what you wanted your water in, so of course she's carrying it in her mouth. She kisses you, passing some of the water into your mouth, and then stands back and dutifully continues to carry the rest of your drink in her mouth until you notice.

Rosa sees the kiss but doesn't react. She's busy fiddling with her Table. You've put your popcorn down on your own, the popcorn balancing precariously on the naked Russian woman's stomach as she does a full bridge - she's so short and thin that there's not much space to actually keep it on. You glance back at Rosa when you hear a sound you've gotten used to - something being shoved up a woman.

"Hadn't realized at first these tables had holes to keep stuff", Rosa responds to your unspoken question. You can hear the heavy breathing of her Table- your neighbors had honestly been insulted when you didn't want their e-girl daughter, and you eventually told her you'd take her when she was eighteen, which was a week ago. Should have probably trained her holes, too, though - she's on all fours, not in a bridge, but you're still not sure how well she'll stay like that.

The movie has started.