I managed to find myself alone with Elizabeth for a few minutes when I went to the kitchen for a drink. Knowing that I might not have the time for an in-depth discussion, I just came out with it.
"Why is Stephanie waiting until prom to have sex with Simon?"
She froze as soon as the words left my mouth, not unlike a thief caught in the act. The look in her eyes told me that she was indeed privy to this, and now she couldn't deny it. She didn't bother questioning how I came about this knowledge, choosing to cut right to the chase.
"Well, she said that she wanted it to be special, but..."
"But...?"
"...but she also needed some time to... to get over you."
Just when I though that I was beginning to get my head on straight, I get nailed by another whopper.
"Get over me? Get over me? Whats that supposed to mean? I'm the one who got dumped!"
Elizabeth took a moment before she replied, "I know, but... that's how much you mean to her, Ian. It may not have been love, but it was special to her, and she doesn't want to lose that." She paused before continuing, "I understand how she feels. It was special to me, too."
I felt a sudden burst of warmth in my chest, along with a certain strain within my jeans. There had always been a... not a spark, more like a static charge; like when you pull shirts out of the dryer. It was faint, but it was always there between us. I thought we'd lost it after Stephanie called it quits, but maybe now...
I place my hands on her hips, closing the distance between us, noting the way she took a slow, steady breath that seemed to inflate her chest. Her lips parted as she looked up at me, the slight glaze of her lip balm adding to their allure.
"I... I know it was special," I told her. "It was for all of us. Just because she and I... well, that doesn't mean that we can't..."
She seemed to consider this for a moment, the possibilities running through her mind before she closed her eyes and whispered, "I cant, Ian. Even if... even if I wanted to..."
She let the words hang there for a moment and gazed up at me, the look in her eyes projecting memories of the intimate times we had shared with Stephanie, learning about ourselves and each other. It took all of my willpower to keep from kissing her right there, overwhelmed by her unique combination of shyness and sensual allure.
"Even if I wanted to, it would hurt Stephanie if I did. That wouldn't be fair to her."
Now I was annoyed, partially because I was so horny, but also because I was now experiencing the ripple-effect of my brief relationship with Stephanie. Part of me wanted to storm out right then and there, but then I recalled how my anger had tarnished my friendship with Amy, so I opted to close my eyes and take a deep breath instead. Funny thing how well that works.
"Wouldn't be fair to her?" I replied, keeping my tone smooth. "She chose Simon, end of story. We shouldn't have to hang on and be miserable just because she's conflicted about her choice."
Her arms were around my waist in an instant, clutching me tightly as she pressed her head into my chest. "I know... but I can't help but feel that way. Can you understand that?"
As much as I didn't want to admit to it, I knew exactly how she felt. Lord knows that I've been going through a whirlwind of emotions myself in the last few days, wanting to forgive Amy but still finding myself unable to. Feeling one way but acting another was a terrible strain on a person, and I didn't want to pressure her.
By the time I went home for the night I was pent-up and horny as hell. Normally I'd just take care of things manually, but I just couldn't bring myself to. Now I had some idea of what a junkie felt like when he needed a hit. I'd spent my whole life without ever having sex, then suddenly found myself going on a two-week binge, and now I was out of luck.
I kept thinking about each of the girls, and how one by one they were becoming unattainable. I wasn't sure why this even bothered me. After all, these were my friends I was thinking about. I cared about each of them, but there was also no denying the physical attraction I felt towards them.
I thought back on my fight with Amy, and her words still stung...
What, you thought that hanging around a bunch of hot chicks mean that at least one of us had to fall in love with you? That you deserve the occasional pity-fuck? Give me a break!
I tried to convince myself that this wasn't why I befriended them in the first place. I mean sure, I was interested in the possibility of sex, but I was also perfectly fine with being a friend to them. I was considering asking them to try and help pair me up with someone outside our group, but the thought depressed me. Whoever they chose, she wouldn't be one of these girls, and I couldn't help but feel like i would just slip into the same friend-zone that I currently found myself in.
Being with any of them would be a joy, but it seemed like less and less of a possibility with each passing day. Stephanie had moved on, and Elizabeth was understandably ****. Corrine... well, I knew what her opinion was, and I still had a ways to go before I reached thirty, and didn't feel like waiting that long. My friendship with Amy had taken a nosedive, and I wasn't sure what to do about that anymore. Talia...
I suddenly realized that I didn't know quite where things stood between us. I mean, we did say that we wanted to keep things platonic, but that doesn't mean that we couldn't fool around a little, right? There was only one way to find out...
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