He invents things

John opened up an invention shop. Well, it was more of an electronic shop, as the only thing he sold was TVs and stuff like that. He had one real invention, a Woman Remote. It was a remote control that controlled women. The buttons were...

Power: When pressed, the woman falls asleep untill pressed again

Pause: When pressed, the woman freezes in place, will remain frozen until unpaused

Volume up/down/mute: The woman will talk louder or quieter when pressed

Channel: When pressed, the woman will be dressed as a different channel (newswoman, cheerleader, etc.). She will act out whatever channel she is until the channel button is pressed again.

Loop: This will make her loop any action until the button is pressed again.

Fast forward/rewind: The woman will either move faster or move in reverse.